Unrequited Love

Ah, unrequited love. If you've ever found yourself staring wistfully at someone who doesn’t even know you exist, welcome to the club. Unrequited love is that special kind of heartache that feels like you’ve signed up for an emotional marathon...without realizing you’re going to be the only runner.

Unrequited love could actually be a genre of its own. It's like the romantic comedy where only one character knows it's a rom-com, and the other one thinks they’re in an action flick. So here you are, thinking you’ve found “The One,” while they’re out there making casual small talk, treating you like, well, everyone else. But hey, at least it gives you a story to tell, right?

1. The “In Love with a Stranger” Starter Pack

It usually starts off innocently enough. Maybe it’s the cute barista who always remembers your name (and forgets everyone else’s, obviously), or the coworker who once gave you a pen when you really needed it. Suddenly, they’re all you can think about, and your brain kicks into hyper-romantic overdrive. You start imagining how you'd look at each other from across a room, slow motion and violins and everything. A realistic conversation? Not even on the radar.

2. The “Stalker Lite” Phase

Once unrequited love takes hold, it can get... a little cringy. But hey, we’ve all been there. You accidentally memorize their schedule, know exactly which lunch spot they love, and maybe – just maybe – take an extra lap around their Instagram. Call it “investigative reporting,” but your friends call it stalking. Either way, it’s research for your “relationship,” so what’s the harm, right? (Spoiler alert: there’s probably a little harm.)

3. Imagining Their Flaws (That Don’t Actually Exist)

As you get deeper into unrequited love, your brain tries to protect you in its weird little way. You’ll start imagining their flaws just to shake things up. “Sure, they’re perfect and beautiful, but they probably can’t parallel park to save their life.” Or, “Do they even recycle?” It’s a tiny attempt to burst your own bubble because, let’s face it, you know this ship isn’t going anywhere.

But then, just when you’re about to give up, they smile at you – or worse, make polite small talk – and suddenly you’re back to square one, convinced it’s fate.

4. Mastering the Art of the Friendly Side Hug

After all that imaginary swooning, real-life interactions can be... a tad disappointing. Let’s say you finally work up the courage to ask them to coffee. But it turns out they’re bringing a group along (ouch), and now you’re awkwardly third-wheeling a social hangout. Then, when it’s finally time to say goodbye, you get the ultimate cherry on top of the unrequited-love sundae: the friendly side hug. You know, the kind of hug you give your aunty at Thanksgiving. Not exactly a declaration of undying affection.

5. Wallowing Like a Pro

Congratulations! You’ve entered the wallowing phase, and you’re probably crushing it. Your friends may suggest you “move on,” but that’s easier said than done. You’re busy building a tragic playlist filled with every heartbreaking song known to humankind, while scrolling back to that one time they replied to your story with an emoji.

6. Accepting (or Pretending to Accept) Reality

After weeks or months (who’s counting?) of hovering in a love bubble, you eventually start to deflate. Maybe you even go through the classic “I’m totally over it” speech, where you casually toss out a few lines like, “Oh, them? Yeah, whatever. I’m over it,” while still checking their profile one last time...for good measure.

And when it’s all over, when you’re finally ready to leave the land of unrequited love, you realize: you survived! You've emerged wiser, and maybe a little more skeptical of that next “cute stranger” you bump into. Or, you know, you’ll just repeat the whole thing again – because unrequited love is a bit of an addictive hobby, and there’s always another barista out there who might remember your name.(sigh)