What it is really like being twenty-two.

When I think about being twenty-two, I am overwhelmed with a sense of feeling lost.

I've graduated from university with honors, I'm in a stable long-term relationship, and I've secured a full-time position. And, while I'm content with each of these aspects of my life, overall, there is that lingering feeling of being lost.

If someone were to ask me what I want in life, what I truly want in life, my honest answer would be: "I don't know." Of course I have an "idea" of what I want in life, but I'm not sure if this idea stems from my personal interests and hobbies, or if it is simply a result of the pressure I feel from friends, family, and society, to have everything figured out.

In an attempt to aid my fellow lost twenty-two year-olds, I've put together a list of twenty-two things everyone who is twenty-two should know. Whew … that was a tongue-twister.

1. It is completely ok to feel lost. When you're feeling lost, it's easy to believe that you are the only person feeling this way. However, if you were to ask any of your friends, family members, or even a stranger, if they've ever felt lost, their answer would most likely be: "yes". When these feelings arise, remember that you are not alone. Feeling lost is a part of life, and it is these feelings that will motivate you and shape you into your future self.
2. Twenty-two is the age of experimentation. At twenty-two, you are young and have very few commitments/responsibilities. Right now is the time to experiment, try new activities, and make mistakes, because you have very little to lose.
3. You are not a failure because you've failed. Did you make a huge mistake at work? Did you get caught speeding and receive a large fine? Did you try to do something yourself (#independent), but it did not work out? While these mistakes may currently seem monumental, I can promise you that looking back on them you'll laugh. When these things happen, take a deep breath, reflect on the situation, figure out what you can learn from this situation, and then go easy on yourself.
4. Take responsibility for your actions and mistakes. If you've made a mistake, regardless of how embarrassing it is or the consequences, own up to it. While it may be extremely difficult, owning up to your mistakes displays responsibility and maturity, which are highly respected traits. By attempting to shift blame or deny accountability, others will perceive you in a negative light.
5. Do not react to certain situations immediately. Take an hour, a day, or even a week, to reflect and formulate a response. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to spew hurtful words in an attempt to express your anger. However, I can let you know from personal experience, that you will regret this. By taking the time to reflect and choose your words carefully, you eliminate the possibilities of overreacting, unintentionally offending a person, and/or being wrong-and-strong.
6. Things have a way of working out for themselves. In relation to #5, by taking time to reflect on a situation, you are allowing the situation time to evolve by itself. In many cases, the situation may resolve itself without you having to input additional energy or resources. On the occasions that it doesn't resolve itself, remember everything happens for a reason. These situations may be preparing you for the future or guiding you to where you need to be.
7. Life is not fair. No one said it was. No one owes you anything.
8. Learn to say no. I cannot express the number of times I've agreed to something, and then regretted it. Whether it is spending time with a friend or agreeing to complete a large task at work, if you do not want to do a task, don't agree to it. Sometimes, saying no is the best option for yourself.
9. If something does not feel right, it usually isn't. While it may be difficult to discover your passions in life, it is considerably easier to understand what you don't want in life. If you feel as though a certain occupation or situation is not right for you, listen to that gut-feeling and make the necessary changes. Once you've done that, you're one step closer to figuring out what you want in life.
10. Focus your energy on interests, hobbies, and tasks you actually enjoy. It's easy to get caught up in activities that you don't enjoy because they're popular or your friends enjoy them. However, if upon reflecting on these activities you realize that you don't actually enjoy them, stop participating in them! Your time will be much better spent focusing on interests, hobbies, and tasks you truly enjoy. Also, by participating in activities you enjoy, you may even discover your passions in life.
11. Don't stop learning! Now that you've graduated from university, you may feel as though you understand everything regarding a specific field/topic. While you may currently be highly educated about a certain field/topic, everyday new information is released, new technology is invented, and new situations occur. If you don't continue to educate yourself, your knowledge will become outdated and even irrelevant. By continuing to educate yourself, you ensure that you knowledge regarding a topic remains valuable and relevant. Also, continuing to learn enables you to grow as a person and expand your perspective, refine your skills, and develop new ideas.
12. Apply the concept of "Quality vs. Quantity" to the people in your life. Applying this concept allows you to remove acquaintances, friends, and/or family which may negatively impact your life. Whether it's a friend that constantly gossips or a family member that continuously creates drama, if a person does not add enjoyment to your life or negatively impacts your growth as a person, remove them from social circle. It may be difficult, but you will come to realize that it was the best decision.
13. As quoted by Theodore Roosevelt, "Comparison is the thief of joy." In the age of social media, we are constantly exposed to images of people with "flawless" complexions, "naturally" perfect figures, endless streams of income, and the list goes on and on. Always keep in mind that these images and videos we are presented, are the best, most flattering moments of that person's life. Additionally, while it is extremely difficult to not compare yourself to these images and videos, you must remember that you are your own unique person and you have your own path in life.
14. Budget … as best as you can. Now that you're in complete control of your finances, it's tempting to spend you money on … well, basically everything you want. However, I can tell you right now, 90% of the items you purchase right now will be thrown out within a year. Instead of purchasing everything you want, you should focus on covering your costs (rent, insurance, etc.), building up your savings, and then, only then, you can spend the remaining balance on items you want.
15. The future is unpredictable. One thing that the recent pandemic has taught all of us, is that it is very difficult to plan. While it is beneficial to plan specific items and areas of your life, remember to be flexible with these plans. The only constant in life is change. If you over-plan and are not flexible with these plans, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
16. Slow down. At twenty-two, it can feel as though life is pulling you in a thousand different directions. There are limitless opportunities, and it may be appealing to try and experience everything as quickly as you can. However, it is important to take your time. Slow down and truly enjoy things. You have so much life ahead of you, there's no need to rush.
17. Spend time with your family. You must remember that as you are aging, so are you parents. Although it's tempting to focus on developing yourself, creating memories with your friends, and spending time with/finding a partner, it is equally, if not more, important to spend time with your parents. It is crucial to make the most of the time that you have with them because, sadly, your time with them is limited. Trust me, you will never regret spending as much time as you can with your parents.
18. Focus on yourself. It is extremely important to focus on yourself and prioritize self-care. Focusing on self-care improves your health and wellbeing. Your health and wellbeing affect and influence other aspects of your life. So, by prioritizing self-care, the overall quality of your life improves as well.
19. Accept yourself. Self-love is equally as important as self-care. Without genuine appreciation and affection for yourself, you may find yourself struggling with low self-esteem, unhappiness, and low confidence. Once again, this directly affects the quality of your life. Through self-love, you accept yourself, flaws and all. Self-love improves your mindset, boosts your confidence, and increases your resilience. Additionally, it positively influences the way you navigate life and handle situations. Although self-love is difficult, I myself struggle with it, it is essential.
20. Document EVERYTHING. We are privileged to live in an era where we can easily access cameras. Take advantage of this, and document all of the beautiful sunsets you observe, the moments you are dying of laughter with your friends, and everything else that you would like to remember. As you move throughout life, it is easy to forget specific moments and people. Having these images to look back upon will provide you with a memory of these moments, so you never forget.
21. There is a Taylor Swift song for every moment in life. I've come to learn in life that for every emotion I experience, there is a Taylor Swift song that aligns with these emotions. When you're feeling down and need a boost of confidence: "Me!". When you're feeling nostalgic about growing up/your family: "Best Day Ever". When you've murdered your best friend's cheating husband: "No Body, No Crime". (P.S. The last one is a joke. Just clarifying incase someone doesn't understand it.)
22. Everything that is happening right now, all of the changes, mistakes, life lessons, and so on, are responsible for creating the AMAZING person you are right now, and the even more AMAZING person you are destined to be in the future.

Lots of love,

Silvia