Mother Talk

Becky came into the office where I was working and said, "I am so embarrassed but I have to tell someone. I didn't sleep much as my baby was up fussing during the night.'

"It turns out he had an upset stomach and at one point threw up a huge volcano of vomit. I grabbed what I thought was a burp clothe and wiped him up."

"It turned out to be my dirty socks that I had worn for a couple of days straight. Who has time to change clothes with a new baby?" The tears started and she finished with, "I'm always so careful with him and fearful that something bad is going to happen."

I wanted to laugh but how could I with Becky so distraught? I asked her if she thought of taking a semester off from school and she said, this is my last semester.

We went into the group then and it was the perfect group for Becky as Tiffany was there with her story of how upset her husband got when she let Jenny clip their baby's fingernails.

She said, "I didn't think anything of it as Jenny is a beautician who does nails in her job. Shawn knows that! It is just that he is a first-time daddy!"

Denise then said, "Well, I'm not a first-time mother and my son and daughter-in-law were so upset that I bathed Juliana all by myself when she was just a few weeks old. I thought that was the funniest thing, but they weren't laughing. They didn't leave her with me alone again after that for a long time."

"New parents! My baby was 10 pounds, six ounces, and didn't eat anything for his first year except breast milk and formula. I know they don't do that anymore as he is thirty-seven," said Karen. "Then his older sister started eating cereal immediately, and she would sleep through the night. She is forty. Things do change as do times. There are no expert parents!"

That day class went over and that was okay with me. It was clear that none of them were in any position to talk about statistics. But I started in and just then Sarah's baby started to cry. I went on as Sarah did her best to quiet her baby with a bottle.

As I was driving home I was thinking about what Karen said about times they are changing. Boy have they ever. So much drama and I thought it was just with younger teen moms. But some of these women in my class are in their mid to late 30s and have babies.

They have worked for many years and when they decided to go back to school, they were unaware of how tough it would be to have children at the same time. But with timeclocks ticking away, it was necessary if they were going to have babies, to have them now.

They need statistics for their doctoral degree. What I am wondering is if they will get what they need when we spend so much time with concerns about babies. Maybe their final paper and their final projects can have to do with babies?

I remember when I was working on my doctorate and went to a boring lecture we as a cohort decided to do research in the class. It was one of those crazy guys who said, "How about if as the professor is speaking every time he says something that reminds us of sex, we can tap a pencil."

Then one of my female classmates said, "And the females can each take a male and keep track of their taps!" We laughed and thought he would catch on sooner than he did. When he did catch on he needed a full explanation and wanted a paper on the topic and the research, complete with extra research. Darn it!