We Are Not on the Same Page Anymore

When I was a student in school, I had wonderful friends. We laughed together in the schoolyard, shared our dreams and ambitions, and supported each other every step of the way.

I truly believed that our friendship would last forever, especially during those moments we spent planning our future and dreaming of achieving everything we wished for. Those were some of the happiest memories of my life.

After school, we went to different universities and studied different majors. Even though we tried to stay in touch, things gradually changed.

Because of how much we loved each other, we tried to resist change. We held on tightly, trying to keep everything the way it was, but in the end, it wasn’t enough.

Over time, despite our best efforts, we realized that nothing lasts forever, and eventually, we became strangers.

They’re not bad people, and I’m not disloyal.

When we started our lives, we were naive—without identity or direction. As we grew, each of us faced unique experiences and challenges. We cried, laughed, failed, and succeeded in our own ways, and all of these moments shaped us and our identities.

Our stories have made us who we are, which is why we’re no longer the same people we were in school. Even over the past year, we’ve changed—our thoughts, personalities, and even our features. Naturally, our lives and relationships have changed, both in nature and form.

As we continue through life, we mature, gain insights, and learn more about ourselves. However, we pay for each lesson life gives us. That’s why our relationship with ourselves changes, and, in turn, our relationships with family and friends shift.

Sometimes, to cope with stress, life challenges, psychological struggles, and even our unhealthy relationships, we may begin to prefer distance or solitude.

“Life is about change. Sometimes it’s painful, sometimes it’s beautiful, but most of the time, it’s both“.

One day, my mom told me, "I will not be able to teach you everything; some lessons life will teach you."

Life has taught me an important lesson: love is not a guarantee that people will stay in our lives. Friends from school may not be with you in the next stages of life. It is possible that the friends you meet in university come into your life for a specific reason and they may go one day.

This applies to all the people who enter our lives. Many of them serve as lessons—whether we learn from them, they become lessons for us, or we teach them something in return.

In other words, not everyone you love will stay in your life forever. Some people are meant to be with us for a specific time or reason, while only one or two might stay with us for life.

Learning this lesson wasn’t easy, and we initially rejected it. However, I’ve come to realize that when we hold on too tightly, we unintentionally hurt each other. Friendships can turn into enmity, and love can turn into hatred. What once felt like safety can become a source of pain.

In my opinion, it’s sometimes better to maintain distance than to be too close. Maybe we are strangers now, yet we are still close at heart, bound by love and memories.

Change is an inherent part of life. Although the external forms of relationships can shift over time, their essence should remain. That's why you might not stay in touch as often, or your dreams and opinions may start to differ. Perhaps you can’t share everything with them the way you used to.

And even if we no longer communicate as we once did, we must maintain the essence of our love and hold onto our memories. Keeping our love and memories alive allows us to feel happy when we reflect on the past, rather than letting those memories become a source of pain.

Above all, both sides need to understand and accept the natural changes and growth that we all experience.

Sometimes, friends change together, but other times, one person changes while the other doesn’t. In these situations, it’s important to be considerate of each other’s feelings and explain what’s happening. This helps them understand that it’s not about abandoning them. Likewise, they should be open to accepting the changes in us.

Sometimes, relationships require compromise, and those compromises help preserve the core of the bond.

Despite all that, I want to clarify that I’m not talking about toxic relationships or bad people who should be left without a second thought. I’m not referring to abandonment; I don’t mean leaving your good friends behind for no reason, turning your back on them when they need you, or ignoring their calls and messages.

I want to highlight that even just forgetting them from memory is considered betrayal. “Never forget who was there for you when no one else was“.

In this case, that’s true; they are not bad people, but you are disloyal. You must bear the consequences of your betrayal, as others have the right to decide whether to accept you back or to kick you out. Know that sometimes there’s no way back, you will lose them forever. No one is available to us forever, and being disloyal can cost you dearly.

I mean, in my words, the beautiful relationships that can change because of the storms of life, where the nature of the relationship shifts. We feel guilt, even though it’s beyond our control. Sometimes, the storms of life and their changes are stronger than we are, leading us to end up as strangers who still love each other. “At some point, we realize that some people will stay in our hearts but not in our lives anymore.“

If change is inevitable, how we handle it is within our control.

From my previous experiences, although I believe that we all have the right to change and to change the people around us, I’ve learned that knowing how to change is more important than whether to do it at all. It’s essential to do so with moral consideration.

Change should happen with love and respect, without causing hurt or damage. In a way that enables us to shake hands if we meet on the street one day, support them if they need it, and reach out when we miss them. Above all, we will be able to remember our memories, laugh, and tell ourselves, ‘They were great memories, and they were great people.’

Keep in mind that change doesn’t erase the beauty of what we once had; it allows us to appreciate those moments as part of shaping our past. As the saying goes, “Things end, but memories last forever.”

There are no guarantees in life; we may change, our relationships may transform, and we may even drift apart. However, what truly matters is that when we part ways, we leave each other with a lasting, beautiful impact. The important thing is to remind yourself that: ‘they are not bad people; our destinies simply no longer align.’

Endings embody our morals; ultimately, the way we end reflects who we are.