What is something you will never understand?

A relative's daughter was married off a few years back. I say “married off because the girl wanted to study and work for a few years but got married because of her parent's desperation and behaviour.

I didn't attend the marriage as it was not in my city. All this was told to me by another mutual relative who had attended the marriage and was in touch with the girl's family.

The girl was not very good looking to her parents, so they were desperate to marry her off as early as possible. She was always blamed for her looks, her weight, lack of high level of intelligence etc. The father did not want to “waste”(as per him)more money on her further education.

So they found a groom who had his own business and house. They spent a fortune on the marriage, gold and gifts for the groom's family. My relation told me that the groom and his family did not look like good people so she tried to dissuade them from marrying their daughter off in that family. But the father of the girl was adamant that he wanted to get rid of his burden(his words) as early as possible. The poor girl who had no support from both parents agreed to the marriage to escape from her father's taunts and anger hoping for happiness and peace in her married life at least.

Last week the girl's mother called up and told my relation this story - within a month of marriage the girl's mother in law got rid of the servant and the girl was expected to do all the household work. When the washing machine got spoilt, they didn't repair or buy a new one but asked the daughter in law to wash the clothes. The mother in law never allows the son to go to his room till 12 pm/1 am by which time the tired girl falls asleep. In the morning when she gets up early, her husband will still be sleeping. If she doesn't have a bath and comes to the kitchen by 6.30 am mother in law will start shouting. Whether this is because the son has some health issue which they have not told about or whether the mother in law doesn't want the son and daughter in law to bond, they don't know. If the mother asks the daughter to come to her maternal home for a few days, mother in law acts all sweet and says she finds it very boring if daughter in law is not there and doesn't allow her to go anywhere. This is just a pretext because, in reality, she can't do the household work which she has dumped on her daughter in law. For this reason, probably she doesn't want a daughter in law to get pregnant, so doesn't allow her son to go near his wife.

What I don't understand is, why parents force daughters to get married to the first man who agrees. Why they don't mind spending lakhs/crores on weddings but are reluctant to spend some thousands on a daughter's education? And here I'm not talking about uneducated parents. Both are educated and working. If the daughter was educated and working she need not have tolerated this third rate behaviour from inlaws. But today she has no parental support or financial freedom and is stuck in a bad marriage and is nothing but a glorified maid.

Why do some mothers get their sons married if they fear losing control over their sons? Why don't they let go and leave the couple to live happily?

Why are the sons so spineless and don't stand up for and support their wives?

These are some things which sadden me and are something which I will never understand.