Thoughts and Confessions From A Single Person
It's also about self confidence
When I sat down to write this personal piece about me, I was hesitant and unsure of how I wanted to let my thoughts out. Hesitant because sharing such thoughts would undoubtedly give me a sense of vulnerability.
A thought kept nudging me relentlessly into sharing my thoughts nonetheless.
It's risky to be vulnerable but at the same time, it might be well worth it - something that you might need to do.
This is about being single in a world that seems like everyone else is in a relationship. It's also about self confidence.
Maybe someone will find this story and be able to relate to it. Maybe as someone reads this, they’ll realize that they aren’t as alone as they thought they were and in turn maybe I won't feel so alone.
These thoughts were the very motivation I needed to get these thoughts out and to share with anyone that happens upon this.
I’m one of those few that has known a majority of their life being single than they were not. The last time I was in a relationship felt like a lifetime ago. Save for one fairly short-lived relationship of two years, I’ve never really dated. Being with someone has always felt so foreign to me even when I was in a relationship. At one point, I wasn’t used to saying I was with someone.
Maybe that was a lack of confidence on my part.
I should make it clear that before I go any further that this is not a pity story of sorts in which I’m sad and frustrated about being lonely and never really being with someone.
In fact, it is the opposite. At least that is what my every intention is.
I’ve (almost) always been single not because I was unfortunate with dating but because I chose to be. I’ve never really dated whatsoever because quite honestly, it’s just not for me. Both online dating and the preferred old-fashioned way.
It’s not for me simply because I’m not really looking for anyone and I don't feel like anything's missing. That doesn't mean I wouldn't ever want to get into a relationship some day.
But the way I want to fall into a relationship is to fall into it gradually! That’s it! Let the feelings between me and another unfold and happen naturally! One should never rush into a relationship and I certainly don't want to.
I have never wanted to seek out a relationship just to satisfy loneliness or to fulfill societal pressure although I have been tempted plenty of times.
It might just be me alone when it seems like everyone around me has a match (trust me, it might seem that way, but it’s really not!), but I am confident being alone. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t ever want to be with someone when the right opportunity comes.
That doesn’t mean I don’t get romantic feelings every now and then that breach and crack through my icy cynicism. As much as I roll my eyes and say I'm not really a romantic, maybe deep down in a down to earth sense, I really am.
Alone, but surely not lonely, a fire of confidence burns inside me only threatened to be smoldered out by the occasional uncertainty and doubt. I only hope that the confidence I feel inside me radiates like the brightest beacon in the darkest night.
So here is me being vulnerable writing my thoughts late into the night.
It might just be me alone but for right now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
About the Creator
Jasmine Aguilar
Fascinated by pop culture and its effect on society... movies, music, books.. and pretty much anything.
I love writing and write a little bit of everything including a science fiction WIP!
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/J.A.Rose
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Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Comments (15)
https://www.bbcode.org
well done
This is a great piece , I enjoyed reading it !!!
The most important lesson I've learned in online dating https://hitwe.com/latin/ is that before seeking a partner, you first need to love yourself. Entering the world of online dating without a strong sense of self-worth can lead to frustration or disappointment. When you take time to understand and appreciate who you are, it becomes much easier to form genuine connections with others. Loving yourself means recognizing your own strengths and accepting your flaws. It’s about understanding your value, knowing what you bring to a relationship, and setting healthy boundaries. When you’re confident in who you are, you attract people who respect and appreciate you for the right reasons. In online dating, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to impress others or seeking validation. However, when you approach it with self-love, you’re more focused on finding someone who complements you rather than completing you. You’re not desperate to find someone to fill a void but instead looking for a partner who enhances your already fulfilling life.
Absolutely related to you :)
Thanks for sharing Jasmine. I think it is important to get to the place where you are when single. To be in sounds very balanced. After a 28 year marriage ended (that wasn't a good one for so long), I so much wanted to find 'my person'. I needed to go through many years learning to like being single.
There needs to be a new word to express what it does to a reader when someone they've never met writes things never before seen and it is so deeply resonant. I got you from the first paragraph. No pity. No sorrow. No deficits. Gurrrl, I could hug you! My partial take on this: Socialisation weaves a web so tight 24/7 that many adapt/grow into its comfort. When other ways of "being" are not seen/felt, It can be hard to explain/express what is desired. How do you explain 4-dimensional existence to a 2-dimensional being? Common ground/reference points are a struggle and a half. My peace and centeredness ultimately said, "I can't be the only soul in existence who thinks this way." I believe that I was destined for greater experiences than what society pushed in my face as the norm. That gradual and natural connecting with someone over time--no pressure or awkwardness. Expectations kicked to the curb. Respect and freedom for another on cosmic levels and that...well that's just the beginning. Thank you so much for embracing this vulnerable space and sharing!
Nicely write it.
I love this! Well written
Very nice article 🤔 Confidence has never been something that comes naturally to me. Or unnaturally, I don’t actually know what it feels like to be confident. I’ve always been told that we have to love ourselves before we can love someone else, so I quit dating (not that I had anything to quit) to try and learn how to do that. No progress yet but at least I’m working on it eh?
Thank you for this beautiful piece.
The timing of me seeing this story couldn't have been more perfect. I was just explaining to someone that I was fine with being single for the time being. I think the biggest thing about being single is your perspective. Like anything else you have to look at the positive side. I enjoy the freedom I have and am continually growing into a better person everyday.
Love this article and your belief in yourself. Being in a relationship should in no way define the person someone actually is. Well done.
Brilliant to read this perspective.
It is written very beautifully. In solitude, we all have an opportunity to understand ourselves. 👍