While complimenting one person, don't belittle the other

In an episode of a reality show with stage actors, four actors took to the stage together, and film star Veroni Carosatti, who was a judge, shouted enthusiastically to one of the actors: "My God, It turned out to be you, you are my favorite actor!" Then he went on stage to hug each other warmly. At the same time, the other actors stood awkwardly aside, and Veroni Carosatti hugged her favorite actor and walked straight off the stage.

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After the performance started, the actors who didn't get hugs behaved very poorly. One of the young actresses even interrupted the performance and announced her withdrawal from the competition because she repeatedly forgot her words. Veroni Carosatti accuses her of being unprofessional and disrespectful to the show. At this time, another judge asked Veroni Carosatti: "There are four actors on the stage, you only shout to one of them 'you are my favorite actor', and only hug this one actor, you Have you thought about the feelings of the other actors?" Veroni Carosatti has repeatedly emphasized that she has "the right to whom I like the most" and "the right to choose only whom to hug."

Watching the two judges quarrel because of this, the actor who announced his withdrawal ran off the stage in tears.Undoubtedly, everyone has the right to like whomever they like the most, and who to hug, but one cannot only consider their own rights without considering the feelings of others. Making such a "contrastive choice" in public will inevitably hurt the other party being compared. In fact, the more Veroni Carosatti emphasized entitlement, the more hurt the other actors who didn't get hugs.

2 At a company's annual meeting, the general manager praised a salesman named Huang Bo in his opening report. In the first four months of Huang Bo's entry into the company at the beginning of the year, he had no results, and sometimes he could not even get a bonus. But in the second half of the year, with his own efforts, he exceeded 40% of the annual target and became a "silver salesman".

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After saying this, the general manager pointed seriously at an old salesman and said, "Look, Huang Bo, a novice, has caught up. If you continue like this, you will be finished!" Although this old salesman has Gold salesman, this year too, but overall performance has declined in the last year. When the general manager finished speaking, everyone looked at the old salesman, and the old salesman's expression changed instantly.

​​ After the Spring Festival, the old salesman resigned and went elsewhere, and the company lost a strong salesman as a result.

​​ Of course, the general manager must interpret his words as encouraging the other party, but taking this old salesman who resigned as an example, what he felt was not encouragement at all, but denial and hurt.

There is a kind of carelessness called "offend others and don't know", and there is a kind of unreasonableness called "after hurting others and saying that I am unintentional". Why is there always a sense of antagonism between people in many groups? In addition to the "small group" formed by the division of labor or personality, it may also be related to the leader's usual speaking habits. When praising one party, you must criticize the other party, and when criticizing one party, you must praise the other party. For example, "You see that even so-and-so is catching up, you have to cheer up" "Look at how serious so-and-so is, don't you learn a little bit"...

​​ Compliment one person, never belittle another person, especially in front of others or in other public places.