Yesterday a celebrity did something

Yesterday afternoon a celebrity did something! I don’t need to specify the exact time, because (believe it or not!) it’s pretty much guaranteed that celebrities are doing things all the time and every day.

Just like you and me and everybody else, only way more interesting and important and controversial.

So surely, you can understand that when it came to light that yesterday a celebrity had done something, fan reactions were intense and intensely varied.

Some people were quick to condemn the celebrity who did the thing.

They took to Internet forums to boldly, anonymously criticize famous people who they don’t personally know or understand.

Others rallied their support for famous people they don’t know or understand. These fierce defenders took to social media to defend the celebrity and celebrate what they did.

What higher honor could you or I or any other peasant ever hope to attain? To play apologist for celebrities who don’t give a fuck about us— that— is the greatest, noblest pursuit of our meager lives.

And so many understand and internally dedicate themselves to this heroic goal.

It’s truly inspiring to see how many people pour their souls into the relentless fascination with and obsession over the lives of our beloved celebrities.

These are the folks who buy the tabloids, and watch the entertainment news— more importantly these are the people who flood our senses with sensational headlines, articles, sound bites, and opinion pieces about people we’ll never meet, or interact with in any tangible way.

And we should be thankful for this hyper fixation on celebrities and their lives. This cultural awareness is a wealth of entertainment and vicarious obsession.

We are truly blessed to live in a world where we can access an overwhelming depth of biographical information pertaining to our ordained heroes.

It’s so inspiring to live in a world that permits us the joyful ability to pour over endless intimate details of any chosen celebrities.

In fact you should flex that uplifting ability right now!

Choose your favorite celebrity— then type them up on your favorite search engine!

You can see their height and weight, and maybe even some inticing details about their love life!

Maybe you’ll read about a divorce or an infidelity or some other scandal— it’s so wholesome!

You can dissect their entire life and pour over details that even a close friend wouldn’t know or care about!

An absolute abundance of personal information…. It’s a modern miracle!

That’s what’s enabled us— the obsessed and hungry public— to digest every juicy detail of yesterday’s shocking events!

And still, considering what that celebrity did yesterday, nobody really knows what will happen next, or how this will play out for the celebrity who did the thing.

Of course most people are perfectly attending to their civic duty by psychoanalyzing the celebrity, and making brave inferences about the celebrity’s motivations and purposes.

And I’m incredibly thankful that so many people have happily/angrily fixated on what that celebrity did. But sadly, a few pathetic weirdos weren’t good or compassionate enough to care that a celebrity did something.

What kind of human refuses to spend their focus and energy on celebrities doing things?

It’s truly disgusting that some people are so unbothered and ignorant when it comes to the minutiae of the lives of wealthy idols. How could anyone act like the actions of a celebrity are irrelevant or meaningless in their personal lives!?

Honestly it’s just rude. Its profoundly selfish for people to focus on themselves and their loved ones, when there are celebrities doing things.

It really, truly hurts to acknowledge the fact that some people just don’t care about that.

Why can’t we all just fixate and worship a little harder?

It’s only right.

Whether it’s a scandal, an achievement, or inane bullshit: please pay attention to celebrities especially when they (and their actions) have nothing at all to do with you.

Is it to much to ask for you to simply care?

You can prove how much you care by uploading a reaction video to what the celebrity did yesterday.

If you’re too lazy, scared, or selfish to prove that you have a healthy obsession with celebrity gossip then you and I are clearly never going to be friends.

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DoNt FoRgEt To LiKe AnD sUbScRiBe if you want the juicy details about what that celebrity does tomorrow!