Which child will grow up to be successful?

Many of us often like to make predictions about a child's future. Sometimes, we rely on big ears, other times it's the intelligence reflected in bright eyes, or a broad forehead. At times, we base it on innate intelligence demonstrated through the ability to recognize letters at the age of two or three, or the child's mathematical and mental calculation skills even before attending school. On other occasions, we rely on the child's diligence and industriousness to predict that they will succeed in the future.

Those predictions may not be unfounded, but they automatically assume that success will come to the child solely because of their own qualities, not due to any external factors. The successful child is seen as such because of their innate nature, intelligence, or perseverance... rather than any other reason. As I wrote this article, I searched on Google for the keyword phrase "what makes a successful person." In a matter of seconds, Google provided over a million results, and after browsing through them for a while, I found them to be quite similar: "X characteristics/personalities of successful individuals" - where X can be any number - 8, 9, 12, 20... I'm not exactly sure why those numbers were chosen. Additionally, Google displayed a series of portraits of individuals considered exemplary in terms of achievement: Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and so on. Articles about these individuals also praised their intelligence, sharpness, and, above all, their passion for their work. It seems that when we talk about someone's success, we tend to focus on their personal characteristics and self-effort. Similarly, when someone talks about their own success, they often speak about what they have personally strived to achieve.

Of course, it would be strange if we overlooked someone's personal effort and abilities in their success, but attributing all success to individual effort and capabilities is not enough, and it can even be a deficiency that has significant consequences for society and for children.

Throughout books and websites, the story of Bill Gates being passionate about programming since he was in 8th grade is widely circulated. It is said that he spent thousands of hours tinkering with programming on a clunky old computer, even sneaking into a nearby university to use stolen computers while everyone else was asleep. He achieved a near-perfect score of 1590/1600 on the SAT and got admitted to Harvard University but dropped out to pursue his passion. Everyone has heard such stories and admires Bill for his talent, unwavering passion, and audacity. However, perhaps not many people pay attention to the fact that Bill was born into a wealthy family, with his father being a prominent lawyer, his mother working in the board of directors of two financial organizations, and his grandfather serving as the governor of a federal reserve bank. Bill attended prestigious schools in the United States meant for the affluent. And in the year Bill was in 8th grade, which was 1968, having access to a clunky computer like Bill did was a privilege that only a few people in the world had. I remember starting to use a computer around the year 2000, and it was still a cumbersome desktop computer, slow and sluggish. The only difference is that I used it over 30 years after Bill's time at Lakeside School.

The stories of Elon Musk and Oprah Winfrey are arguably more tragic, with one facing the coldness of a father described as "like a devil" and the other experiencing abuse from their own relatives starting at the age of 9, to the point of becoming pregnant at 14. However, it is easy to see that the emphasis of their stories often lies in how they overcame childhood tragedies to become successful and inspirational figures. We rarely remember that Elon was also born into an educated family, and in 1981, when he started using a computer for programming, he was fortunate to be one of the few who had that opportunity. Oprah Winfrey may have endured many hardships during her childhood, but she was fortunate to have a strict father who instilled discipline in her during her rebellious years and prioritized her education above all else.

Bill, Elon, Oprah, and any other successful individuals are undoubtedly exceptional individuals, passionate about their work, deeply insightful, persevering, and courageous. But there is an important aspect of their success that over a million Google search results often overlook: they all have been given opportunities. Opportunities to grow and succeed.

Bill would have had a difficult time becoming the Bill we know today if, 53 years ago, the parents' association at Lakeside School didn't use parent funds to purchase a computer for the students. Elon wouldn't be the Elon we know today if his mother wasn't from Canada, and if he didn't have the ease of going to the United States to study at the prestigious Wharton School of Business. Oprah would have faced challenges in reaching her current position if she hadn't been guided by a father who understood the importance of providing structure and prioritizing her education, despite limited financial resources.

If we continue to tell only half of the success story, if we continue to attribute the entire potential for success to individuals themselves and only themselves, I believe two things will happen.

Firstly, everyone will feel immense pressure on themselves, sometimes even insecure and self-conscious, thinking, "Maybe I'm not intelligent enough, talented enough, diligent enough, or sharp-minded enough, so I won't be successful." Conversely, some individuals may always attribute their success solely to themselves without recognizing the significant contributions of their inherent abilities. Writing this reminds me of myself: there were times when I felt so proud to see how I, on my own, overcame so many difficulties to achieve various awards, achieving a 9.0 IELTS score without studying abroad, receiving government scholarships, and so on, but I forgot that in addition to my personal efforts, I had enjoyed thousands of valuable opportunities compared to others. My mother allowed me to attend advanced English classes, occasionally with foreign teachers coming to teach, when the children in my elementary school only knew "what's your name?" I studied in specialized classes from a young age, given numerous opportunities by my teachers to participate in competitions, and met judges who liked and resonated with me enough to choose me. Meeting a different panel of judges, I may not have received the scholarship. The other half of the success story could cause some of us to retreat into our shells, tormented by self-doubt, while it could also make others prematurely complacent about their efforts.

Secondly, individuals in society and those in administrative roles will not deeply perceive their responsibility in providing opportunities. The evidence is that we have long regarded the meritocracy system as a given: those who are talented will receive what they deserve. Just a few years ago, there was strong public opposition to awarding extra points on graduation exams to students from remote areas and children of war veterans. We fail to understand that if meritocracy is all we pursue, it will deprive many disadvantaged individuals of opportunities. Ultimately, is the meritocracy system fair? Let's take an example: a student comes from an affluent family, with parents investing in organizing concerts, art exhibitions, and sending them to better schools compared to a student from a mountainous region, from a farming family, who has lower academic achievements and no accomplishments in art exhibitions or participation in a musical ensemble. If the disadvantaged student is given additional points to compensate for their disadvantaged background, allowing them to access better educational opportunities, is it fair to them or unfair to the other students?

I will not answer this question but leave it for you to contemplate on your own. However, I believe that along with admirable qualities, successful individuals are primarily those who have encountered opportunities in their lives. If we provide more opportunities, our society will have more individuals with potential to become successful. If we expose more children to computers and offer them opportunities to explore and discover, like Bill Gates, we will have more Bill Gates. If we have more fathers who care about their children and prioritize their education above all, regardless of financial challenges, we will have more children who overcome their circumstances like Oprah Winfrey. If we have more scholarships, programs, and policies for children like the Oprahs and Obamas of the past, we are also more likely to have television hosts and political leaders with the capabilities of Oprah and Obama today.

And if you are reading up to this line, I hope you understand that, more than a pair of Buddha's ears, more than a broad forehead, more than the ability to mentally calculate at the age of 4, the opportunities each child receives are the clearest indicator of whether they will grow up to be successful or not. If you are a parent, give your child the opportunity to live happily and learn effectively: when you read books with your child, you are giving them an opportunity; when you teach them ethics, discipline, you are also giving them an opportunity... If you are a teacher, provide opportunities for your students to study passionately and consider if you need to give them a little extra opportunity to share and confide in someone special... If you are successful, understand that besides your own talent, you have had many opportunities that others do not, and these opportunities lead to more opportunities. Share both halves of your success story with the world and share your good fortune with everyone...

If you are around a child, understand that they need opportunities to grow up and succeed.

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If you enjoy my writing, I believe you will also love the book "Outliers" by author Malcolm Gladwell. I wrote this piece after reading it and resonating deeply with the book's content.