I’m Building a Time Machine… to Fix My 2020 Zoom Meetings

Let’s face it: 2020 broke all of us. We traded pants for pajamas, sanity for sourdough starters, and dignity for Zoom meetings where someone (me) accidentally turned themselves into a potato.

But I’ve found a solution: a time machine to rewrite history. Not for pandemics or politics—just to fix my “Oops, I Forgot to Mute” moments.

Join me. Virtual backgrounds optional (but strongly encouraged).

5 Reasons My Time Machine Beats Therapy

1. Unmute Mastery

2020 Me: “Can everyone hear me? HELLO?!” [Mic muted, screaming into void].

2024 Me: Pre-recorded voice saying, “Your audio is flawless. You’re welcome.”

2. No More “I’m Not a Cat” Moments

The time machine auto-blurs bad hair days and replaces “I’m a potato” filters with “I’m a Nobel laureate.”

3. Crisis Prevention

2020 Disaster: Kid bursts into room yelling, “MOM, THE DOG ATE MY LEGO!”

2024 Fix: Time machine replaces kids with AI-generated holograms of calm, silent mannequins.

4. Better Small Talk

Rewrites cringey “How’s quarantine?” chats into: “Let’s never speak of this again.”

5. No More “You’re on Mute” Trauma

Deletes the phrase from history. Humanity heals.

Hidden Message: We survived 2020 by laughing through the chaos. Let’s keep that energy.

My 3-Step Time Machine Blueprint (Sponsored by Duct Tape)

Step 1: Assemble the Machine (Using 2020 Relics)

Core Engine: A treadmill repurposed as a “productivity simulator” (it just collects dust).

Fuel: Regret + leftover hand sanitizer.

Interface: A dial labeled “2020” and “NOPE.”

Step 2: Target Key Zoom Disasters

Meeting 1: Rewrite my “I swear I’m wearing pants” lie to “I’m wearing pajamas. Judge me.”

Meeting 2: Auto-delete my coworker’s “This could’ve been an email” eye-roll.

Meeting 3: Replace my frozen screen with a pre-recorded loop of me nodding wisely.

Step 3: Profit (By Erasing Embarrassment)

New Revenue Stream: Charge $9.99/month to erase others’ “Oops, I screenshared my Netflix” moments.

Side Hustle: Sell “2020 Apology Cards” (“Sorry I ghosted you for Tiger King. Here’s a time machine coupon.”).

But Wait—What About Real Time Travel?

Look, I’m not saying we should alter the space-time continuum. But 2020 taught us:

Imperfection is okay: We all looked like potatoes sometimes.

Laughter > perfection: The best Zoom calls ended in chaos anyway.

Never trust technology: Or cats walking across keyboards.

Join the Time Machine Rebellion

Ready to erase your pandemic cringe? Here’s your starter kit:

Dig out your old webcam (or bury it forever).

Tag someone who still hasn’t forgiven you for that unmute disaster.

Share this plan with your worst Zoom enemy (so they can fix their own "I’m not a cat" moments… or stay cursed forever).

Together, we’ll rewrite history… or at least die laughing.

Thanks for reading! Remember: If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that life’s too short for pants… and taking ourselves seriously. Stay weird!

If this time machine idea made you laugh (or cry from 2020 flashbacks), help me erase cringe forever: give this story a like, share your most embarrassing Zoom fail in the comments, and pass it to anyone who still owes you an apology for that unmute disaster. Let’s make 2025 the year we laugh at 2020… instead of crying!

Pop over to my Ko-fi page at Ko-fi and toss me a tip — it’s super easy, instant, and helps me keep the snack stash stocked for more crazy ideas. No pressure, just good vibes — let’s keep the creative joy flowing together!

Disclosure: This article was written with AI assistance, but the trauma of being a Zoom potato? Sadly, all mine.