Why do women cheat? 6 facts no one will tell you

It’s still a widely held stereotype that men cheat more often than women. But they are not as innocent as we previously thought because women want sex too. Good sex. While they prefer to enjoy it with their partner, that doesn’t mean they cheat any less than we men.

Here are the most common reasons for both women and men to cheat:

Why do women cheat?

Why do women cheat?

Infidelities by women are increasing, as noted by marriage counselor Ashley Grinonneau-Denton from Cleveland, Ohio: “When women feel emotionally unsupported, unadmired, or unable to have fun with their partner, or when the partnership is no longer top priority, this can lead to affairs.” More and more women are working and holding higher positions.

Consequently, their desires and expectations in a sexual relationship are changing.

According to the expert, women primarily long for a man who is stronger, more understanding, and more successful in their career than their current partner.

Women seek something emotional in their affairs that they don’t experience in their relationships.

But what else drives women to cheat?

1. We were like roommates

For Carla* (29), sexual dissatisfaction and boredom were responsible for her affair: she had been in a relationship for a long time. “We lived together for three years.

Eventually, we became more like roommates.” They stopped having sex, and their visions of a shared future were completely different.

Eventually, she had something with a colleague at a bar. They met more often but never had sex. Nevertheless, she felt guilty and broke up with her boyfriend. He never found out.

2. I couldn’t express myself sexually

Elena* (31) also reports that despite being in a relationship for 2 years, she only saw her boyfriend as a second sexual partner. She felt she couldn’t express herself sexually with him, couldn’t connect with him.

For her, it was a one-time thing with a colleague. “It was exciting. I felt sexy again. It was only that one time, it felt unreal.” And it even revived the sex life with her boyfriend.

She regained her confidence and could try new things. She never told her boyfriend because she didn’t want to hurt him. The relationship ended a few years later for other reasons.

3. He couldn’t handle alcohol

Henriette’s* (36) boyfriend had an alcohol problem. “He became vulgar to me when he was drunk.” Even if he apologized the next day, his behavior didn’t change.

Eventually, she had enough and went alone to a bar one evening, where she caught the eye of a handsome businessman. She knew what he wanted, but she enjoyed the conversation on equal terms.

The evening ended in his room, where they did everything except have sex. After telling her boyfriend, the relationship was over.

4. I carried all the responsibility

For Petra* (59), it was similar. She didn’t want to have all the responsibility anymore. She had been married for 25 years and was the sole breadwinner of the family. “My husband had a very destructive nature.” They disagreed on parenting, and she didn’t want to pay for everything anymore.

Eventually, she had enough. “On a business trip, I met a man at the airport bar and screwed him in the bathroom.” Seven years later, she divorced due to dissatisfaction.

5. How could I refuse?

Nadine* (30) entered a new relationship after her breakup. She was unhappy and didn’t want a new commitment, but did it out of security. At a conference abroad, an attractive model showed interest in her.

She saw it as an opportunity. “We had a night of unimaginably good sex for 5 hours.

It was a magical night.” She confessed it to her boyfriend in the end, and they stayed together. Even when she was abroad again, she still met with the model a few times.

6. It wasn’t the relationship I wanted

Paula* (28) was with a man for two years. Both were still young, around mid-20s, and knew it would either lead to marriage or an end soon. Paula wasn’t ready for either and suggested an open relationship.

However, she realized she didn’t want such a relationship. “Normally, what I did wouldn’t count as cheating according to our agreement, except that I slept with his best friend.”

How to prevent cheating

Flipping through the entire Kama Sutra every day and inviting her to dinner at least once a week? While these might score points initially, the actual solution to the problem is closer than you think: consider her needs.

Talk about sexual desires as specifically and openly as possible so that sex doesn’t become routine and ultimately frustrating, advises psychotherapist Ragnar Beer from the University of Göttingen.

Beer has been conducting a long-term study on couples for 20 years, researching their relationships and problems. His current results show that men and women in relationships communicate less and less adequately.

This article was originally posted on https://medium.com