To all the women I know

I know a lot of amazing women (i gave birth to two of them) what ive found they don't always realise (me included) is that they are funny, kind, super sassy in the best way, absolutely amazing, great people to go to for advice and are fiercely protective of people they love.

Now how many of you think all the things above are true of you, not many im sure, well i believe all these things about you and it prompted me to write this…..enjoy you are all Queens to me!!!

Accept there are things you cannot change.

One of the hardest things about being a grown up is that we try to manage everything in our lives and the lives of the little people (furry babies too)we care about, this is fine in principle but in reality sometimes there are things that we don't have any influence over. Unfortunately most of us (me included) spend such a long time trying to “fix” everything that nothing changes and we feel like a failure. The answer make small changes do one a day if you want because as we figure out the smaller things we can control we have more days that feel like wins giving us more reserves in the tank so when something big comes along we are better prepared. Rome wasn't built in a day!!

Have YOU time.

This is NOT selfish, trust me i know it feels like it when you are being hyper stalked by either a little person, partners, friends or family but if you don't take time out to reset you will have nothing to give anyone else. Plan a time that is just yours let everyone know and have a pamper session, read, take a long bubble bath with candles (and wine or gin), put on some tunes and dance about just whatever makes you happy and relaxed, you could also totally write a blog telling people to do things you hardly ever do but really need to…..its fun!

Understand your worth

This is a big one. Many people tie self worth to how they look (if they didn't the whole diet industry would have a breakdown) but we are all worth so much more. If you really want the most honest answer to how people see you or what they love most about you ask the nearest little person your related too or your brother or sister (be ready they are pretty savage) i imagine the first thing they say wont be “well your just so good looking and thin”. Kids don't care what you look like because what they want is someone who will support them, be there to give all the hugs, spend time doing puzzles and more recently school work, long walks outside to the park and just being a there for them no matter what. All of these things are on the inside not the outside so although its fine to tie self worth to looks remember there is so much more that makes up you as a person and there are people who love you no matter what you look like and what you do for them makes you the most beautiful person in the world.

Ask for help

This is a tough one for me and if you've read what I've written before you will know this is a constant struggle for me. Rational me knows as human beings we need people and if the pandemic has taught us nothing it has to be that what we missed the most (after the pub) is having people around us to laugh with us, cry with us, gives us a hug and give us a hard time when we need it. When we are in isolation (and yes you can be in a house full of people and feel isolated) the only voice we are listening to is our own and that's toxic because most of our inner voices are pretty petty to varying degrees (mine is a boot) normally we would see friends and family and they would give us a talking too but that's hard over text because you can hide behind an “okay” or “all good”.

We fall in the trap sometimes of thinking our problem's aren't as big as other peoples and do we really want to bother people with our issues….people who love you will never care how big or small the issue is they just want to know you are okay. If telling friends/family you are having a hard time is difficult then write a text and just say “im not okay” they may not be able to solve the problems for you and maybe you don't actually want them too but we all need someone to listen and remind us how amazing we are every now and again (and just incase any of you need to hear it “YOU ARE AMAZING”).