Why are the men around you not good enough? There are 4 places for women to think about

This reflects many psychological rules, among which the law of similarity and the law of complementarity in interpersonal communication play a great role.

For example: Tiantian is a successful white-collar worker in a small city, with excellent education, generous salary, and good family conditions.

But her emotional road has not been very smooth. Whether it is a boyfriend she knows or a boyfriend introduced by friends and family, it is always not enough to satisfy her.

Either the two people are not well educated and have no common topics, or they have good conditions in all aspects but they are always in trouble. There are also very high-quality men, but most of them already have families or are too far from their own social class. .

This made Tiantian very distressed, seeing that she was about to turn 30 and still had no suitable partner.

In fact, this is also a situation that many people will encounter: the bad ones don’t look good, the too high-quality ones are not in their own social circle, and they are not good enough at all.

In fact, it is normal to occasionally meet not-so-quality boys, but there are certain problems with only the opposite sex who are worse than you. Therefore, in love, women need to understand these 4 points.

1. There may be problems in making friends Some people like to associate with people who are not as good as themselves to find a sense of existence.

It is normal for us to have people of different levels around us, but all the people we meet are not of high quality, which reflects from the side that there are certain problems in our communication methods.

For example, whether the social circle is too narrow, whether the type of friendship is too single, or whether the direction of our friendship is deviated.

According to statistics from psychologists, most of the initial establishment of couple relationships in modern cities starts from social circles, some start from friends, and some start further relationships through the introduction of friends.

Therefore, the quality of our social circle directly affects the probability of whether we can be with quality boys.

If all the friends around us are inferior to us, then it will be difficult to break through this circle and find the high-quality boys we like.

2. The intuitive influence of personality factors The Japanese movie "The Life of the Disgusted Matsuko" is a movie I like very much. The heroine Matsuko was originally an elementary school teacher, but she made some mistakes because of her personality and was dismissed from the school. His father had a conflict and finally ran away from home.

After running away, Matsuko met five men, but none of them found her happiness. These five men either abused her domestically, took advantage of her, or went to the underworld to live a messy life.

Songzi gradually went from a gentle and bright teacher to a depraved and desolate life path.

Matsuko is very serious about every love, but she is always betrayed. In the end, the reason is that she has been too lack of love since she was a child. Her father's excessive preference for her sister who is seriously ill made her feel extremely insecure since she was a child. The habit of trying to please others at all costs.

Therefore, when there is a man who treats her well, she is like grabbing a life-saving straw, and she loves with inferiority.

Under such a state of mind, love has already blinded reason, and it is easy to be unkind if you invest in a relationship without discrimination.

We can find that those who are easily hurt by men in love are often good girls, because they are innocent, have no mind, and even can't tell the difference.

In the process of our growth, we will inevitably form some personality defects. Some girls are pure and kind but can't tell the difference. Some girls are too flattering to their boyfriends and make him into bad habits... 3. Similar to the rules In functional psychology, the explanation for the life phenomenon of "things gather together, people divide by groups" is the "law of similarity".

We will unconsciously gather around us people and things similar to ourselves. This is like in a class, people who have a better relationship with each other always get similar grades.

People who always feel that they can't meet high-quality boys, there are two situations. One is that their expectations exceed the level of their social circle, and the other is that they are not good enough to reach a high-quality and high-level level.

In addition, the environment you are in will also affect the likelihood of your choices.

Someone asked on Zhihu: After graduation, I returned to my hometown in a small county, but I always feel that there are few good boys around my friends of the opposite sex, and I feel very confused.

Someone answered his confusion. If you feel that there are fewer good people of the opposite sex around you, you can break out of your comfort zone and go to a bigger city to see the new world.

When our own level is improved, we will find that there will be more and more boys around us who make us feel high-quality.

Fourth, internal and external coordination, improve the quality of their heterosexual friendship The premise of solving problems is to find the problem first, and deeply understand the problem, only then can the motivation to solve the problem and the further development plan.

So, if you realize that you can't always find good boys around you, think about solutions from the inside and out.

Externally, to expand our social circle, we should not be limited to our own "one acre and three points of land". Our sources of social interaction are not limited to colleagues and friends. We can also expand our circle of friends by participating in clubs that we are interested in. .

Internally, if you feel that you have shortcomings, you should first find a way to correct your shortcomings, so as to break through yourself.

For example, you can jump to a better company with a wider platform through your own efforts. If you are just graduating and looking for opportunities, you can continue to break through and give yourself a bigger platform and improvement.

Sitting at home and doing nothing, high-quality boys will take the initiative to find you and want to get along with you. This is the plot of an idol drama. If you want to improve the quality of your heterosexual relationships, start taking action now!