AH! PHOBIAS! YA GOTTA LOVE THEM!

AH! PHOBIAS! YA GOTTA LOVE THEM!

Phobias and the Walking Dead

Here are a few things that I’d prefer to avoid – if possible.

LIGHTNING

Okay, I just heard thunder. That means lightning isn't far away.

If I wasn’t so intent on doing other things, I probably would have seen the lightning first since light travels faster than sound but, well, I just wasn’t looking for it. I will, though. I love watching the lighting. And oh! How I admire those photographers who will sit out in a storm to capture that magnificent photo of lightning. Unfortunately for me, while I love looking at those highly electrified bolts as they light up the sky, there is NO WAY I’m going outside with my camera just to see if I’m lucky enough to get that image on my SD card. I may be fascinated but, yes, lightning scares the heck out of me.

I’ve never been even close to a lightning strike and don’t intend to start now.

HEIGHTS

Maybe I should rephrase this. It isn’t so much the heights that scare me. It’s the falling from them and will often freeze me in place.

When my sons were much younger (I’m talking about their ages being about seven and nine), being a single mom, I often found myself scurrying around trying to get things done. Talk about multitasking!! All too often, when we’d leave the house for whatever reason, I realized that I’d locked the door with my keys INSIDE!! And before you ask, no I never left a spare under a rock or a planter, or anywhere, for that matter that might make my life easier.

I did, however, leave one window open at the back of the house. We lived in a one-story ranch-style house, so the windows weren’t very high – only about 6-feet from the ground. Yet, the simple task of climbing a ladder terrified me.

Ah! How did I get in to retrieve my keys? I had my sons climb the ladder. Being rambunctious boys, they were also fearless. I wasn’t. I’m still afraid of heights and probably always will be.

TUNNELS

I really need to stop watching thriller movies where people are driving through tunnels and the structure collapses. That could possibly be because I never learned how to swim and yes, I’m terrified of drowning. Last time I looked in the mirror, I didn’t even remotely resemble a fish!

Both my sons can swim; I made sure of that when they were preteens. I didn’t want to inflict them with my own fear but even in a backyard pool, the only time you’ll find me in the deep end, is when I’m close enough to the side of the pool so I can grab it should I feel like I’m about to go under.

That’s why, I try to avoid tunnels any time I travel and when I do travel, whoever is with me accepts the responsibility of driving through the tunnel. How I wish I could drive through the tunnels with my eyes closed. Now THAT would solve a lot of problems – well except for the fact that I would probably crash. That wouldn’t be any good, now would it?

So what do I do when I’m being chauffeured through this hideous underwater thing that might spring a leak? I read until we’re out and on safer ground. Will I ever get over this fear? At my age now, probably not but hey, as long as I have someone (like my husband) who’s able and willing to drive through these tubes, I always make sure I have a book to read – just in case.

NOT BREATHING

Okay, so no one wants to face a situation where they can’t breathe. That’s just human nature but most of us never think about it. We just breathe. Our brains tell us to inhale and exhale.

But, there are too many of us who for whatever reason, spent time on a ventilator. I won’t ask you to stand up and raise your hands but, currently, I sat a bit straighter and raised mine.

I won’t go into the boring details, but it was just a horrible reaction to the anesthesia administered during a surgical procedure more than forty years ago. To this day, my brain won’t allow me to “get over it.” Hmph! Maybe that’s why I can’t swim!

My fear of not being able to breathe goes beyond drowning, though. We watched a movie where the heroine had the intuition to know who and how someone was going to die. She dreamed she saw her own death. Towards the end of the movie, her fears came true, and she was suffocating. I had to leave the room – I began to hyperventilate.

The movie was not a true story, but my hyperventilating was real enough.

Same thing happened when we watched the Poseidon movie and all those survivors had to swim underwater. Again, I had to leave the room.

Yet, I have watched those movies more than once but still lower my eyes during the scenes that cause me to hyperventilate. Why? Because I have that knowledge of knowing what it’s like to not breathe and I really, REALLY do like breathing.

Don’t misunderstand me. Death doesn’t frighten me. I know I’ll just close my eyes and my brain will do the rest. It’s how I get there that, if I think about it, bothers me. In fact, my husband and I were watching a movie the other night we started talking about burials.

“I don’t want to be put in the ground”, I said and continued with, “What if there’s a flood? I could drown.”

He looked at me strangely. “Oh yeah, I’d already be dead, wouldn’t I? You know, maybe I’ll just be cremated.”

He didn’t say a word.

“Oh crap! Can’t do that. I’m terrified of burning. Oh wait, I’ll be dead already! Oh crap. What’s a body to do with a body when the body doesn’t even know what to do with itself?”

My husband never said a word but stood, walked into the kitchen and came back with two bowls of ice cream.”

“Do me a favor?” he asked,

“What’s that?” I asked in return.

“Stop thinking! You’re driving me crazy!”

Then my brain’s lightbulb illuminated with an idea.

“How about this? When I die, have my body placed in a very high vault. That should cover all bases.”

He sat down, never saying a word but shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth and got back to watching his movie, The Walking Dead.

“Oh crap! Here we go again.”