27 of the Most Savage Insults in History

A good burn is fairly memorable. A great burn by a famous person is rarely forgettable. This list has been compiled to share with you some of the most ruthless insults made by some of the most influential public figures, historical icons, and brilliant minds.

It’s obvious that Mark Twain was not only a literary genius, but a master heckler as well.

William Faulkner about Ernest Hemingway

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

Hemingway about Faulkner

“Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

William Shakespeare

“The tautness of his face sours ripe grapes.”

Joan Rivers

“Prince Charles’ ears are so big, he could hang-glide over the Falklands!”

Winston Churchill to Lady Astor when she called him “disgustingly drunk”

“My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly."

Margaret Thatcher

“If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.”

Mark Twain

“I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.”

Charlotte Whitton

“Whatever woman must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”

Conan O’Brien

“Sarah Palin met with world leaders to showcase her foreign policy expertise. The meeting lasted 90 seconds.”

Groucho Marx

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

Mark Twain

“Every time I read Pride and Prejudice, I want to dig Jane Austen up and hit her over the skull with her own shinbone.”

John Adams

“In my many years, I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.”

Winston Churchill

“Americans will always try to do the right thing — after they’ve tried everything else.”

James Reston about Richard Nixon

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebearers, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”

Tom Clancy on Bill Clinton

“Bill Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.”

Mae West

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

King Edward VIII

“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”

Jon Stewart

“I don’t approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.”

Elizabeth Taylor

“Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.”

Muhammad Ali

“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, then they can make something out of you.”

Mark Twain

“One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain’t nothing can beat teamwork.”

Abraham Lincoln

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I ever met.”

H.L Mencken on Franklin Roosevelt

“If he became convinced tomorrow that coming out for cannibalism would get him the votes he needs so sorely, he would begin fattening a missionary in the White House yard come Wednesday.”

Barack Obama on Donald Trump

“There’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable, and that’s closing Guantánamo. Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.”

Roseanne Barr referring to her ex-husband Tom Arnold

“We were trying to get pregnant, but I forgot one of us had to have a penis.”

Kurt Vonnegut

“If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.”

Oscar Wilde

“Thinking is the most unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any other disease. Fortunately, in England at any rate, thought is not catching.”

The Bible refers to the tongue as sharper than a two-edged sword, which is no doubt true. It’s only natural to assume that those who acquire fame due to the favorable way that they use their words can also use them to squelch the voices of those they don’t find pleasing.

We are often taught “If you can’t say anything nice, just don’t say anything at all”. However, sometimes things just need to be said, opinions need to be given, and the more eloquently, the better.

***Story previously published on Medium.com by the author***