Unfinished Business

She didn’t know what it was exactly. There was sort of a magnetic pull between the two of them. It had been years since they’d even seen each other but, in this moment, it was as if time didn’t exist.

They stared at each other from across the room, the world becoming muffled background noise. Her eyes drank him in, she found herself feeling intoxicated by his mere presence. His warm brown eyes stared into her matching ones as they glided to each other.

He looked the same but somehow very different. His dark brown hair was still cut low with deep waves, a few blemishes covered his face, but they did nothing to take away from his handsomeness. She found herself flashing back mentally to previous times together. His body was still lean but the years a few pounds to his five-foot nine frame. A freshly lined goatee graced his full lips that she had loved kissing so much. A simple black silk shirt covered the top half of his body while ripped gray jeans adorned the bottom. She couldn’t see what shoes he wore but she was sure they were the highlight of his ensemble. The simple gold rope chain that hung from his neck had a medallion of some sorts on it. They weren’t close enough for her to make out in the dimly lit room.

She felt like she was having an out of body experience. Her body was not her own as she floated towards him. She had no control. She was his for the taking whenever he desired. She prayed that tonight he desired.

He watched her, taking mental snapshots of her every movement. She had slimmed down some, but her curves were still undeniable. Memories of her naked body at the many different stages of her finding her form flooded his mind. Was she confident in her body, did she still know how to love herself regardless of the number on the scale? She walked as if she did, with a certain air of grace, a certain poise. Her legs were always long but tonight they looked as if they went on for miles. Her skin glowed from within, she was happy. Gone was the short pixie of her, replaced by shoulder length dreadlocks, different hues of blonde framed her face. She wore them hanging with jewels attached to a few. It was much different than he had left her, but it worked as all her hair styles did.

His eyes scanned her body. He silently approved of the stretchy bell bottom pants she wore. Yellow in color they swayed with her, looking almost painted on. Her supple breasts sat cradled in a pristine white crop tee with thin straps. Her nails were long and painted, he noticed as she held her crossbody purse close to her body like a shield. He couldn’t see her feet but knew from her height she wasn’t wearing heels. He couldn’t see her signature name necklace, but he knew it was there; she never took it off. Something glistened from her right wrist, a bracelet of some sorts he would guess.

Finally, they stood directly in front of each other. Silently they stared at each other, breathing each other’s air. She noticed cologne, something he never used to wear. He noticed the diamond ring on the only finger that it mattered to wear one on. Internally he recoiled at the mere glance.

“Hi,” they both spoke at once. She felt the nervous energy passing back and forth between them both. Standing there felt so strange, but very familiar at the same time.

There was so much to say but no amount of words could even begin to cover everything they both needed to say. Where would they even start? Time had done both good, but the underlying emotions hung heavily over them like a blanket.

Staring at each other they did their best to convey messages of everything they needed to say to each other without uttering a word. There was love, hurt, a whirlwind of good and bad times. They had molded each other unexpectedly, had altered the course of their lives with snap decisions. What could they say to each other that hadn’t yet been said? What should they say?

For so long he held so much anger towards her. She caused him so much hurt, so much confusion. He even hated her for a while. The pain of their breakup and the times leading up to it had pushed him into a deep depression where he felt like he didn’t even know himself anymore.

The same could be said in regard to her feelings after the split. She was lost, broken in ways she never imagined she would be, because of him. He had ruined parts of her that she was still attempting to clean up in her bi-weekly therapy sessions.

Two souls that had set each other on fire and simply walked away while still blazing. In turn burning others way too often before they finally figured out how to simmer.

She didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t know how to even be around him anymore. They were an unfinished book, a cliffhanger. Her heart ached when she saw him glance at her left hand again. Part of her wanted to hide her hand while the other part relished in the fact that she was able to unknowingly show him that someone found her worthy in every aspect he criticized her on. Somebody saw her broken pieces and was patient with her recovery. Maybe it was because he had already laid the blueprint.

“Congrats,” he said with a slight pinch in his tone. His eyes were dark but she saw a flicker of something.

Clearing her throat she gave a simple thank you. A small smile graced her lips as she looked at her ring. It was perfect for her. Her fiancé was perfect for her. Wasn’t he?

They stood in thick silence once again. She wanted to touch him, to hug him. Fear of what may happen afterwards paralyzed her. What if he rejected her? What if she couldn’t stop with just a hug? What if she didn’t want to?

“How have you been? You look good,” she finally spoke again. The familiar ache in her yoni and heart made it hard for her to breathe around him. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him in over 3 years but that didn’t stop her body from reacting.

“I been good. Just working and living. I see you shinin on me,” he chuckled, lifting her hand to his mouth. He brushed his lips across the back of it before letting it down gently. “When's the big day? Or did I miss it?”

Slightly embarrassed, she rubbed her arms up and down her arms as if cold. “Yeah, thanks. It's actually this weekend. On the 15th.”

His eyes slightly widened as he took a step back. “The 15th huh? Why?” His eyes burned into her as she simpered, looking away.

“You know why,” was all she could muster.

“No, tell me.” He pressed her.

“I needed the day to mean something else to me. Something better, happier.” Shame filled her eyes as she looked away.

“I guess that’s just something else you replacin when it comes to me. Somethin else to erase me from. It's cool g, I get it.” He looked over her head momentarily.

She found herself blinking back tears as a lump formed in her throat. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“I get it, don’t trip. You look good tho. I know it's been years so I didn’t expect to see you here. Or at all. But congrats my dude. Maybe it won't take so long to run into you again.” His eyes focused back on her. He saw the glistening of her eyes, the regret but couldn’t bring himself to comfort her. She was still selfish. He had hoped time had changed her more than just physically. Kissing her hand again, he looked at her one last time before turning and walking away.

Standing there she swallowed her tears before leaving the building herself, her mind stuck as she pulled out her phone to email her therapist for an emergency session.