There are Winners and Losers

I grew up in the age of winners and losers.

I am a product of the 70's and 80's. Every Saturday evening, my family huddled around the television and watched ABC's Wide World of Sports. Host Jim McCay started each broadcast with the following monologue, "Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sports... the thrill of victory... and the agony of defeat... the human drama of athletic competition... This is "ABC's Wide World of Sports!" I stopped watching the show in the late 80's, but the phrase "Thrill of victory and the agony of defeat," has stuck with me. I learned both ends of the spectrum at an early age.

I lost at the school's spelling bee two years in a row. I dominated my homeroom competition, but when the best were pitted against the best, I fell short. At the Awards ceremony, I wasn't issued a trophy or certificate. The moderator did thank all of the students for participating, but only the top three earned recognition in the newspaper and a plaque.

I played basketball from the 5th grade - 8th grade. We won some. We lost some. At the end of each game we lined up and shook hands with our opponent in a show of sportsmanship. We celebrated our victories and suffered the sting of losses. Most importantly, we learned our best wasn't always good enough. With this knowledge, we pledged to work harder and improve. We fail our children when we shy away from explaining that our best won't always be the best.

As a child and teenager, I participated in contests and games where everyone didn't receive a trophy. This might surprise some, but I didn't suffer emotionally. From the moments of loss, I learned two things: I needed to work harder and capitalize on my strengths. Our Founding Fathers stated, "All men are created equal," but we all aren't gifted equally.

At the conclusion of my 8th grade year I determined to focus on choral music instead of basketball. I sang in the choir and excelled. Every year of High School, I qualified for the State Music Competition and earned a Superior I Rating for my solo, and for my role in a men's quartet, mixed quartet, and a double-mixed quartet. The judges rewarded our talent and hard work. That hard work and vocal practice caught the attention of a few local colleges and I enrolled at a local university on a partial music scholarship. Not everyone gets a music scholarship. Nor should everyone. But we are living in a time when many people believe they deserve to be rewarded for mediocrity.

The movie Parental Guidance pokes fun at the "everyone gets a trophy" generation. Billy Crystal plays the role of grandpa and an out of work minor league baseball announcer in the movie. He attends his grandson's baseball game and learns the league's rules. No one strikes out. No team wins. He's outraged that kids aren't taught the lifeskill of winning and losing. A few nights ago, I witnessed a child storm off when he didn't win a trophy during an awards ceremony. Could this young person be a product of the "we're all winners" ideology?

I know this hurts, but we all aren't winners. But, I believe we all have the potential to win. I can sing. I can't perform brain surgery. Some people say I write well, but wouldn't say the same if they saw me working on a car. Although Providence created us all equal as humans, our endowed gifts differ greatly. They key is finding our niche.

Writing for a platform like Vocal reminds me to stay humble. Earning .005 cents per read pales in comparison to winning a $20,000 grand prize. But when the Little Black Book challenge ended, I didn't demand my piece of the pie. I read the winning entries and pledged to continue honing my skill. I may never win a challenge or even a Top Story position, but that's okay. Writing serves as an outlet, and for now, that's good enough for me.

Winning and losing are a part of life and teaching our children otherwise is a disservice. Sheltering kids from the "agony of defeat" hinders them from understanding the challenges of life, the triumphs and the trials. To raise kids with a bright future, let's teach them how to win and lose. Let's celebrate their victories and encourage them in their defeats. In doing so, we will raise kids prepared for the real world.