How Writing a Poem About Having Nothing to Say Gave Me Something to Say

I’ve been feeling a bit rough lately. Maybe it’s because I’m still recovering from Toddler Illness Month at our house, maybe it’s because I had more than my usual two glasses of wine the other night, or maybe it’s just because I’m human and I’m allowed to feel rundown every now and then.

I struggled to write for a few days. I’d sit hunched in front of my computer, and nothing would come except a hazy fog of mushy thoughts. I’d eventually write something, then read it back to myself, and to my tired, judgemental brain, everything sounded terrible.

I was getting frustrated. I find joy in writing, and I wasn’t writing because I wasn’t feeling any joy, and I wasn’t feeling any joy because I wasn’t writing.

Then, in a moment of desperation, I wrote a poem about the fact that I had nothing to say. I was having major withdrawals from not hitting that “Submit for Review” button. I just had to do something.

So, fingers mashing the keyboard manically, I wrote a bunch of utter garbage. You can read it here, but honestly, don’t waste your time!

I just wasn’t prepared for the next 24 hours of hilarity that ensued.

Someone commented on my poem quite quickly, but still with enough time that they may have actually read it… though I’m guessing probably not.

Their thoughtfully crafted comment was:

“Very informative.”

I’m sure you took my warning not to read the poem, so let me catch you up with one of the verses from my carelessly thrown-together piece:

☕☕☕

Insert something here about

not being able to think

of the right words.

☕☕☕

Yes, with verses like that, I can see how they gained a wealth of information from my poem.

I was feeling whimsical, so I thought, why not? I’d share my poem with the world. That was when I got this life-changing offer to connect with someone about “my book.”

Yep, my imaginary book is once more gaining popularity.

By this point, I figured I had nothing left to lose, so I posted yet another sarcastic update on Facebook about my experiences.

I decided to call it a day and went to bed thinking that was the end of it.

The next morning, I woke to a frantic comment from one of my good friends, who really should know better. He was asking me to slow down, saying I was being scammed, and to call him immediately.

I quickly replied, putting his mind at ease, letting him know I was well aware that I was being scammed, because once again, I’VE NEVER WRITTEN A BOOK!

What followed were two more comments with advice on book marketing.

One might have been a joke. I’m not sure. They must have gone to the same lecture as me: How to Tell Jokes That People Take Seriously 101.

The second was from the same friend who was worried I was being scammed. Turns out he’s written a book, and surprise, surprise, he knows a good book marketer.

At the end of the day, I got what I wanted. I posted the poem because I was craving some writing attention, and I can’t say I wasn’t seen.

And all this has got me thinking… maybe I should write a book. 😛

I’m kidding. That was a joke! I wanted it to be my closing line, but since no one gets my jokes, this is now my closing line.