What is a “True” Friend?

What are friends? Friends are supporters, admirers, caregivers and sometimes turn into lovers. Friends are the first relationships and interactions we make when we first leave our families to go to school. Friends teach us from a young age that you can’t trust everyone and not to always expect things in return. Friends are individuals we believe to be similar to us and we are comfortable with the agreement we all have, to be friends. Friends are sometimes temporary and your path and theirs split at different points. A true friend never loses the connection you and that person had made; you could hangout for the first time in decades and it would feel like High School all over again.

To me there are three lines of friends, first being your closest most meaningful friends that you would do anything for and they will do the same for you. The friends in this category have shown respect, love, loyalty and return. When I say return, I mean that when you give and give and give and expect nothing back, it’s nice to have a true friend that does and also expects nothing back, thus being the return. These first line friends are the first to hear from you on a regular if not often occasional timely basis of trying to hangout or just talk, if you didn’t they will call you to check in on you. The first line friends are the truest friends in your life.

To me the second line of friends would be the people that are next in line or are progressively moving toward first line friends, these friends show progressive not inherit but progressive qualities that need work. These friends have their own main group away from yours but have mutual friends in your group. These friends are less responsible, reliable, less trustworthy and less on return than first line friends but they still are loyal, to a point. These friends main focus is only you and what you can give them, if you have money, they ask for food, if you have a car, they want a ride. In the meantime their belief of their contributions or return is them just being present with you. These friends are more goal oriented but are still okay with you changing plans and them sticking with you.

To me the third line of friends would be the people that are one-hundred percent goal oriented, are not reliable or responsible, have only respect and the expectations to get something from you or for a one way return. These friends are the people working to better themselves and are not really focused on priorities but more the lusts of life. These friends you would consider only on a lonely night with nothing to do but have a want or need to leave the house and you know they won’t steal from you. These friends are people that use you thus making it completely fine using them in return, these friends have no concept of material value and are usually considered irritating by your first line friends. These people try to become second line friends but have to prove themselves to be worthy of trust and responsibility.

Why do I categorize my friends into sections like paint at city mill, well the reason is because when you become a “popular” or well-liked person, a lot of people try to be your “truest friend”. The “truest friend” to me is someone that would and will forgive me for anything I do to them or their family, will always be loyal and responsible, and will be honest and trustworthy. The reason I chose these qualities is not because I plan to do a heinous thing to my friend and his family or send us both into the depths of some hell. I am the kind of person and friend that is like that and if you are my “truest friend” that will be the ONLY return I expect of you. That of course doesn’t mean if one of us is being crazy or something we won’t yell at or put the other back in place but I expect a unyielding loyalty.

This categorization is not only for the safety and well-being of myself mentally, physically and emotionally but also for those chosen to be in whichever friend line. If I was to move a three to one, the people in the ones would become unrestful and upset with this change, kids like adults don’t like change. I noticed this when i made the mistake before, it’s not a purposeful reaction from the ones to the three for the person just being there. It is because of how they act and the unfamiliarity of the person's presence distributing the regular flow of the group. This in chain reaction set off different people to feel different feelings and act rude to the three to show differences or weaknesses and to see how dominant or defensive the three is.

If you have noticed, without me specifically dignifying these people as people and just kept it as numbers, you would think I am speaking about animals. The reason it comes across that way is because that's the way I purposefully chose to describe these people and their actions. Mostly because kids and adults I have noticed never really change from High School to “adulthood” mainly because a lot of these actions when they were little beasts were not checked. If they were checked, it was not enforced enough or was enforced too much, all causing opposition and opposite results for their parents. Most of the people you’ve read descriptions on I guarantee you remember growing up around or you know adults that still portray such actions.

Most people believe that friends are an infinite thing, well they aren’t, loneliness is an infinite thing and feeling, the only thing infinite about friends is they come and go. Friends are like temporary relationships, they only stay if both parties keep the connection going, connection being communication, mainly because without communication their can’t be a connection. A true friend is always hard to come by, a normal friend is always theirand can be everywhere. The difference is that a true friend will get up at 3AM and drive two-hundred plus miles to help you out with a flat tire and no gas, a friend will just call triple A and go back to sleep, maybe text you in the morning.

The reason I so heavily believe in a true friend being so much more valuable than a normal average friend is because of the pain you will feel when you lose one rather then have a bunch of the other. I have recently in the past six-seven months, lost the vast majority of my first and second line friends, it was not because of something I did but because they chose to believe lies. I in response for their disloyalty stop talking to most and for the rest said it was their choice to believe whichever and it will be my choice after theirs. I went through two close friends deaths by myself during this time and grew like a Redwood in a fertile forest.

When I lost them and the majority of my friends I took what I had left which was just me and I used it to push or forward myself in enlightenment spiritually and to evolve myself physically, mentally and emotionally. Which in that sense I am like a giant Redwood tree in a fertile forest, I have grown above the opposition and will only see the light of victory and further self growth. Another misconception I have noticed more then less in kids my age is that we believe our friends to be a constant or like their is a literal chain holding us all together, but when something or someone does something that snaps that chain, change happens and kids freak out.

The misconception not only being that you can completely rely on friends but also that it was a smart idea to make them your base of modem, the foundation that pushes you. People have that weird idea that they “need” their friends if they are to do anything or go anywhere, that without their friends, the entire world might come crashing down on them and they will be alone during it. I had my world crash on me and I was alone during it, I know I have a huge potential and purpose in my life and to help change the world, but it baffles me as to why nobody else seems to notice these sort of patterns or when they do, don’t fix or change it so it doesn’t have the same outcome of most relationships.

I have written a lot about what friends aren’t in the essay, now to emphasize on what friends are, friends are people we find similar to us in more than one way, we have agreement with them on this as well. The most crucial agreements between friends creating a connection using communication is that they both have similarities and want to be friends. They Also have respect to a certain degree and have about the same amount of curiosity toward the new person. The agreement then solidifies the connection which is based on the hopefully open communication between the two individuals. This is the start of a new relationship and possibly a new path in both of their futures.

When I first met all the friends in my group, they were all druggies, they all did acid, cocaine, ecstasy, molly, pills, you name it and they did it. I have only and for the rest of my life will only do earthborn naturally occurring things (never did any of that stuff). They all knew this about me and were still my friends, I grew very close to them and eventually was able to use my agreement and connection to then take control of the communication between everyone. This communication and agreement at the time was “let's do drugs” and eventually changed to “let's hangout tonight”. I got a total of twenty seven kids in my High School in two years to stop consistent​ use of those drugs (Ihave no control over the individual's choice of mind).

In conclusion, people and friends are going to make their own individual choices, how we react or act on those decisions is what defines us and our loyalties. I do not hold grudges but have always an open heart to all those who are gone, but they will have to lead themselves through the mist as I will not guide them this time back to me. Friends are strangers we are familiar and comfortable with being around, when I move and travel the world I plan to have an extremely open mind and heart to all those around but I will not ever again risk the fertility of my ground to another keeper.