To: The One That Let Go

We were that couple that everyone called on. The, "power couple," "perfect team," what-have-you. We were vibrant together, silly, playful, talking for hours on end about anything we pleased. We kept each other grounded, comforted each other, gave each other honest feedback, and challenged each other.

And then... we burned away to nothing.

At first, you said it was because you had resentments. From the obligations, the, "responsibilities," of loving me. Because you didn't like the way you treated me.

And -

I wasn't enough of partner. I didn't contribute enough. I didn't care enough about things. I was too messy. I couldn't change my habits quickly enough for you to see change. My lack of, "progress," meant I didn't care enough because they were about the things you articulated as, "concerns," or, "conflicts," for you.

I won't deny those things. Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. All have flaws. Those were my weaknesses, but were not things I let stay stagnant.

I changed my habits that were built over a lifetime. I worked and finally figured out how to handle my personal mental health issues. I took steps to become more stable financially. I tried to understand more of what makes you tick, what makes you passionate.

You couldn't see the changes, so, "they don't count for anything."

But really, what it boiled down to for you was simply this:

You let go.

You stopped trying.

You want to see if the grass is greener on the other side.

And you can say all that you want, really - that I pushed you too far, that you tried for so long to keep it in, but really...

You never REALLY loved me. If you had, the resentments you kept all those years could never have truly taken root the way they did. Or if you did, it was very superficial.

Scorekeeping isn't loving. Scorekeeping is biased, fosters resentments, and makes it impossible to see the joy, smiles, and sweet moments that should be cherished memories.

And you KNEW. But no steps were made to fix the problem. When asked to stop the scorekeeping, the simple answer was,

"I can't."

I fought to the bone for you. I bettered myself, one step at a time to be a better person and partner for you.

Was it fast? No - but addressing issues in a relationship is not meant to change a person. The goal is not to make the other person into the ideal partner.

It's to be the best partner for your person, as your best self.

Where one is weak, the other is strong, and helps their partner to their feet. Flaws and strengths complement each other and create balance. Cracks and holes in the foundations are filled and reinforced, becoming stronger as the two work together.

The work is arduous, long, and full of tears. But the end result is joy, love, and peace built with the strength that the partners have found together by overcoming those issues.

I was willing to stay by your side to help you find your happiness, to take your steps to your best self.

But you weren't ready to take those steps. To move your own legs.

I understand now.

I wish you had simply told me earlier, so I could have let go before I fell.