Press Conference from the Pamplona 'Encierro' Bull Run

Announcer: We now go over to the post-match press conference in Pamplona, Spain where the American team, the bulls of the Portland Gores are live. They’ve just finished their special international game at the famous Bull Run in the city. They’re the first foreign team to have taken part.

Washington Post: Hi, Eric Crable of the Washington Post. If I can start by asking your Captain, Pontius Knight, how did you see the game today?

Pontius: Well, certainly it was all offense and no defence. We just blitzed straight outa the trap and kept hurtling forward.

Washington Post: How did it feel playing on foreign soil for the first time?

Pontius: Kinda strange. The crowd were all human, no bulls, no cattle and they sure weren’t wearing our colours. Saw a lotta red which got me fired up for some reason, but we did hear some cheering when we dropped a few Spaniards on their asses. So maybe we had some of the locals rooting for us quadrupeds.

L.A. Times: Hubert Muffler, L.A. Times. An unusual field for you guys too? What did you think? Can I ask you, Skull?

Skull Garrap: Yeah, it sure was. We had to turn a corner not long after the kick-off. I think I even saw a ‘No Entry’ sign but luckily, we don’t always stick to the rules.

New York Post: Jack Wormer here, New York Post. It struck me that it was a really narrow field of play.

Skull: You can say that again. As a wide receiver I couldn’t play my normal game. Our usual ‘I’ formation wasn’t exactly capitalised and I got jammed in the inside zone with all those tight streets and buildings and walls an all.

Washington Post: Apart from one spectacular opportunity.

Skull: Yep, the China Shop. I knew it was kinda cliched, but I couldn’t resist that one. I sure did smash up the opposition in there.

L.A. Times: What about you Bone Scrape? You got a decision against you for unnecessary roughness. What’s your take?

Bone Scrape: Definitely necessary. I mean, the opposition were all over the place getting in the way, you know? We had no choice but to rush hard and fast and furious, give plenty of nose tackle and lots of tush-push.

L.A. Times: Not to mention some tasty flipping.

Bone: That's right. I doinked that guy so high over the fence we shoulda hadda field goal.

L.A. Times: Did your calf problem affect your game?

Bone: Sure it did. It bothered me. But the kid's not mine. We’ll get the test sorted when I get back home.

Chicago Tribune: Rita Trinkler, Chicago Tribune. Can I ask offensive linesman Rampant Burn how you saw the final third?

Rampant Burn: Well, the underfoot conditions were much softer. That was on account of all those dudes lying on the ground. We made the breakthrough. They couldn't cope with an angry pile of 2-tons and they started dropping like flies in the Redzone. Mighty good pancake.

New York Times: And so, into the End Zone?

Pontius: Touchdown! We made 957 yards in one single play. Never been done before. Straight into the Bull Ring.

Washington Post: Congratulations, but for this next challenge, against the Pamplona Matadors. Do you fear them?

Pontius: Those fancy swords might give them a bit of an edge, but we got pretty sharp horns on our side, and two each as well. I think our next opponents will be saying their Hail Marys then running for their mommas. And they dress like The Beatles.

Rampant: Yeah, we be taking horn-fencing lessons.

Bone: Can’t do no ‘Coffin Corner’ though. The field is round.

Chicago Tribune: Good luck in the game. But do you think this trip will take a lot out of you for the upcoming games back in the States? Some tough matches ahead.

Pontius: Yeah, The Panthers, The Bears and The Lions. Tough opposition. They sure got the claws and teeth, but we got the hooves and horns, so we ain’t afraid of nobody, except perhaps The Dolphins.

New York Post: Good team.

Pontius: Not really, but we don’t swim too good.