There's One Hell Of A Party Coming

There is a celebration coming soon and I'm already excited! If you feel the excitement, you're not alone. I'm so excited that I can't hide it! Don't worry, I won't lose control, but I want to!

There are so many reasons to think the world sucks. But in the middle of all the suck, if you look hard enough, there's something behind it all. When the world appears to do nothing but suck, do you ever hear an old seaman in your head?

"Thar she blows!"

Why am I so excited? A better question would be, why not? It is, after all, the beginning of the new year. And with any new year comes new challenges to beat. After last year, what can't I do?

I ordered party supplies and a giant cake for the cake-eaters. When they arrive I can start planning the party and putting together a guest list. I'll leave the cake alone until the party, but I'm betting it tastes like Heaven.

Have you ever held a drink in your hand? The red cups are popular at parties but aren't very practical. Soft plastic cups make any drink messy at a party. They don't hold up well, are easy to tip over, and so convenient people forget they have them in their hands. I better move the party outside!

I can put the keg outside, light a bonfire, and it is time to make smores. This party isn't for kids, but the fat kid in me loves smores. If you've never had smores with beer from a red cup, you haven't lived as full a life.

For the adults, we'll also have a variety of tasty treats. Once the grill is fired up we'll have grilled bratwurst, smash burgers, corn on the cob, and grilled tacos. Did I mention the spiked punch? Get ready for a little crazy!

Have you ever wanted to run around crazy and naked with all of your closest friends? Nope, me neither! But I did order enough booze that there might be a load of firsts at this nasty little swaray. I wouldn't be surprised if the house ends up with a nuke in the middle of it!

My buddy wants to help. He said he was going to take care of the entertainment. I said yes until I was reminded of this one time he was taking care of the entertainment. All he had to do was pick up two twelve-packs of beer. Somehow, we ended up speeding away as a bar full of guys chased him out.

Something tells me, the next time he went into a bar and noticed there weren't any women and the fellows were being very chummy, he didn't take so long to realize the type of bar he was standing in. It made the rest of us feel like we were the cops nobody liked in Police Academy. One of those fellows invited my buddy Donovan to a party at Levis. In hindsight, we think it was a party in his Levis.

If he's calling strippers, I hope he calls the right number. Nothing personal, but no-dong lap dances are okay. Anything else, that's a different party.

Why the party?

48,524!

With everything else going on, I'm excited that as a would-be writer, I'm so close to my first goal of the year that I can smell success. And I'm ready to shout it to the five people that might hear me. As we enter into the 25th year of the 21st century, I'm enjoying the idea of crossing such a milestone. It'll make a great start to the year.

My excitement causes me to realize where I am. I open my eyes to an all too familiar sound.

"Buzz, Buzz, Buzz," it repeats.

Crap, I'm not throwing a party! I'm waking up from a weird dream.