True Birds

If the birds could fly away but never be out of sight and the sun shrink forever but never die, maybe Alicia would always love him, even after she had moved on. It’s also possible Marvin needed to stop gazing out of his window. But the room was lonely, and the night, with its palpable stillness, gave nothing to suggest that the expectation of romance only years of movie consumption could inculcate was imminent.

At first, Marvin was relieved. There even felt a lightness to being without love, especially one with a thorn in its side. For reasons he couldn’t understand, and perhaps resented, Marvin’s composition, emotionally or chemically at least, always drew him away to other pursuits. Specifically, he was struck by a call to adventure, though nobody could be sure whether he had been called or was the one doing the calling. Alicia, on the other hand, wanted him to move to Italy, where she lived, and settle down to a life frequenting gelaterias.

But now he felt differently. How could being without her sink him to such depths when the point was to free him skyward? All he could conclude was that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. At 25 years of age, this was a grandiose view of things, but grandeur is meant for the young, and he was still eligible. He couldn’t do this anymore. Tomorrow, he would catch a train to London Heathrow, fly to Rome, and win her back.

It was the next morning, and Marvin was tightly ensconced in his seat on his way to the airport. Just as he began to drift into fantasy land, where he could beat up multiple street thugs and his hair never thinned, he noticed a lady stowing away her suitcase next to him. She must have been around 50 or so, strikingly pretty, and with a short golden bob that floated effortlessly upon her shoulders. Marvin tried to smile nonchalantly so as to recognize their fate together but, for the nervousness flushing into his chest, ended up half clenching his lips at nobody in particular. She slipped into the seat diagonally opposite to Marvin, which seemed the politest option, and started reading her book. She was reading A Tale of Two Cities. He glanced over. Her eyes were rich and alluring, as if they served solely to distract from the secrets she kept behind them. She noticed him and smiled.

‘I think the train is a little late today.’

There was a pause as Marvin processed the news that she was starting a conversation with him.

‘Er, yeah, *ahem*, I’m sure it’ll leave soon though!’ He was clearly nervous. She smiled again, this time sweetly, almost as one would to welcome a young child into their home.

‘Where are you off to today?’

‘Um, Rome. What about you?’

‘Oh, I’m heading to Milan! That’s lovely. Family?’ Her Italian accent was subtle and enveloped in well-spoken English.

‘No, no. Just, something else. What about you?’

‘Someone special, maybe?’ She tilted her head and smiled again, knowingly, as if she had trekked his path a thousand times.

‘Well, I hope so. I guess I’m going to find out.’

She squinted at him with a curious smile, trying to draw out his thoughts. Marvin complied. He couldn’t understand why, but he wanted to tell her everything.

‘This girl broke up with me. But it was my fault you see. And no, I didn’t cheat…’ The lady chuckled. ‘Basically, I want to do certain things with my life, and I guess I didn’t feel like I could if I stayed with her in Rome.’

She closed her book. ‘Do you love her?’

‘I do. I can’t stop thinking about her!’

‘Do you think she loves you back?’

‘Well, I know she did. But it’s been five months since we broke up, so…’ The lady scrunched her lips pensively. Marvin was hooked by whom he now deemed to be a beautiful oracle sent to save him.

‘Hmm. Let’s say she doesn’t love you back. Are you prepared for that?’

Marvin took a moment. ‘Yeah, I guess she may have moved on. But what we had was so amazing, surely we can rekindle that?’

‘But then what is it you want to do with your life that was more important?’

Marvin sighed deeply, foreshadowing the incoming of a long and complex story. ‘Basically, I want to do great things.’

‘Career-wise?’ she interjected.

‘Yeah. I want to build a company, become amazing and be known and revered, go on a journey…’

‘And because you’d have to move to Rome, in a more stable life with her, it wouldn’t be feasible?’

‘Exactly!’

‘I understand.’ She smiled again. Marvin tried not to be affected by her composure, but it was hard not to be disarmed by it.

‘You know something? You remind me of my son. He turned 22 last year. How old are you?’

‘Twenty-five.’

‘Right, so same age…’ Marvin was deeply offended by the notion that he was somehow the same as a mere 22-year-old, but opted to let it go.

‘I had him when I was in my early thirties. That was a little late back then.’

‘What do you do, if I may ask?’

‘I am a businesswoman. I started when I was your age, we had a small magazine about fashion…’

‘Oh wow! What’s it called?’ Marvin interrupted.

‘It closed a long time ago. We ran out of money.’

‘Oh sorry, what happened?’

‘Well, nothing for a few years. But that was when I met my husband. He was so handsome! He had a very dark beard. It wasn’t the norm then, my parents thought he was a thug! A bit like yours, very handsome.’ She laughed. Marvin knew he was being strategically flattered, but blushed anyway, mostly because he couldn’t help it.

‘We had an intense relationship. We broke up, twice. That’s when I went to Stockholm, in Sweden. Have you been?’

‘Sweden! Oh, wow, no I haven’t…’

‘My father had a colleague there who got me a job as a junior editor. It was a wonderful place, but it meant I left my husband, then just my boyfriend of course. Then I got sent to Paris to head up their fashion division.’

‘That’s amazing!’ Marvin was lapping up every sentence like an astounded puppy.

‘Then in 1996, 97, I left and started my own company. I went back to Milan and met my husband again. He was married at the time. But after he saw I had come back, things unravelled. I’m not proud that he left his wife for me, but it's just the way things went. He always loved me, I guess.’

‘Did you always love him? You know, when you were away?’

She paused. ‘No, I didn’t. It was hard leaving him. But I was young, Sweden was amazing, and after a few months I sort of moved on. When we met again, he said he’d never stopped thinking about me, but who was I to really know the truth.’

‘But like, what if he’d stayed with his wife? Would you have fallen back in love with him?’

‘No, I wouldn’t have done anything if he hadn’t come after me. I would never intentionally ruin a relationship like that. But he made it clear he wanted to make the decision, so I told him the truth, that I wanted to be with him.’

Marvin was so captivated he hardly noticed how much time had passed until, finally, the conductor’s voice came booming from the speakers to let them know their destination was near.

‘So, am I doing the right thing going after Alicia?’

‘I don’t think it really matters, caro [‘dear’ in Italian].’ Marvin was now thoroughly confused, and his face contorted to convey this fact.

‘I asked you what would happen if she doesn’t love you. But what if she does?’

‘Well, that would be amazing?’ He looked bemused, not quite sure how she had missed the entire point of his journey to Rome.

‘I understand, but if you still want this adventure in your life, aren’t you going to have to face that again?’

Marvin’s heart sunk. She was right. All of this was just excitement, and eventually he would need to accept giving up his plan of an exciting life that didn’t offer the stability Alicia wanted and, ultimately, they’d break up.

‘Well, I guess you’re right.’ Marvin replied quietly, clearly disheartened. She tilted her head empathetically.

‘Life is not an adventure you plan in advance. It doesn’t matter what you do, so long as you do something. Life will come to you, don’t worry.’

‘But what about Alicia?’

‘I’m not saying don’t go for her! I’m just saying don’t go for her.’

‘Okay…’ Marvin’s tone made it patently clear he didn’t know what she was talking about.

‘Go to Rome. But stay there. Live there, regardless of whether Alicia goes back to you or not. Let that be your adventure. You may end up together, or your life might take on other twists and turns. But go anyway and who knows, maybe you’ll find someone new.’

‘But what about career stuff?’

‘Success comes from doing things. Start something in Rome, it doesn’t matter. You are planning your life before you’re even living it. There’s no need to plan so much, caro.’

For a moment he was excited. Then reality hit him. ‘Wow, I mean that’s great but, I would need to find a new job and a place to stay and that costs a lot, I don’t know…’

She looked at him and then at her book cover. ‘Okay.’ She opened her handbag and pulled out a green book and a pen. He assumed she was looking to start some sort of pen pal arrangement. She scribbled in it, tore off the page, and gave it to him.

‘Wait, what! I can’t take this?’

‘Please, I insist. I’ve done extremely well, and I don’t need so much anyway!’ She laughed and smiled at him. ‘This will tide you over until you find something permanent.’

‘But $10,000 is way too much? I would feel indebted to you.’

‘Oh no, I’ve had so much fun talking to you. You really do remind me of my son, I want to help you. My business has done very well, it’s nothing. Please, take it. Also, here is my number!’ She handed him a business card as pristine and classic as she. ‘If you want to work for me, just hop on a train! You’d have to stay in Milan, but we always need assistants!’

‘I, I don’t know what to say, thank you so much.’ The idea of working in Milan and finally having the adventure of a lifetime was exhilarating, and he felt it.

'By the way, your son, what's his name?'

‘His name was Alex. Go enjoy your life and don’t plan so much! Good luck with Alicia, caro!’

...

It was later that evening, and Marvin was torn. He could easily head to the station and begin a new adventure in Milan. But Alicia was here, in Rome, and he had come to win her back. A flurry of excitement spread through him. This was it. He darted out of his hotel room and headed for the lobby.

‘Mi scusi, err, taxi?’ Marvin said impatiently.

‘Absolutely.' The receptionist took out a small black notebook filled with taxi numbers and proceeded to make the arrangements. A few minutes later, he motioned for him to go outside where his taxi was waiting.

‘Where are we heading today, sir?’ the taxi driver asked.

Marvin buckled his seatbelt.

Just as he was about to direct the driver to the street Alicia lived on, he thought about the lady on the train, and Milan. And then, as he looked up at the sky, he saw two birds drifting together toward the setting sun, until finally they parted ways, and were out of sight.

‘Sir?’