Watch Your Fanny Here Comes Hammy

Oh so many years ago on Dad's farm I was just a young girl. I remember the warm summer nights, the smell of the tall grass in the field and good olé' Brownie the Bull. There were also goats, cats and dogs. Most of these things were all a part of everyday life but the thing I remember most is the momma pig. Dad called her Hammy. Hammy the Pig. I really didn't know why until much later but I just thought it was a cute name. My experience that year was such that I would never ever forget. Mind you, I didn't know she was pregnant. What I did know was she just loved it when I sat on the fence and used a two by four to scratch her back. Her reaction was both funny and fulfilling. She was always sad to see me leave. We were buddies. I think I was her best friend.

Living on a farm was wonderful growing up. There were so many things to do and learn. I really enjoyed being outside everyday helping dad feed the animals. Mostly it was the best part of the day because I got to be with him! Dad was an old timer who did things slow and easy. He took his time and taught me to enjoy every moment with all the creatures. I fed them and on hot summer days sprayed them down with water. I felt this must be what heaven is like because we were always happy.

He taught me a lot but there were certain things he didn't teach me about. Mom did that. She made me watch every time the dog or cat gave birth. She also showed me how to handle them while they were still so young. That was the best part, holding all the babies. I loved being out on the farm with them and I especially loved going out to that big old barn.

I was out sitting on the fence scratching her back again when I noticed that Hammy was getting really fat. I asked dad about it and he said she was about ready to kick out a litter of piglets. So I was really excited because this was my first time with baby pigs. Every day I would ask dad "was it time yet"? All he would say was almost.

Finally the day came while I was at school and I didn't find out about it until I came home the next day. I ran out to see Hammy and talk to her about the babies. They were so cute and so small. I knew not to climb in the pen with her so I would have to abide my time until I could hold one.

Finally the day came, they were older now and yet still small enough I could pick one up. I couldn't wait. I came home from school. Did my homework. Rushed down my food. I never talked to mom or dad about what my very next adventure was going to be.

I was in my farm clothes so fast and out the door I think my mom thought the wind was picking up. I was so excited to see Hammy and the piglets. They were so eager to see me too. They were climbing the fence to get to me and Hammy just watched from a distance. Finally I got my chance. I reached down and picked up a cutie. I got her in my arms and just started lovin' on her. All of a sudden she started squealing. Man she was loud! I tried to calm her down but that wasn't happening.

That's when it happened, my heart almost stopped. Momma pig, my good friend Hammy who loved me scratching her back, just headed for the fence that stood between us and I thought she was going to climb right over it. She was snorting mad. I basically threw her baby back into the pen and ran out of the barn as fast as I could.

I stopped just long enough to see if she was after me. My heart was racing a mile a minute. I think I broke out in such a sweat that I dared not go in the house yet. I went over to the first barn to hide in the hay for a while to calm down. I guess I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew it was dark and mom was waking me up. When she asked me why I was sleeping out here I just told her I had a very hectic day.

I learned a very important lesson that day, never mess with a baby. Momma's don't like it. And now that I'm a great Grandma I can totally agree. You better watch your fanny if you mess with any of my babies either.