Thread tracing a Dream

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” For a long time I thought I was born to be a designer, it's not a choice but the path life chose for be. After living a bit over a third of a lifetime I've come to realize the former is true, a lot of opportunity and even more obstacles present themselves however what matters is the choices you make and in a field as impossibly competitive as fashion you need to keep making that decision over and over again no matter how many times you feel you've gone ten steps back you need to keep taking that one step forward and fighting the odds.

I grew up far from the glamour of the fashion world in a small town in Pennyslvania where there was one gas station, one grocery store and not many options other than hanging out in the park or at a friends. My family didn't have the means to buy new clothing as I still have memories of rolling pennies in those crisp paper wrappers with the colorful stripes indicating what coins were inside.

Growing up my Mom was very crafty and resourceful. She loved to cross stitch and sew quilts out of used clothing past its prime. I watched in awe of something tattered and useless became useable art, the sewing machine was access to create anything you can imagine and I wanted to be a part of that. At the ripe age of 6 I started on my first fashion journey of embroidery, I rummaged through my Mother's cross stitch bag and found embroidery floss and a scrap of fabric. I decided on stitching daisy and took a shot at creating something myself. When I finished after a few hours of meticulous hand work for a stick figure version of a daisy I presented it as a gift to my Mom. She was amazed at the workmanship so she framed and displayed it promptly where it sat for years. It's funny how something so insignificant can potentially impact us for the rest of our lives, I still to this day think of that daisy.

My Mom often had to go away for months at a time as I was growing up. By middle school I had learned to sew and would help my Mom with her quilt making. As I got older I got very tired of thrifted and hand me down clothing, I was at the "I want to be like the cool kids" stage of adolescence.

A school dance was coming up, my first school dance mind you and I NEEDED something cool to wear. My Mom was away again and I decided I would claim the sewing machine as my own while she was gone to use for the coolest outfit ever, everyone would have to notice me at the dance. I rummaged through my Mom's closet and found a sleek jet black velvet maxi skirt and fell in love with the material. I decided I would make a tank style shirt with a shirred tie detail on the side and embroider a prominent red and green cherry on the front right shoulder. I got to sewing and two days, and a LOT of seam ripping later I had exactly what I wanted (the days before learning what patterns, muslins and mannequins are). I was the talk of the dance, or at least I like to remember it that way.

That one spark, the embroidery, lit a fire and set me up for a lifetime of daily sewing and creating clothing and accessories. But I wanted more, and felt I was meant for more. I moved out of my parents house my freshman year of high school and started working a series of jobs some self employed such as teaching dance and some miserable retail that I would spend the days sketching my next fashion piece at the register between customers. I told everyone I could I would move to NYC and be a "real" fashion designer.

After I graduated high school I went through community college fully funded and received an associates degree in graphic design. While I was taking classes there I took many art courses and decided I would apply to FIT in NYC (I googled the top fashion schools and was determined). During my painting classes I continually painted fashion figures and designed clothing, my classmates said I should be in NYC and I took it as a sign I was going in the right direction. By the end of my degree I had my whole portfolio to apply and sent it in. As I waited for a response I got a job in a screen printing company and had a calendar above my work station crossing off every day till I could potentially be where I belonged. I saved every dime I had to move.

One day a giant white envelope stuffed full with a giant blue FIT emblazoned on the front, I was a ball of nerves and couldn't open it for a good couple of hours. I finally got the courage and tore it to shreds, inside was pamphlets and information for the school and well as a crisp white folded letter I quickly scanned.... "WAITLISTED" I was waitlisted, my heart sank not even knowing fully what this meant.

I did get a second letter and there was not enough enrollment so I got in! My family's reaction when I blurted out the news ecstatically was "You don't have the money to go there". I did it anyways and I am still in New York now. I graduated FIT being the only person to have had two Senior Garments walk the infamous graduation Runway. I have worked and been in the offices of top brands including Oscar De La Renta, Pamella Roland, Kate Spade, Zac Posen, Carolina Herrera etc. and have been living my dreams everyday. The struggle isn't over yet, I am now in the process of launching my own brand and consulting for other brands who are starting up as well. I hope I push past this hurdle as with every other so far....wish me luck.