When the Heart Hurts

There are so many wonderful moments when one is in love or feeling loved. Days that typically would feel routine or mundane become exciting and exhilarating. That feeling is almost as amazing as drugs are to an addict.

The flip side however is damaging to the mind, soul, being and of course everyday life. Having a broken heart is so intensely agonizing. Nothing, and I mean nothing can dull that hurt.

So what do we do? That’s what everyone really wants to know, right.

Here’s my thought on it, nothing scientific...just my opinion. You feel that hurt. You let that hurt live and experience the stages of living. Let me explain :

It’s born-that’s when the heart break initially happens. Doesn’t matter if it’s your fault or not but that hurt is real. Go through the newness of feeling that hurt. Acknowledge it. Tell your friends or family about it.

It begins to grow-that’s after the initial hurt is over but much like a toddler you still “cry” a lot or have an outburst of some sort over little things that typically would not elicit that reaction. But you’re overly sensitive and unable to get control of your emotions.

Oh my, now we’re getting somewhere-adolescence. This one, this is where your skin is getting tough and now instead of being sad, things piss you off. You almost decide that nothing is ever going to make you feel like you used to again.

Teeneager-yup, just like you’re thinking. That’s right you mature a bit more. You see the past emotional mistakes and even the actual mistakes and make sense of them. You start to formulate a plan for the next relationship or situation.

You’re almost there-adulthood. This, friends, this is the time where the healing is in full effect. You no longer have ill feelings toward the situation and you have fully accepted your part in it. You now have let that hurt make you better instead of bitter.

You made it, this is the last stage of that horrible heartbreak you endured - death. That thing has made a mark on you that you will never forget but you have made peace with it. You still remember the love part that felt so good and the heartache that seemed like it would never end. At this point you are thankful and greatful to have made it out and are ready to move on.

Allow yourselves those stages. Own them. Go through them, don’t try to avoid them.