I Might Be an NPC in This World

I’ve been thinking a lot lately… what if I’m not the main character?

No, seriously. What if I’m just an NPC? You know, one of those background characters in a game who walks around saying the same two phrases, wears the same clothes every day, and occasionally gets stuck walking into a wall?

At first, I brushed it off as just me being dramatic. But then the signs started adding up. And now, I’m pretty convinced I’m living life as a fully functional Non-Playable Character. Here’s the evidence:

1. My Face Feels Like a Rough 3D Render

This is self-roast territory, so handle with care but sometimes I catch my reflection and think, Did the devs rush my design at the last minute? It’s like my face was modeled in low-poly mode and never got the HD texture update.

It’s not that I hate how I look. I actually appreciate it now. But let’s just say… some angles give early PlayStation graphics. I’m not ugly, I’m aesthetic in a nostalgic way.

2. My Closet Screams Default Settings

Have you ever noticed how NPCs in games always wear the same few outfits? That’s me in real life. My wardrobe has a strong “copy and paste” energy. The same 3-4 T-shirts in slightly different colors, on heavy rotation.

Monday? Grey shirt. Tuesday? Slightly darker grey shirt. Saturday? Ooh, white shirt, switching it up! If someone created me in The Sims, they clearly didn’t unlock the “Style Expansion Pack.”

3. Forever a Participant, Rarely a Winner

Every time there’s a TikTok Live angpao giveaway or some “tap now to win” event, I’m there. I participate with full NPC optimism, believing this will be my moment. I tap, I swipe, I even manifest, and still, nada.

Meanwhile, the main characters are out there collecting bonus coins and prizes like it’s nothing. I’m just chilling in the background like, “Great job, hero!” while holding absolutely nothing.

4. My HP Is Tragic

One moment I’m just tying my shoelaces, the next I’m seeing stars and wondering if this is how I go. My health bar is permanently low. One minor action, climbing stairs, carrying groceries, or sneezing too hard, can trigger a full-body shutdown.

I’m not unfit. I’m just operating on NPC stamina. Respectfully, I need a patch update.

5. I Only Speak in Scripted Dialogues

You know when you bump into someone and say the same exact thing every time?

Neighbor: “Morning!”

Me: “Morning!”

End of transmission.

At work, it’s:

“Hi!”

“Hi!”

Then we both walk away as if our programming doesn’t allow for extra lines.

If someone tries to go off-script and actually talks about feelings? My internal system freezes and starts buffering. I wasn’t coded for deep conversations before 10 AM, sorry.

6. Monthly Financial Reset

Start of the month? Wallet full. Bank account happy. I’m making plans, living the dream, even ordering bubble tea without checking my balance.

End of the month? I’m Googling “how to cook rice with just salt” and canceling all plans that involve spending money. My finances reset like clockwork, just like how NPCs respawn after every server refresh. It’s the same cycle. Rinse. Repeat. Regret.

7. No Level Ups. Ever.

The worst part? I’ve been grinding at life’s missions. Full-time work, responsibilities, stress side quests and I’m still at the same level.

Year 1: Salary = 3000.

Year 2: Still 3000.

Year 3: Bonus? Haha, cute.

At this point, it feels like I’m stuck in “Tutorial Mode” while everyone else is unlocking achievements and evolving into cooler versions of themselves. I’m out here doing daily tasks like “Talk to Coworker” and “Send Email,” but the EXP bar hasn’t moved.

After collecting all this data (read: self-observations and dramatic overthinking), I’ve accepted the truth: I’m probably not the main character.

But you know what? That’s okay.

NPCs may not have flashy story arcs or fancy cutscenes, but we’re essential. We’re the reliable ones. We show up. We smile at strangers. We hand out side quests like “Try this new café” or “Text your friend back.”

We might not level up fast, win giveaways, or have energy bars that make sense but we’re still here, existing with vibes, running on caffeine, and occasionally glitching in public.

And honestly? I kinda love being the NPC. Just don’t expect me to say anything other than “Morning!” before 10 AM.