Miss Gloria Wins the Grand Prize

Check out Gloria’s latest adventure here:

Miss Gloria Wins the Grand Prize

“Okay Gloria, I’m leaving now. I folded the clothes for you and I put them away. I also made a sandwich for you. It's in the refrigerator.”

“Thank you, Debbie. I’m just gonna be lying in my bed resting my old bones. This hemorrhoid is really bothering me.”

“Do you need me to rub some ointment on it? I can do that before I leave.”

“No, no go ahea… Well maybe, yes. It’s stinging right now.”

“Okay, let me get some gloves on.” Debbie puts on the vinyl gloves and grabs the tube of Preparation H. “Okay, sweetie, roll on to your side. Let’s do this.”

“You take such good care of me, Debbie. You really are the best."

“I take care of you and all my clients the way I would take care of my own mom.”

“Yes, you do. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”

“Okay, hope you’re feeling better. I will see you tomorrow morning, sweetie.”

💰💰💰💰💰

Gloria got herself comfortable in her bed, her head propped up, ready to watch her favorite game show, The Price Is Right. She much preferred Bob Barker, but she wasn’t opposed to Drew Carey. She’d grown used to him. She even says “I love you” back to him when he closes the show with his classic “I love you” sign-off.

Right as the show started, her telephone rang.

“Ah, that dumb telephone. I’m not answering it.” But she answered it anyway, thinking it could possibly be her caseworker, a nurse, or any number of other potentially important callers.

“Hello,” Gloria answered in her sweet, high-pitched, 92-year-old voice.

“Hello, Gloria Cupidon?”

“How may I help you?” She avoided saying the word yes, as someone had told her that scammers could record it and use it to extort money from her.

“Congratulations, Gloria! You've been randomly selected as the winner of our grand prize! You've won a brand-new car and $25,000! To claim your prize, you just need to pay a small processing fee upfront."

Knowing this was a scam, Gloria decided to play along:

“Wonderful, how do I pay?”

"You can send the fee through a wire transfer or by purchasing gift cards and providing us with the card numbers. This needs to be done right away to ensure you receive your prize before the deadline."

“Well, that sounds expensive. How much is the fee?”

“$1,250, which is pennies compared to the prizes you will receive.”

“By all means, the $25,000 alone covers the fee and more.”

“Yes, it does, Gloria.”

“I only have $200 on hand. But I recently bought an $800 TV from Walmart. I’m going to take it back to Walmart and get my money back. And then I can borrow the rest of the money from a friend.” Gloria raised her voice up into her higher sweet granny pitch. “Can you call me back later, dear? I’m going to work on getting this money for you.”

Gloria chuckled after the guy hung up. She got a kick out of playing with him. After that bit of fun, Gloria’s attention was back on her television show.

“That’s $525, Drew,” Gloria yelled out to the television.

Before her show concluded, Gloria fell asleep comfortably on her bed.

💰💰💰💰💰

Two hours into her deep slumber, the ringing of her telephone woke her. She looked around for her phone but couldn’t find it. Finally, on the eighth ring, she found it under her pillow.

“Hello,” she said in her lighthearted tone.

“Hello, Miss Gloria, this is Marco. I spoke with you a few hours ago about the grand prize.”

“Hush, hush Marco,” Gloria said in a whispering voice. “I’m in line at Walmart returning this TV. I don’t want them to catch on to what we’re doing.”

“Oh yes,” Marco responded in a whisper.

Gloria continued whispering, “It’s a long line and it’s moving slow. Oh, uh.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Hush, hush. The man in front of me set his wallet down on the countertop. It looks like there’s a few hundred dollars in it. I’m going to steal it.”

“Gloria, do you really want to do that?”

“Why not? Have you never stolen anything in your life? Anyway, that's the only way I’m gonna get all the money I need for the processing fee.”

Gloria took a sip of her soda as she lowered the volume of her television.

“Okay, okay, I’ve got the wallet. It’s in my purse now. That was easy.”

“Oh, okay,” Marco nervously responded.

“Oh no, he’s looking for his wallet. I better leave before he figures it out.”

“What about the processing fee?”

“I can do that later.”

Gloria tried her best to stifle her chuckles.

“I’m in the infant wear department. Oh no, trouble. The police are coming my way. I’m gonna make a dash for it and get out of here.”

Marco hung up, and Gloria burst into full laughter as she watched Vanna White turn the letters on The Wheel of Fortune.

💰💰💰💰💰

Chucklingly with Love, RHC 🤣😆😜