What Connects Us

Let's explore the subject of soul ties or more commonly known as connections between two lovers. But what can be considered a connection? Well in my opinion and mine alone a connection is when I can share my interests or a loved hobby with a special someone. To me there's nothing more sexy to me than a woman enjoying herself not just with me,but with the activity I enjoy myself. As the picture suggests these two are genuinely enjoying each other's company at home comfortably in their element. No expensive restaurants,clubs,parties,or family functions. Don't get me wrong those things are just as important date nights are a no brainer they break up the stale cycle of everyday life. I would love to talk about date nights one day but that's not the topic of this writing as of now connections are. I didn't consider connections between two people in a relationship to be important until I witnessed a few things in my own life. The first time I considered a connection but I didn't realize it was when I was watching a show called The Handmaid's Tale. It was one particular scene where Elizabeth Moss's character discovered the man house needed a connection with her in order for him to be able to perform the procreation ritual. That specific connection was a game of chess. It's been a while since I saw the show so please don't bother correcting me. That show was the first time I thought about connections so needless to say I brushed it off as a good plot to keep the show moving forward. As time went on I found myself in some pretty hectic relationships,or if I'm going to be honest here I was majorly disconnected from the women I was dating. I wasn't emotionally available. I could care less if they left me or stuck around most didn't. As I thought back to those relationships I came up with a common denominator: I had no connection with them at all. I always ended up doing the things or heavily involved in their interests, and far too often I ended doing the things I liked alone. Before we move forward lets address that awkward ass elephant in the room you know the one that question that's forming in your head. "If a connection is so important to this guy then why in the world did he not say anything to these women?" Awww yes communication yet another important factor in a relationship. Here's the answer to that question I DID, and they were not interested. I'm not going to go into detail with every relationship I was in so I'll just give you some examples of the events of my latest relationship. Going into this relationship I admit I didn't express the importance of her participating in anyone of my interests. I expressed to her that my number one passion above all is writing the only thing I asked her to do is read some of my work

and give me some feedback. I could tell she was afraid of hurting my feelings so her answer to that was " If you think what you're writing is good then it's good." She never bothered reading one letter of anything I wrote. So her reading my work was out what's next. I wanted her to join me when I went to the gun range at the very sight of one of my guns. She was just utterly disgusted . So the gun range was out. I wanted her to join me for a chill out session of Mortal Kombat well you guessed it "No". Now let's explore some of her interests. She likes to travel cool. We've been on two during our time together a short six months and she was planning three more before this year was out. She was starting a bakery business needless to say I was the guinea pig to give her some feedback now wait a minute does that sound familiar to you. So what's the message here? You don't have to be fully invested into what your partner does in their spare time, just put some effort into understanding it. With that connection you established with your partner your relationship with said partner should go a little smoother than you think.

T.L.Arnold