To my ex bestfriend on her wedding day

Today, I woke up and found out that the person who used to be my best friend got married. The first word that came to my mind was, "wow." Not in a negative or gossip girl way. It was more of an astonished or amazed way. I mean, time is flying so fast that it's hard to keep track. Before I got out of bed, I felt the memories flashing back to me. It was surreal.

We did almost everything together. I was at her house so frequently that it was as if I lived there. We had the most fun sleepovers and parties. Oh, how I loved her family and they loved me too. We were very vocal about our friendship. People knew we were bestfriends. We were inseparable. To be honest, I still have a few of our pictures.

One morning back in high school, she called me saying that she forgot to wear a bra because she was so sleepy when she was rushing to get ready. She was already near our school and I was still at home so I brought her one of my sportsbras. We met at the girls' restroom at campus and laughed about it. She thanked me for being there for. She may not have known this but she didn't actually have to thank me. I knew she would've done the same.

Here's another story; a favorite of mine. It was our senior year and a girl in my class called me out for reminding the teacher about a homework. No, I wasn't that type of student but I just felt the urge to tell the teacher, just because. When classes were dismissed, I told her about that girl. We were going down the stairs of the building where our classrooms were located. She saw the girl a few steps below us and started yelling at her, asking her what her problem was. She said she was going to push her down the staircase. Everyone heard. I was laughing because that girl who called me out in the classroom was suddenly shaking in fear. I had a person who defended me without hesitation. She'd never let anyone bully me and get away with it. I wish I could say that I did the same for her, but she was always tougher than me. Not that we were mean girls or anything. When it came to guys, I always made sure that she was treated right. In my eyes, she deserved nothing less.

In the year 2016, we spent Valentine's day together. I was single, but not jealous of other girls who got to go on dates with their boyfriends. I was genuinely happy not having a guy in my life, because I had her. I don't remember whether or not she was dating someone at that time. Even if she was, she still chose to be with me on that February 14th. That says a lot about the kind of person she was to me. She was selfless.

Those are just some of our countless happy memories. I don't know why but I suddenly remembered how much fun we used to have. We had the best of times.

We had a whole group of friends in high school. It was our "inner circle." We all hung out every single day in between classes, and after school at a milktea shop. I loved and cherished my high school years because of them. Among everyone in that group, I was closest to 2 of them. One is still my bestfriend up to this day. But the other one was her. She was a major part of my teenage life. She knew if something was wrong without me having to say a word. She also knew exactly how to cheer me up. She was the person I told all of my secrets to, and she told me all of hers. I never feared being judged by her.

I remember us talking about major life events such as this. Marriage. We were so close that one can assume we'd be each other's bridesmaids at our weddings. We talked about seeing the world together. We planned going to places on our bucketlist. I was so excited.

We aren't on speaking terms anymore. In fact, we haven't talked for more than 2 years now. But when I saw her pictures on my other bestfriend's Instagram, I realized that I'm really okay now. Somehow, the issue that broke up our friendship seems so small and irrelevant. There was not even an ounce of anger or pain. I felt nothing else in my heart but pure happiness for her.

I guess what I'm trying to say is: time really does heal. I don't know if you guys, my readers, have noticed but I didn't write about the problems we had or whatever stupid thing it was that destroyed our bond. I felt no need to do that because I've grown to see that maybe it was meant to happen. Maybe we were meant to fall apart. Maybe there are people who aren't meant to stay in our lives forever. And that's alright.

So to my ex bestfriend,

I don't know if you will ever be able to read this, but if you do, I hope it finds you well.

There was a time when I'd go above and beyond for you knowing you'd do the same. We're far from that now because of the series of events that took place in the past. Whenever I'd hear about bestfriends who broke up, I used to always think, "That's never gonna happen to us." But it did. We broke up. It was more painful than breaking up with a boyfriend.

It's okay. I'm okay, and I know you are too.

I will never understand why it had to happen to us, but all I can say is that I am extremely and sincerely grateful for the time we've shared. I've now healed from the past. Although I'm still building my future and turning into the woman I aspire to become, I'm happy with where I am today. I only hope that you're in a similar state, or even better.

Things may never go back to how they were before, our children may never hear our stories, and we may continue to be strangers from here on out, but know that in my heart, you were there.

I may not have been able to give a speech at your wedding, but I hope someone else did. I hope they talked about how your spectacular beauty is actually a reflection of your soul. I hope they told your groom to take good care of you. I may not know your husband, nor the person you are today, but I knew you. A person with the most contagious smile. A person filled with so much love and light. I hope that joyful spirit of yours is still there. I hope he treats you like royalty. I hope he knows that you deserve every good thing that this world has to offer.

I'm 100% certain that your future will be bright and glorious. I know you'll go far and do big things. This might have been the best day of your life but it doesn't end there. There's so much more in store for you and your marriage. Life has just begun. May you be able to embrace it. I'm so happy that you've found love and happiness and I wish nothing but good things for you.

Thank you for once being a part of my life.

Sincerely,

The girl who used to be your ride or die, your partner in crime, your bestfriend.