What if's

What if's are a natural part of any relationship, it's the part you analyse most after you said something you shouldn't have or accepted something that was said to you after the fact. And truth is you will never know for sure what's real because you don't know what happens behind closed doors, conversations with themselves, or other people. actions they take to themselves or with other people.

They could be anything friends who are actually secret lovers. Strangers to help forget themselves or what's going on at the moment.

You see that's all part of the what if's.

What if they are telling you the truth, and they're actually not seeing anybody else.

What if they are in a bind and that was the only way they could help themselves.

What if you did jump too quickly to conclusions and judged their behaviour calling them incapable of love, when really we've all been there, it shaped us.

What if they don't even believe in love anymore but, they not trying to hurt you because they know you mean them well so they tell you what you wanna hear but that's not even remotely close to the truth.

What if they're in love with more than one person that's also a possibility right and they really can't choose because of history or chemistry.

What if it's the right one just not the right timing.

What if it's the wrong one but they will lead you to the right one.

What if none of that really matters as long as you can hold them, love them, and see them smile and enjoy good times with them while they're alive right here and right now.

What if they really did wants a baby with and build a family.

What if they really don't love you anymore and want nothing to do with you.

You see many times we are conditioned into coming in to the life of someone we deem special to us with conditions, and forget that we also seek the unconditional.

Sometimes we love too strongly to the point it binds the other person to us, keeping them shackled like we need to have a certain control over them and who they are as a person. We dare call someone toxic over how they make us feel but the reality is it's our feelings we govern that we are responsible for our own feelings. What if's are no different that's our own thoughts and fears, the subconscious we are responsible for as well.

Believe me I've thought about it a hundred times over it's not as simple as it looks these days having experienced being in relationships of many kinds. Some people out here love you and will never tell you for fear it own't be reciprocated, some people out here don't love you but tell you they do because you benefit them too much to be easily dismissed. Some people out here collect people to feed their sexual desires like a pornography collection only with real people it's a little sick when you think about it.

It's modern society, things have changed since our parents time and grand parents time people give up on their partners too quickly or make you look like you're the one at fault for giving them mixed signals, it leaves you second guessing and questioning everything. It's not fair to you but as long as they can keep you in the what if's loop you're already in their trap. But, here's the thing there are 7.53 billions of people on this planet...yet they chose you and they keep you around there has to be a reason some sort of love there although twisted there's a clear attachment to you.

I've experienced this with women but I know men do this to women as well, it's psychological torture. And the worst part is even once you set yourself free you still wonder later on down the line. What if this, or what if that.

My advice to you is love yourself so hard that when someone else comes into your life claiming they love you or feel a certain way you'll be able to recognise if it's real or not right away. Don't be a what if or fall into that what if trap. Be strong and be certain.

I found out certainty beats everything I've started practising being certain of exactly who I wanted in my life. And it's definitely showing results, the more certainty you show the more things fall in place for you. Because, the one's that come in to your life lacking certainty about you or wanting to keep you saved for later like a plan B you know, in case their plan A relationship doesn't work out. Will either be forced to run away from you, or stay. I never judge anyone for their decisions but I am certain of mine and that's enough. If you love me only time will tell, but I am certain I love you. My actions and words prove it themselves. This mostly applies to monogamous relationships, however I know that even within non-monogamous relationships, polyamory, or open-couples there is sometimes foul play the other is unaware of depending on their beliefs. Certainty is still a key concept that can save you any hassle.

This is something I've been wanting to write for a while and you're free to comment and share your opinions on the matter. It's important. On the what if's life,relationships and love brings to people.