The World of Grief and Being Overwhelmed

There are a lot of arguments that we get into from day to day because we’re so imperfect and so unique from one another, and that’s a given by this point. As much as we may try, there are so many things that end up hitting us the wrong way, and there are so many people who we clash with more than we can shake hands with. Yes, in life, there will always be that one person who makes our blood boil, and there’s no escaping that. It’s simply the way the world works.

I’ve accepted that for the most part, but to me there is one specific type of arrogance that I can’t stand, and that’s when I find myself fed up about a subject that I never thought was ever debatable, but that turns out to be –when someone retaliates against a topic you brought up lightheartedly, with full certainty that it’s fact and legit from every way you could look at it and when neither of you are able to change your mind despite it. It is painful when nothing you say can make a difference, physically, mentally and emotionally.

What I mean is this. Just the other day, a coworker came across a strange fan encounter with a celebrity that was recorded on social media, and was on every level inappropriate. She showed me the video and in response, I said that it’s insane that though celebrities are put up on a pedestal and idolized as much as they are, many of them are treated like animals at the same time, as if they weren’t human beings but in a zoo. Surprised, she looked at me with these bulging eyes and responded that it didn’t matter how they were treated when out in public because they were paid accordingly and it came with the job of being an actress or a singer. In other words, if they didn’t want those kinds of interactions, they should’ve never pursued doing something that they loved doing.

I was even more surprised than she was. I was pretty certain that what I was saying was common sense, and that their description was purely degrading to a beautiful and hardworking part of humanity that is willing to share their talent with us. There are the rotten ones here and there, of course there always are, but that goes for every individual to every group that exists whatever way you put it.

Still, I did think about it and tried to see it from her perspective and understand it in a new light. I thought about it personally too, and I couldn’t help but to come to the same conclusion. If it were me, I’m exhausted after doing the regular 9-5 job I have, and I don’t necessarily hate it. Actors and actresses are doing what they may have dreamed of doing since they were children, but that doesn’t mean that the work they have to do is easy. It takes patience, learning new skills, improving themselves every single day, and I can’t help but to feel bad for them that after all that effort they put in, they can’t take a step into the unconcealed world without being bothered and robbed of their personal space.

Suddenly because their work is significant and leaving a mark on the world this is allowed? On an earth where the saying ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’ is very well known, we also say that because these people are “paid off” they don’t deserve things that any average person is extremely entitled to? We all deserve the necessities it takes to survive, and this should include respect and honor for everyone, regardless of who they are. I couldn’t shake this thought out of my head.

I don’t know if I regretted that I didn’t say much to my coworker or not. It’s probably more worthy to bet that it would’ve escalated and gotten completely out of hand, but it irritates me that this is a way that people live every single day. This is the mindset that people have. I understand that people have a tendency to worship something, even if it’s another human being not much more than us besides the status they have, and I understand also that our hatred for others, more especially celebrities can stem from the insecurities we have within ourselves, but as an entire society, we would be getting too comfortable to state that ill-treatment to any person was okay, and that it’s not an issue to lose our filters in front of a real human, whether that’s behind a username or a personal meet-up.

Shouldn’t this be more than an opinion or would someone think I'm going crazy? I’m not saying that I’m Miss Flawless. I’ve felt my share of jealousy and hatred for certain well known beings, but I’m big enough to know that this is out of the insecurities that I have as a person. I know that I have to work on myself and that I have no say or right on how other people live their lives, but I like to spend more time loving and praising the ones that I love rather than hating the ones that I hate, or cheering on the hatred other people spread for that matter. I like to observe goodness, and I like the way it feels when I experience positive energy, so I immerse myself in amazing things. It’s in these moments that I appreciate that I have people to look up to, and people who think like me just a fingertip away, in the most shallow and deepest of ideas.

For example, when I lost a very close friend of mine at nineteen, I had a habit of telling myself that the grief I was feeling was a form of love that I didn’t have a place to store anymore and that I didn’t want to lose it because it was a love that wasn’t meant to be forgotten. It was important to me and always will be especially knowing just how sacred life is. In a recent interview with Andrew Garfield on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, he also stated that the grief he was experiencing after the loss of his mother is “an unexpressed love” and that he hopes it stays with him. He emphasized that we never have enough time with each other regardless of the age that someone is lost, and that the work and art he was a part of was in her honor on top of everything it was dedicated to. In his pain, I felt a tap on the shoulder that helped me get through mine.

This is what celebrities do for us. They’re more than actors, singers, songwriters, authors, athletes or whatever else. In their spotlight they remind us that we’re all prone to emotion and that we were built to feel, and yet the average person can act like their position on this planet means they don’t feel at all. It’s a pity that it’s so twisted because through instances like this, I am reminded that I can be as strong as other people are and I can and should take the time to appreciate the little and the great. We’re able to find support and comfort in the resources and connections we are blessed to have in our day and we can create closure, or maybe the opposite – open up completely brand new doors, but only if we keep an eye out and pay attention.

It’s sad that these people can change our lives, and people pretend that they’re deserving of agony. It’s sad that I can’t open their eyes so they can feel it for themselves, but thank God that I have been able to experience it first hand. I will say, please treat each other kindly and hope and pray that it gets somewhere. I can’t sit tight and pretend that the vulnerability and care I’ve seen even if it’s only in the media doesn’t mean anything. It’s helped me and can help the world. Being a celebrity doesn’t mean they’re meant to be trampled on. It means they have a place that can inspire you if you let it. Trust me, I know.

I hope the mindset that says otherwise, like my coworker doesn't last too long. The faster it ends, the sooner we thrive in the inspiration and ray of sunshine, plentiful.

But again, I can only know for myself. I can't change your mind.

That's up to you.