On My Way Home

Hello. My name is Zack Norman. This is my first time coming to one of these conventions. You may recognize me as one of the people standing outside making fun of you. But there was an event in my life that forced me to change sides. Let me tell you all about it.

My workday had ended, and it was finally time to go home. Normally, I’d take the bus home, but it was a holiday, and the next bus wasn’t coming for another hour. I did not want to wait so I ordered an Uber. Ride Share was $20 cheaper than riding by myself, so I picked it. I was a little upset that It was still a 15-minute wait, but that’s still better than an hour.

When the car arrived, the passenger was engulfed in conversation with the driver.

Passenger: I’m telling you; he was spotted right here in Drakewood. I’m not the only one that saw him. Laura Duff posted on her page that her whole family saw him swimming in the lake just 2 days ago.

Driver: Of all of the lakes on the planet, why would Nessie come to this town. That’s like trying to convince me that the president was eating lunch at Flo’s Dinner. Nobody who care about themselves eat at Flo’s.

Passenger: Believe me, he was there. Nessie was right here in our town.

Me: I’m sorry for butting in. But who is Nessie?

Passenger: Nessie! Loch Ness Nessie!

Me: You mean the Loch Ness Monster. First of all, it doesn’t exist. Second, even if it did, it would have to travel over 3’600 miles to get here. That’s a long distance. The Atlantic is a large pond for this mythical creature to cross.

Driver: If he doesn’t exist, how is it that over 1000 people have seen him this month alone? What was that?

As the driver was crossing a bridge over the lake, a large item in the water crashed into the bridge. No visible damage was done, but it was enough to shake us up a little. As I turned around, I saw what I can only describe as a sea monster dipping beneath the surface of the water. I was stunned.

Me: Was that some kind of joke. We talked about Nessie and then I saw a sea monster go under the water.

They looked at me like I was crazy and continued their conversation.

Driver: Bigfoot, I can believe that he was spotted nearby. I’ve seen him about a year ago.

Passenger: You too! I got a picture of him. Some people believe that it was photoshopped. But I took it myself.

Driver: We need to exchange contact information. I can show you my pictures and you can show me yours.

Me: Right. You’ve both got pictures of Bigfoot. I guess that I’m going to see him coming…

At that point I saw what must have been a gorilla. But it didn’t look like one. I refused to say anything about it to these people. As I was speaking, it stopped and looked at me. Bigfoot. Really. First Nessie and now this. Surely somebody was playing a joke on me. The conversation continued.

Me: Ok. Which one of you have a picture of a UFO? Do any of you have a picture of an actual alien?

Passenger: Come on, man. Nobody believes in aliens.

Driver: No sane person.

Me: Oh! Aliens exist. They walk among us every day.

Again, they look at me like I’m the nut in the car. This made me laugh.

Me: I’m just messing with y’all. No! I’ve never seen an alien. I wouldn’t admit it if I had. Just like I wouldn’t admit if I’ve seen Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster.

At that time, not even I noticed the disk-shaped object descending from the clouds. I didn’t notice it until it was almost directly over the car. I’m the only one that noticed that the car was lifted into the air. I was wide awake, fully alert when we were extracted from the car. They were in some kind of trance. I watched helplessly as unknown devices were inserted into their bodies. What is up with aliens and anal probes?

They approached me but I took off running. It did me no good considering they had teleporters. Within the blink of an eye, I was back where I started. They promised they would not perform any experiments on me. They said that they already learned all they needed about Earth with the other 2. The location of their run-away pets. Bigfoot and Nessie.

We were returned to earth at the same time and place we were taken. I was the only one that noticed anything had happened.

Passenger: Don’t talk bad about Bigfoot and Nessie. Too many people have seen them. They exist. Aliens don’t.

Me: If you say so.

As I got out of the car, the conversation changed.

Driver: My cousin just recently took pictures of the Abominable Snowman.