There's No Escaping The Want For Outside Validation

At some point in your journey of life, you may gain this strong inner peace inside of yourself to not need outside validation like you used to — if you craved it at all? And it’s a great place to be. The strong love you have for yourself conquers that need/want for validation from your peers, your family, friends, and society at large.

You eventually learn that tough truth that all validation isn’t given out equally. Some people will get a lot more validation from others than we ever will in life. It’s a sobering reality, but, a reality that must be accepted. But, you’ve received enough evidence over the years that shows you are loved, appreciated, and valued by those that enjoyed your company.

So, you’re good! You content on the validation…or so you thought? The advice several writers give on having inner validation is sound and a must for everyone. The only problem is, that voice for outside validation never really goes away. It may hide in the shadows for a while until it decides to come out and introduce itself to you again.

‘’Hey reader, it is I again…Validation.’’ This feeling can creep up on social media and in real life. You see someone getting a tremendous amount of validation from others and think ‘’I sure would like some more validation from others just to make me feel better again’’.

Inner Validation is great to have, but, it can only hold off that craving for outside validation for so long before it catches our attention and makes us believe we don’t have enough validation from others.

In our heart of hearts, we all want validation for our work or just as human beings. We want to feel that we matter and that we make a difference in other people’s lives either online or off. Whether it’s writing, working on our job, or our attractive attributes.

When we don’t get that healthy amount of validation, it can cause us to believe that people around us don’t care about us enough to validate our existence to others. We even wonder ‘’what must I do to get the validation I want?’’ It’s a terrible internal problem to have.

Now, certain people can go to the extreme for this validation, by doing anything for people to notice them. This could possibly lead those individuals to self-destruction if they aren’t careful.

The love & validation we want will always be in the shadows to remind us from time to time. All it takes is a post online, seeing someone we (secretly) envy, or another scenario to trigger that want for outside validation. An important step is to acknowledge these feelings inside of us and be honest with ourselves.

Tring to shame those who have the craving for outside validation from others is not the answer, it’s only going to fuel the frames when they can’t conceal the want for more validation, and then it explodes like the top of a volcano. It’s too much shaming from ‘’helpers’’ who are assisting with the problem rather than helping solve it.

This is why you have so many people on social media sites and perform on these short video clips for millions of watchers. Sure, certain ones want to entertain and give joy to their watchers. But, too many want that validation from many to make them feel like they’re someone people.

The truth is we’re all important to someone or several people in our way. Sometimes, we may take it for granted because we want the next ‘’validation’’ high. But it’s important to think about the people in our lives who validate us by showing how much they appreciate us every day. It won’t take away the craving for more validation, but, it can contain it in an effective way.

‘’When you see validation for a life’s work and dedication, it’s a beautiful day. ‘’

Mary Gauthier