Why the Enneagram

If you’ve ever met me, you’d know that I am always fascinated with personality tests, or rather categorizing people neatly in my head. Eventually I had gone through the obsession of Myers-Briggs 16 Personalities Test, though I’m not sure exactly how. As far back as Grade 8, I remember telling my friends what type or combination of letters I thought they were and then invited them to take the test themselves. I had used them with EVERYONE: my friends, family, and love interests (often to everyone’s annoyance), but for me it was the best because I thought that personality tests were a great way to make reality seem a little bit more clearer, a little bit less scary.

But sometimes, taking personality tests was not that “clear”. I would feel frustrated if I got different results, as I often did, and feel cheated by these systems, hoping that I could fully trust it, fully use it to shape the world around me.

This happened with the Myers-Briggs test; I would always get different results. I would most often get INTJ or ISFJ with some odd inconsistent variations. I knew for sure that I was an introvert and that I leaned towards the "judging" function, but whether I was sensing or intuition, feeling or thinking, I had no idea. Just to clarify, today I consider myself the ISFJ or "The Defender". It was frustrating to not have mine or really other’s personalities clear in my head.

But then one day a close friend of mine showed me the Enneagram. And like the 16 Personality’s test, it took a while for me to type myself as well. My friend, who is an Enneagram 1 by the way, who was more advanced in the Enneagram at the time, kept typing me as a 2 "The Helper" because I loved to help people out. But the thing was, I wasn't fully relating to it. I couldn't quite seem to pinpoint it. I tried to take a few more of the tests but again, I still kept getting different answers.

Then I stumbled upon the different "fears" of all the numbers. And the fears are what really helped me unlock not just myself as an Enneagram 6 (spoilers!) but helped me better understand others as well. You see, the Myers-Briggs’ test looked at the surface level elements like introversion/extraversion, how you process information (sensing/intuition), etc., but the Enneagram actually defined people not by how they acted, but WHY they acted the way they did. It identified the core of who they were and what they wanted or wanted to avoid in the world.

And finally my usually hyper-anxious brain was satisfied with this discovery of understand the depths of myself and helped me better understand and relate to my friends and family, instead of just sticking a label on them (which can be done with the Enneagram, but I really try not to because it’s more focussed on self-discovery and growth compared to the Myers-Briggs - not trying to diss the 16 Personalities test either, just so we’re clear. I love them both!).

So, here are the 9 different fears or passions as I’ve heard it said of the Enneagram types:

Type 1: being corrupt or evil

Type 2: being unloved

Type 3: being worthless

Type 4: being without identity or not unique

Type 5: being useless, helpless, or incompetent

Type 6: being without support or direction

Type 7: being deprived or in pain

Type 8: being controlled or harmed by others

Type 9: having loss or separation

So I fear being without support or direction, or I've heard other descriptions say that 6's fear "fear" itself. And when I read that, I immediately resonated with it. I was a pretty anxious person, strived for affirmation and reassurance from others, and was constantly asking myself "what do I do?" or "am I doing this right?" I asked a lot of questions, just to have that extra bit of reassurance before I went and did something; to know that I had people's support backing my every action.

And that's how I figured out I was an Enneagram 6.

I hope you too find peace and satisfaction in your own unique journey of self-discovery, self-love, and self-acceptance.

Bibliography:

Storm, Susan, and Herban Oasis. “Here's What You Fear, Based on Your Enneagram Type.” Psychology Junkie, 17 Oct. 2019, www.psychologyjunkie.com/2018/10/04/heres-what-you-fear-based-on-your-enneagram-type/.