When Someone Keeps You Confused, They’re Controlling the Story

🌿 Introduction:

Love isn't supposed to feel like a riddle.

It shouldn’t leave you awake at 2 a.m. wondering what you did wrong—

why they changed,

why the warmth faded,

why the effort disappeared but the excuses multiplied.

When someone keeps you confused, it’s not just emotional immaturity—

It’s control.

Because confusion keeps you stuck.

And when you're stuck, they don’t have to show up fully. They don’t have to be better. They just have to be just enough.

This is for the ones who’ve been breadcrumbed, ghosted, gaslit, and left in limbo.

🌫️ 1. Mixed Signals Are Clear Messages in Disguise

They text you all day one week… disappear the next.

They talk about forever, but won’t commit to next weekend.

They tell you they care, but you don’t feel it—at least not consistently.

Here’s the truth:

If someone wanted to be clear, they would be.

If they wanted to love you fully, they wouldn’t keep you guessing.

Mixed signals are intentional.

They’re designed to keep you emotionally invested while they remain emotionally detached.

🧩 2. Confusion Creates Attachment—Not Connection

There’s a psychological trap here:

The more unpredictable someone becomes, the more your mind obsesses over when they’ll give you love again.

It’s like gambling. You keep playing, hoping to hit that emotional jackpot you once tasted.

But connection isn’t a game.

Love isn’t earned through overthinking, overcompensating, or overextending yourself.

Real connection brings peace. Not panic.

🔁 3. The Pattern Is the Proof

They say they’re busy.

They say they didn’t mean to ignore you.

They say you’re overthinking.

But if you zoom out, the pattern will tell you everything.

Inconsistency is consistency—of a certain kind.

You don’t need more “reasons” for their behavior.

You need honesty with yourself:

Are you being loved, or are you being manipulated by unpredictability?

🕯️ 4. They Want You Close—But Not Too Close

They flirt with your heart but fear your depth.

They make you feel special, only to retreat when you start to believe it.

They dangle “what could be” without any intention of building it.

This is emotional control masked as romance.

They keep you hoping, waiting, trying—because as long as you’re confused, you stay.

But love doesn’t live in limbo.

It lives in presence, consistency, clarity.

🧠 5. Gaslighting Keeps You Questioning Reality

When you finally speak up—

They say you’re dramatic.

They say it’s not that deep.

They say you’re too sensitive.

But deep down, you know you’re not making it up.

You feel the shift.

You sense the silence.

You know you’re not being met with the same energy.

If someone constantly invalidates your reality, it’s not just a red flag—it’s a shutdown of your truth.

🥀 6. You Can’t Build Love Where Honesty Doesn’t Exist

Love requires communication. Transparency. Effort.

If you’re constantly trying to decode what they meant, where you stand, or what you did wrong—you’re not in love.

You’re in survival mode.

Trying to avoid being abandoned again.

Trying to fix something you didn’t break.

A healthy relationship won’t keep you in analysis paralysis.

It will tell you where you stand.

Clearly. Kindly. Consistently.

💡 7. Confusion Isn’t a Test—It’s a Sign

You think if you just hang in longer, they’ll come around.

That love takes time, that people grow, that maybe… just maybe… this is the rough patch before the breakthrough.

But what if this isn’t a test of your patience?

What if it’s a sign that your heart is somewhere it doesn’t belong?

Don’t waste your clarity trying to understand someone who benefits from your confusion.

🌤️ 8. Love Without Effort Is Just Comfort

Some people don’t love you.

They love the access.

They love knowing you’ll always reply.

Always stay.

Always give them more than they deserve.

But comfort without commitment is not love.

Familiarity isn’t intimacy.

You deserve more than someone who shows up only when it’s convenient.

🌊 9. Let Clarity Be Your Closure

You don’t need a dramatic goodbye.

You don’t need them to admit they were wrong.

You don’t need closure from them.

Confusion is closure.

Because real love doesn’t leave you lost in the grey.

Walk away from anyone who makes you feel like you’re hard to love.

You’re not.

They’re just not capable of loving clearly.

🪷 10. Love Should Feel Like Home—Not a Maze

In the right hands, your love will never feel like a puzzle.

It will feel safe. Simple. Seen.

You won’t have to chase it, decode it, beg for it, or shrink for it.

So when someone keeps you confused—

Don’t wait for them to change the story.

Write a new one.

One where you are the main character, not the side plot in someone else’s fear of commitment.

📚 Book Recommendation:

Why Good Guys Won’t Date You: Tips on How to Stop Ending Up with Terrible Men

By Shawn T. Smith

This book is a mirror and a map.

It helps you understand the psychological patterns behind why we attract emotionally unavailable partners and how to break the cycle for good.

Whether you're male, female, or non-binary—this guide gives you the tools to stop settling for confusion and start choosing clarity.

🔗 Check on Amazon