20 Small Funny jokes "part 2"

Joke 21: Respect

Customer: “Remember, even if my dog comes into your shop, you must respect him.”
Shopkeeper: “Of course, sir! If your dog comes, I’ll just assume you’ve come yourself.”
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Joke 22: The Exam Results

Dad: "Is your final exam over?"
Son: "Yup, and the results are out too."
Dad: "Why didn’t you tell me?"
Son: "Because I won’t need any new textbooks this year."

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23. The Elevator Mix-Up

Guest: yelling at the hotel bellboy "No way I’m staying in this room! What, you think I’m an animal? There’s just a stool in here! I’m not some country bumpkin you can fool!"
Bellboy: annoyed "Sir, come on inside. This isn’t your room—it’s the elevator!"

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24. Decision

Magistrate: “Give me a straight answer—did you commit the crime or not?”
Accused: “Sir, if I have to decide that myself, then why are you wasting your valuable time?”


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25. Forgetfulness

Passerby: “Why have you tied that string on your finger?”
Boy: “My mom tied it so I wouldn’t forget to post the letter.”
Passerby: “So, did you mail it?”
Boy: “No, Mom forgot to give me the letter.”


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26. All at Once

Because of a strike at printing presses, an old man couldn’t get his favorite newspaper for seventeen days. He phoned the editor and said:
“Sir! If you knew the strike would last this long, why didn’t you just print all seventeen days’ papers in advance?”


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27. Rest

Doctor (to a very talkative woman): “You’re not sick, you just need rest.”
Woman: “But look at my tongue.”
Doctor: “Yes, that especially needs more rest.”


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28. Trust

Boss (to new servant): “See, I trust you so much that I’ve given you the keys to the whole house.”
Servant: “What kind of trust is that? None of these keys open the safe—or your wife’s wardrobe!”


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29. Fragrance + Noise

A villager came to the city. Passing through the market, he stood staring at sweets in a shop.
Sweet-seller: “What are you doing?”
Villager: “I’m enjoying the fragrance of your sweets.”
The sweet-seller, thinking him a fool, said: “Then pay me for the fragrance.”
The villager jingled some coins in his pocket and said: “And I’ve paid you with the sound of money.”


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30. Dents

A woman drove into a service station with her car covered in dents.
She asked a boy: “Do you wash cars here?”
Boy: “Yes, ma’am, we wash them—but we don’t iron them.”


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31. Water Tap

Little boy: “Mom, where does the water in the tap come from?”
Mother: “From the river, son.”
One day, while at the river, the boy’s father fell in. The boy rushed home and shouted:
“Mom! Turn on the tap—Dad is coming!”


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32. Wake Me Up

Master: “Wake me at five o’clock in the evening.”
Servant: “Sir, it’s already five.”
Master: “Then what are you staring at? Go ahead and wake me up!”


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33. Headache

Doctor: “The pills I gave you yesterday for your headache—did they help?”
Boy: “Yes, very much. I played with them all day, and completely forgot about my headache!”


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34. Business

Parnam Singh, Gurnam Singh, and two of their friends sold their land in the village to build a hotel in the city. They built a grand hotel, but for a whole month not a single customer entered. Why? Because they had tied their four big dogs at the entrance!
They sold the hotel and decided to open a car repair garage. They built the workshop with all the best machinery, but again no customer came for a whole month. Why? Because they built the garage on the second floor!
Then they sold the garage and bought a taxi. For a month, they drove around the city but no one rode with them. Why? Because all four of them sat inside the taxi themselves!
Finally, frustrated, they decided to push the taxi into the sea. All day long they tried to push, but it wouldn’t move. Why? Because two of them were pushing from the front, and two from the back!


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35. Mourning

A man was carrying his color TV and VCR toward the sea.
His friend saw him and asked: “What’s going on?”
He replied: “I’m going to drown myself. I’ll take the TV and VCR with me. Even if my wife doesn’t mourn for me, at least she’ll mourn the loss of these things.”


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36. Shave

One man asked another: “How many times a day do you shave?”
The other replied: “Forty to fifty times.”
First man: “Are you crazy?”
Second man: “No, I’m a barber.”


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37. Car Drive

A small boy asked his father: “Dad, can we reach God by airplane?”
Father replied: “Son, you can even reach Him by car—if your mom is the one driving.”


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38. Eight Days

Judge: “Shame on you! You committed seven burglaries in one week.”
Accused: “What’s so shameful? A week only has seven days. If it had eight, I’d have done eight burglaries!”


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39. Beggar

A beggar was shouting: “Just two rupees, please! Just two rupees!”
A lady asked: “Why only two rupees?”
Beggar replied innocently: “Because I ask according to a person’s worth.”


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40. Donkey Meat

A blind man had an amazing ability to recognize meat by touch.
At the butcher’s, he touched one piece: “This is mutton.”
Another: “This is goat meat.”
The butcher was astonished. Then, mischievously, he removed his shirt and placed the blind man’s hand on his belly.
The blind man exclaimed: “What?! You even sell donkey meat here?”