Why I Quit Sunday School

Now that I'm over halfway through my life and full of Yoda-like wisdom, I realise that my values have frequently been shaped by those poignant moments in childhood that I would rather forget. This particular incident likely turned me towards atheism …

I used to love Sunday School in Ireland as a boy. While I didn’t much care for the religious sermons yelled out by the Presbyterian minister (we were all going to hell!), what I did love was singing hymns at the top of my lungs and doing arts and crafts. It was fun (which is what childhood should be all about!)

One year, there was a church open night when the parents were invited to to view all the artwork done by the children. I had spent weeks creating a clay model of a tortoise in a rockery garden, then painted it in lots of lovely colours (we’ve all seen a blue tortoise shell right?)

I can still remember walking to the church in my Sunday best, holding my Mum and Dad’s hands and thinking how proud they would be when they saw my lovely blue Tortoise!

When we arrived in the church hall, all the other kid's parents were cooing over their children's artwork. It was such a nice atmosphere and I couldn’t wait to show mine off too. But for some reason I couldn’t see it on the shelf.

The church minister came over to say hello and I told him I couldn’t find my tortoise. He looked at me and ‘giggled’ a bit for some reason, then lead us all over to the display table.

‘Ah yes, this is yours Simon. What a great job he’s done parents. A fine work of art.’

But it wasn’t mine!

I told my parents and they said I must be mistaken. I mean, how could I possibly be mistaken! My tortoise had a beautiful blue shell, but this one was brown and looked as though it had come from an art shop window!

But when they turned it over, my name had been clearly signed on the base. Not my writing either. A forgery!

At this point I realised what was happening and can honestly still remember my feeling of disgust to this day. The minister had obviously decided my blue tortoise was not worthy to sit beside all the other artwork and replaced it.

Even at a young age, I could see how wrong this was. I was made to feel ashamed of my blue tortoise while being humiliated in front of my parents. For the rest of the evening, I tried to put on a brave face, but I was devastated. My parents were so happy with the imposter tortoise, that I didn’t have the heart to pursue the truth any further.

I had been oppressed by the church!

So the following week when it was time for Sunday school, I cried my eyes out and told my Mum I didn’t want to go back any more. She couldn’t understand why, but she was a very caring mother and didn’t force me to go any more.

I believe it is moments like this, that really shape who we are as adults. This was one of many childhood incidents, that has created a lack of trust between myself and other human beings over the years. Next time, I may write about the teacher that threatened to hang me by the legs from a third floor window when I was seven years old! It's lucky I have a good therapist.

As for the Church. I never went back.

Originally published at https://medium.com/never-stop-writing/why-i-quit-sunday-school-d722273ea86c