To Love and To Be Loved By You

I'm a sensual human being. I yearn to be ignited physically, mentally, and emotionally. I want to love and to be loved.

And I want to watch a story unfold before my eyes that stirs something deep in my soul.

As someone who cannot stand remaining still, both in a physical sense and in life, I am constantly on the prowl for the next thing. The next job prospect, the next date night location, the next Saturday cafe spot, the next favourite outfit, the next good book. And, as many in this modern era of Netflix, Stan, and all that jazz, the next binge-worthy TV show.

For me, a TV show has 1 episode to grip me. As a fierce believer in the concept of not judging a book by its cover, or, I suppose, a TV show by its pilot episode, this is completely contradictory of me. Despite this, I won't deny you the truth, dear reader. A TV show has 1 single episode to grab my attention, stir something in me, and deserve the right for me to sign my soul over to it for the long haul.

Now, readers, I'm a romantic. Can you tell? I've been with my high school sweetheart for almost four years now, and every day he still manages to surprise me, and my love for him grows every single day. As we both approach the big TWO ONE, my expectation for romance and romantic stories are through the roof. I know it exists. I live it every day. I feel it every minute.

If what I feel can't be replicated on my screen by acting professionals, what hope is there for us as a species? What hope is there at all, if we are unable to reproduce a tangible human emotion in an intimate moment between two individuals? Am I imagining this feeling? Is it real? Few TV shows reinforce my faith in the classic love story that others fall so drastically short on.

Perhaps, I am just too picky. Perhaps, I have built up my own pre-conceived notions of love and romance to the point that nothing could ever compare. Or, perhaps, I just know what it is to love and to be loved, and I want viewers who may not have had the chance to experience this to live it vicariously through a fictional tale.

If you are well-equipped with social media, Netflix, or, quite frankly, just some form of technology, you would have heard of the Bridgerton series that chose to grace our screens at the end of 2020. My dear readers, 2020 was a shit-fest, to put it lightly. Putting aside all of our human differences, that is one thing the entire world could collectively agree upon for once. For a fleeting moment, we could all sit there and say, "Well, this one is a write-off". Good riddance. See you never, 2020.

So, Bridgerton. Witty, wonderful, romantic, and, oh goodness, raunchy. With a capital R. And, possibly a capital AUNCHY, too.

Now, I pre-warned you at the very beginning that I am a sensual being. Interpret that as you wish. Not in a 'I want to see everyone jump each other's bones' kind of way, pardon my crude language. More of a 'I'm understanding of how important intimacy is in a relationship and seeing it represented so artistically on screen is invigorating in ways I cannot necessarily explain' kind of way. There is a sense of urgency, desperation, desire, and love, in every intimate scene. There are subtle touches, low whisperings, intense gazes. There is the question of consent and the confirmation of consent - Hallelujah.

I have seen so many series butcher the true nature of intimacy by depicting it as non-vocal (aside from the dramatic groans and moans from our dear actors and actresses), excluding the importance of small 'check-point' words throughout the experience to validate both parties and their personal enjoyment. My goodness, it is normal to talk during sex. Normalise talking during sex. I'm not talking whole conversations about political affairs or your plans for the weekend. I'm talking about checking in with your partner, making sure they're okay with what you're doing, having them make sure you're okay with what they are or want to do. Too taboo for you? Too bad. It's honest.

Anyways, I'm rambling. I do apologise for my inability to be concise. It's the downside to being a researcher in real life. Back to Bridgerton.

I didn't rush into this series. In fact, I held back from starting the show for weeks because all I heard or read at every turn was how incredible this show is. I'm stubborn. So what? Sue me. It's like what they say about too much of a good thing. All I heard was how amazing this show was, so how could it possibly live up to the hype of dozens of grade A reviews by absolutely every person I knew? How could it possibly live up to my expectations of how romance should be portrayed on screen? To my own fairytale in real life?

One late evening, I decided to bite the bullet. Give in to temptation. And, dear reader, I wish I hadn't waited weeks to watch it. I kept an open mind and pretended as though I did not have the eyes of every person in my micro world weighing on me, watching me to ensure I did not ruin the very idea of this series they had manufactured in their mind. I watched and watched. And then, I kept watching. I kept watching until I had watched all eight episodes in one night. As I neared the frightful hour of one 'o'clock in the morning, my house eerily silent and my eyes drooping, I closed my laptop, laid my head down, and stared up at the ceiling. Hot damn. Those suckers had been right all along.

So, there you have it, dear readers. My expectations of love, passion, and intimacy were well and truly met. Yes, I sound picky and potentially a little pretentious. Yes, my expectations inevitably set me up for disappointment when trialing a new show. However, this show made it all worthwhile. Bridgerton singlehandedly restored my faith in fictional love stories and reinforced that my formula for enjoying a TV show might not be so bad after all.

That's all I ask for in a TV show, reader. An authentic love story with an honest depiction of what it is to be intimate, both emotionally and physically. An authentic love story with an honest depiction of what it is to love and to be loved. That is my formula.

In saying so, this brings me to the purpose of why you're here today reading my piece. If this, then what?

If this: Bridgerton, then that: Sanditon. I know what you're thinking. Sanditon sounds like the unruly cousin of the crowned royalty in a well-respected land. No? Just me?

Sanditon is lesser known (I told you: unruly cousin) because of the platform it calls its home. No, it is not on Netflix (aka, the crowned royalty). Nor Stan (second in line for the throne). It can, in fact, be found on the Prime Video or Binge streaming services. This historical tale is based on the unfinished novel by Jane Austen of the same name, and is her final piece of work before her untimely demise in the early 1800's. I promise you, that is the only bit of history you'll hear from me. Though, I will remind you that we are discussing historical series here, and random tidbits of historical references will undoubtedly arise. Regardless, it has been dubbed the 'closest living relative' of our beloved Bridgerton historical adaptation.

Now, let's see how it scales against my formula for what makes a binge-worthy romance series:

1. An honest depiction of what it is to be intimate: Yes, from the very first episode. Although I do maintain that the intimate scenes in Bridgerton are unmatched, the Sanditon representation closely aligns with the scandalous nature of physical intimacy depicted in the historical time period in which these series are set. TV shows set in modern times ruin the intricities of intimacy because sex is so much less taboo than it was all those years ago, and there is no desperate desire or longing for another that is so readily seen in historical pieces. This is just one factor that contributes to my love for this show and how it portrays physical and emotional intimacy to such extent.
2. An honest depiction of what it is to love and to be loved: I am all for happy endings, especially when it comes to love stories. My 15-year-old sister would cringe at that. She's an anti-romance show kind of girl. She wants the action, the uncertainty, the cliffhanger. I want the resolve. And given that I do want the resolve, you, my readers, may be questioning why I would have chosen to recommend this series at all. Much unlike the typical Jane Austen novel, this show does not end with a definitive happy ending, or a resolve. The series did well to follow the Austen archetype up until this point, however she was a woman of passion that wanted to see her fictional characters live happily and conclusively with that passion. But, it was done well. Really well. And although the series was never confirmed for a second season, I can only hope that the love story would have been nurtured and flourished. It's honest, that's for sure. Love is not easy, nor is it straight forward. It also does not always work out for the best.

I won't bore you with a million different suggestions derived for my undying love of Bridgerton. However, in saying that, I do have one more recommendation for you that holds a special place in my heart. Here we go.

If this: Bridgerton, then that: Reign. It sounds thrilling, right? I'm all for the one-word titles.

Reign did surpass the dreaded uncertainty of a second season renewal and managed to go on for an entire four seasons. Quite notably, too. Unlike our underdog Sanditon, this series earned a place in the home of our second in line, the Stan streaming service. Personally, I believe Stan has some stunning historical series on its platform. And, for me, this one well and truly takes the cake.

In all honesty, and at risk of sounding like an absolute loser, I believe a large portion of my love for this show stems from the fact that I can see a lot of myself in the main character, Mary, Queen of Scots. She is young and forced into a position of power due to circumstances beyond her control. She is naive, and perhaps too trusting, but she is strong. And, more than anything, she is desperate for an honest love. This series does not possess the same witty undertones of our classic Bridgerton and is a heavier watch overall. It is dramatic, a little dark, and certainly scandalous. As someone who has always felt that they grew up a little too fast, I loved seeing the portrayal of the toll this can take on a young girl's maturity on screen. Her poise and leadership is breathtaking.

Like I said, I could tell you this until my face is blue. You can choose whether or not to believe my sincerity. Let's take it to the drawing board (aka, the glorious 'formula').

1. An honest depiction of what it is to be intimate: A big difference in the intimacy depicted in Bridgerton and Reign is that it is a much slower burn in the latter. Which, for all intents and purposes, is actually an incredibly honest depiction of how intimacy can develop between some individuals. Mary is unsure of those around her with the heightened political tensions of the time and being a historical adaptation she does not have the capacity to be intimate with a man without some form of promise or intention of marriage. And that, my dear readers, is what stirs something in my soul. When there is any form of romantic touch, it is secretive, it is desire, and it is passionate. You can feel the sense of urgency in their romance, and it wholeheartedly transcends to the audience.
2. An honest depiction of what it is to love and to be loved: No spoilers here, I promise. Sometimes, love is not immediate. It is not always earth-shattering. It does not always sweep you off your feet in one swift motion. Sometimes, love is truly a slow burn. Whether that be because you are holding yourself back from feeling your truth, or because you have not yet realised the potential the person before you has to transform your perspective on love entirely. Readers, Reign well and truly portrays this exact concept for all to see. Is there subtle hints that indicate potential love between two characters earlier on? Of course. What would a dramatic TV show be without such? However, does it actually give in to your desperation and offer you something solid to hold on to early on in the series? Most certainly not. What I will tell you, dear readers, is that it is one of the most honest displays of what it means to love and to be loved that I have had the pleasure of witnessing. Check and check.

I will leave you here, now. Thank you, my dearest readers. Thank you for giving me a platform to be open and honest, to be a little bit cheeky, and to be unapologetically myself. I hope my piece has highlighted to you the excitement of being the one to love and the one to be loved. Please, never stop loving.

A final thank you to my high school sweetheart, for teaching me what it means to have a love that is genuine, comfortable, exciting, and ever-evolving. Thank you for allowing me to see what true love is. Every bit of advice I have offered in this piece has stemmed from the love we share. To be loved by you is quite exceptional. That is all I could ever ask for the rest of my days - to be loved by you.

All my love.