What The Hell Am I Doin' Here?

I chose that picture because of what it says. Nevermind the pairs of shoes. I'm not a flat footer, so I can't pull those off very well though I haven't tried. I assume I can't, so why bother?

Anyway, passion. Somehow, it led me to where I am right now—in my underwear, typing this because if I don't force myself to dive into this, I'm not going to do it at all. I'll keep talking about it, thinking about how I'll do it, and continue to browse the site and the writer's I have seen. Somewhere in my body, probably near my stomach, is the passion for writing. To talk. To share my ideas and stories that my slightly unhinged brain creates. It's what started me down the road of writing my novel back in 2015. It's what is pushing me closer and closer, however slow, to finishing that first novel and diving into the deep story I've created in my mind.

But why you might ask, has it taken so long? Just kidding, you won't ask that. I highly doubt anyone other than the review person will read this. HI TO YOU WHO DOTH JUDGE MY JUMBLED RANT THAT IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO JUMP FROM TOPIC TO TOPIC! I bet your name is Steve. It feels like Steve would review this.

Anyway, ADHD. That's what is stopping me from progressing, well, anything. I'm only 24.89 (My birthday is this month) years old, but I don't feel like I'm older than 17 or 18 because I still have such a hard time with responsibility and just being an adult in general. And it's hard feeling that way when I have a one-year-old. And more on the way.

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Sorry, this is day 2 of writing this, and I don't want to mush two different thought processes together like that, and I don't want to delete any of what I just said.

So what exactly is the point of this posting? Well, that IS the question of my title, albeit in a different form. I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I need to get back into the habit of writing things just for the sake of writing. I think it will help me groove back into writing out my book more. Cause I mean, I was pushing out chapters like it was nothing at the start of it. My mind just went with it. Now, it's not hard to create more of the story, just hard to write it.

It's hard to do much of anything, honestly. I always go into things so excited and ready to move, then I burn out and move on to the next disaster. I know it's an ADHD thing; I've done a lot of quick research because I want to know my faults and what isn't in my control.

That's another part of why I'm here. I need to vent. But I don't have a reliable platform to do it. Anyone I try to vent to gets overwhelmed because I DON'T STOP TALKING. Ever. Especially not with my hot topics of conversation that I will infodump for days.

And I have many ideas and thoughts that aren't of the norm or the politically correct. But that doesn't stop me from having them, even if I may want it to.

So when I stumbled on Vocal, I decided to take the jump and figure out what I would do hereafter I signed up. I'm here to, virtually, free vent on my choosing topics, try to post my drafts of my story that I have had on Wattpad for years, and maybe post more drafts here if I somehow get people to read my work.

I don't expect anything from this. But, statistically, there is a good chance I will gain readers. That's how I excited myself to continue pursuing my story. And that's all I want, to share things with people. Ideas, stories, feelings. And if I can manage that and make someone's life even just a little better, for any period, then I'll consider it a success.

Cause, even though I don't call myself this, I am a writer. It's evident to me now. All I do is talk and infodump and give off ideas that seem random or excentric. That should have been so much more obvious to me sooner in life than when it did. But here we are. And here you are, hopefully.