Why Do You Imitate the Behavior of Those Who Live With You if You Condemn Them?

All people tend to imitate those around them, especially the people they live with constantly. This happens not only because they observe what they do and end up repeating the same things, but because they inherit similar characteristics in their psyche.

Other people in our dreams represent parts of our personality precisely because we inherit these characteristics.

We live surrounded by those who look like us because there is a plan in our life so that we can avoid repeating the same mistakes and transform our personality in a positive way, as Carl Jung observed after researching this issue.

Two Examples

I cannot tell you the story of each of my patients in detail because each one's psychotherapy is a private matter. That's why I'm just going to mention a few details to show you through real examples how imitating the behavior of others works, even if we condemn them.

For example, one of my patients was always complaining about her brother's behavior because he only thought about having fun and didn't care about the family's problems or about helping his parents. She thought he was irresponsible.

However, after analyzing her case, I found that she behaved like a child in her private life. Although she was responsible and behaved like an adult with her family and at her job when she dated a boy she behaved as if she were a girl and not a grown woman.

That's why all the boyfriends she's ever had have been immature. She complained about that too, not understanding that she attracted immature men because she was immature.

Therefore, she behaved irresponsibly (like her brother) in her love life, while taking care of all other obligations like an adult.

Likewise, a patient dreamed constantly of one of his colleagues whom he very much detested and condemned. He thought that his colleague talked too much and meddled in matters that were none of his business.

Although this patient did not demonstrate the same behavior in any aspect of his private life, over time I noticed that he sent me many messages only to discuss with me various issues that were not part of the therapy. I talked to him like a friend, without complaining about it because I liked him.

However, this attitude of his was somewhat similar to the attitude of his colleague, although it didn't irritate me as he was irritated with the colleague he had.

Later I found out that he tended to behave in the same way with other people as well since every patient who sends me his dreams for me to translate needs to also tell me what goes on with them in their daily life in addition to telling me their biographical data.

Therefore, it was clear that he also behaved like the condemning colleague with these people he lived with, albeit in other fields and not in an offensive way as his colleague did.

Therefore, do not be cruel to people whose behavior you dislike, and do not think that you are very different from them.

Instead of condemning them, try to understand at what point in your life you imitate their behavior, now that you can understand the relationship between the way you behave and the behavior of others.

The Ideal Solution

It would be better if you learned to translate your dreams with Carl Jung's method so that the unconscious mind that produces dreams can show you at what point you imitate the behavior of those you condemn and what you must do to change your attitude.

If this is not possible, try to understand in what aspect of your life you behave like those you condemn, and try to change your attitude after realizing that you are also wrong.

Fighting Your Ego

Your ego doesn't admit that you are wrong and even less that you look like the people you condemn. However, you must fight your ego and recognize your mistakes to change your attitude and only do what is positive for you and those around you.

This is not easy, but you must evolve.

You will eventually understand why certain people are aggressive towards you and stop judging them to be rude by recognizing that your behavior towards them is actually responsible for the negative reaction they have.

In the same way, you will understand how you can make indifferent people collaborate with you.

You will see that your attitude is more than very important in your social environment and that your kindness can surely turn enemies into friends.