With a little help

To whoever find this Moleskine

I never had kids. I was an only child. It was just me and my Mom and Dad. My Mom died when I was 12 in a car accident. Some jerk was texting on his phone and plowed right into her. She died instantly. I remember the police asked to check his phone to confirm the time of the message. They told my Dad the message he sent was “LOL”. Someone sent him a picture and he wrote “LOL” and it cost me my mother. My dad died three years later from pancreatic cancer. It was both a slow and a fast death and it left me all alone. For years I would walk around after that always wanting to tell people I had lost both my parents. As if it was part of an instruction manual they needed before they got to know me. As if it would explain to them how I worked, or at least why I was the way that I was. Which was a bit of an asshole if I’m honest. My life hasn’t been filled with many Hallmark created moments as a teacher once said. I never took the time to invest in things, or people. And that’s probably why I’m all alone right now. Sick, and alone. Just how I always thought I would end up. I manifested my own ending. Anyway, I figured I’ve been a jerk to all those who may have once cared for me. My ex-wife, Lily for one. Yeah, who knows how I ended up convincing someone to marry me but stranger things have happened. It didn’t last long anyway. She left me, as she should have. And Dan, from work. He was always nice and patient with me. I wore that relationship away too when I accidentally deleted a bunch of clients’ files. That poor guy was always nice to me, and I probably cost him half his business. Anyway, this, this right here is $20,000 from my Savings account. As I don’t have anyone to give it to, and I’ll be damned if the government gets it, I’m sending it out into the universe. I want to try and do some good. So, please, whoever finds this book, in the back is a check. Please, take what you need from it, and then send what’s left and this book back out. Hopefully we can do some good for some people who really need it. Or maybe it’ll just get stolen and used for drugs. But it would be nice to think that this, the only money I’ve managed to save in forty-three years, could go somewhere good. Could help someone. Who knows.

- J

Dear J

Well, where do I start? Straight off the bat, you have helped someone. Not me. Well, me and not me at the same time. My sister. She’s had a tough time and the last year, she’s sought of fallen off the rails, so to speak. She’s gone and become an alcoholic and it’s become so bad, her husband has left her and taken the kids. I mean, not without some serious patience and suffering on his side. She’s beyond our help. You know, drinking when she wakes up, passing out at night, I mean she takes a glass of wine into the bloody shower. Anyway, she is beyond my help, so I have taken $6,000 from the check in this book and used it for the rehab deposit. I know that’s a hefty chunk, but, I thought about it and it kind of felt like the universe was looking after her. I don’t know if I can ever thank you for giving me, my sister and perhaps the people after me this kind of assistance, or if you will ever even know that your money did this. But I wanted to thank you. And know that I promise that I will one day pass this on. One day, when I can, I will send something out into the universe to help people, just like you did. Thank you.

- CN

YO

DAMN YOU ALL I THOUGHT I WON THE JACKPOT YOU KNOW MY FAMILY NEVER SEEN MONEY LIKE THIS WON’T EVER SEE MONEY LIKE THIS AND I WAS BOUT TO GO TELL THEM WE WERE OK COS I FOUND THIS MONEY AND THEN I START READING ALL THESE NOTES IN HERE FROM THAT LADY WITH THE DRUNK SISTER AND YOU MAN WITH YOUR MA AND PA AND ALL THAT WELL NOW I TOOK $2500 AND PAID MY LIL BROS BAIL MONEY COS MAN HE DESERVES A CHANCE AND I DONT WANT HIM STAYIN IN JAIL ALONE HES JUST A KID AND HE DESERVES BETTER AND I PUT $1000 TOWARDS A LAWYER TO HELP HIM OUT I APPRECIATE THE CHANCE I GOT TO DO THAT FROM THIS LITTLE BOOK BUT DAMN WHAT I COULD DO WITH THAT MONEY BUT I GUESS THIS IS BIG IT HELPED MY BRO YOU KNOW AND THAT’S WHAT COUNTS SO USE THIS WISELY COS IM ALREADY WISHIN I WASNT PASSING THIS CHECK ALONG ALRIGHT LATE FOR MY SHIFT GOT A JOB TO PAY THE REST OF THOSE LAWYER FEES PEACE

K

K

Thank you for passing this along. I hope the new job works out and that your brother is able to get a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. I have already had mine. And a third. I found this book in the Mainly Moon Diner on 5th street when I finished work. It’s the first time I have eaten out in a very long time. Normally I go straight from home to work and back again. I order groceries online and go out as little as needed. I have Excoriation Disorder which means I pick at my skin. When I’m stressed or emotional it gets worse. Sometimes I pick until my skin bleeds. Sometimes it scabs. Sometimes it scars. I have to try and hide the fact that I have picked at myself, with either make up, or accessories. But people can tell. They try to talk to me as if they haven’t noticed but I can tell they see the marks. They don’t know exactly what it is. Maybe they think I’m sick. Maybe they think I have a contagious disease. I don’t have many friends. People either stay away or I push them away. Anyway, I took $3000 to buy myself therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be pricey, but I’m hoping this will help me. I am hoping this will allow me to actually start living, as opposed to pretending that I am living through other people. Wish me luck!

My name is T and my English is not good but I find book and I take money for rent. I lost job and we almost lose home but the money, it is good, it help me and my son and we send it out again. Thank you. I thank you.

T

Good luck with finding a new job. I know it can be a scary moment, especially when you have children and you don’t know if you can make the payments. J – I think you did something quite amazing with this and I hope, wherever you are, that on some level, you can understand what this may have done for some people. It is easy in our day to day living to forget what troubles the person next to us may be facing. What hardships people battle every single day. And all the people who wrote in this book; you all took what you needed and passed it along when you could have just taken it all. That inspires me. I’m passing this on to a newspaper, hoping that they can get the world out about this. Who knows, maybe it will inspire others to do similar acts. But I really hope that you will hear about this J, and know that your Mother and Father would have been proud of how you helped others.

S