The Untold Power of Friendship

When was the last time you truly appreciated your friends? Not just a casual "Hey, how are you?" text or a quick scroll through their latest social media post, but a moment where you sat back and thought, "This person is part of what makes my life better." If that thought feels like a distant memory, you’re not alone. In the hustle of career ambitions, family commitments, and the endless chase for personal growth, friendship often gets sidelined as a “nice to have” rather than a fundamental piece of who we are.

But here’s the thing: Friendship isn’t just a bonus; it’s essential. It’s the secret ingredient that can transform how we experience life, make us healthier, and even help us thrive professionally. Yet, as adults, especially high-achieving ones, we often don’t work on our friendships the same way we work on our careers or personal goals. So let’s explore why that needs to change.

The True Value of Friendship: More Than Just Hanging Out

Friendship is like a powerful elixir for the soul. Think about a time when you were feeling down, overwhelmed, or lost. Was it your work that saved you? Your relentless dedication to your career? Probably not. Most likely, it was a friend who reached out with a kind word, a listening ear, or just a quiet presence. In those moments, you probably felt more understood, seen, and supported than any professional success could ever make you feel.

Friendship is often underestimated because society glorifies the idea of sacrificing everything for success. We hear stories of entrepreneurs and leaders who gave up everything to make it big. But what we rarely discuss is the cost of those sacrifices: the friendships that get left behind. Many people think they’re good friends simply because they occasionally check in or send a birthday text. But true friendship is so much deeper.

Real friends are the ones who show up when things get messy. They sit with you in your lowest moments, not to fix you, but to be with you. And how often do we do the same for them? Do we make time in our busy schedules to nurture these relationships? Or do we dismiss them because we assume they’ll always be there?

Investing in Friendship: The Ultimate Biohack

Here’s a fascinating insight: Friendship might be the ultimate biohack for mental health. While there’s an entire industry focused on improving our physical health, emotional well-being, and leadership skills, there's barely anything teaching us how to be a better friend. And yet, the benefits of having close friends are profound. Studies have shown that meaningful friendships can help combat stress, depression, anxiety, and even addiction. It’s like a natural antidote to many of the struggles we face in today’s fast-paced, high-pressure world.

Remember the classic rat experiment where rats were given two options: regular water and water laced with drugs? Alone in their cages, the rats quickly got addicted to the drug-laced water. But when placed in a social environment with other rats, wheels to play with, and mazes to explore, they chose plain water instead. The implication? We are social creatures, and when we have a sense of community and connection, we’re less likely to fall into unhealthy habits or addiction.

Now, think of social media and smartphones. These are powerful dopamine-inducing devices that often lead to loneliness rather than connection. If we put more effort into our friendships, both for ourselves and for teaching our children how to be friends, we might find that we’re less dependent on these distractions. Friendship is not just a feel-good concept; it’s a vital part of a healthy life.

Why We Need to Work on Friendships (Yes, Work on Them!)

Here’s a sobering thought: Most of us leave friendships to chance. We become friends with people because we went to school together, worked in the same company, or crossed paths at some point. And while that’s fine, it’s not enough to sustain deep, meaningful friendships over time. Friendships require effort and intentionality, much like a career or a romantic relationship.

When was the last time you sacrificed a meeting or delayed a work commitment to spend time with a friend? It’s easy to cancel on friends because “they’ll understand.” But how often do we move a business meeting because “I’m spending time with a friend”? Rarely. The reality is that true friends will be there for you in ways your work never can. And that’s why we need to invest in these relationships.

Working on friendships means creating shared experiences, checking in regularly, and sometimes putting a friend’s needs above your own. It’s about saying “I love you” and being vulnerable with each other. It’s about being there during tough times—not to fix things, but to sit in the struggle together. It’s also about planning activities and trips, not leaving these moments to chance.

Friendship in the Digital Age: From Social Media to Real Connection

In today’s world, it’s easy to mistake social media interactions for real friendships. You wish someone a happy birthday on Facebook and feel like you’ve done your part. But friendship goes far beyond that. When a friend is struggling, do you take the time to visit them, sit with them, and show that you’re there? Have you ever climbed into bed with a friend just to watch movies and eat ice cream because they needed that comfort?

These moments are what build the trust and depth of real friendships. And here’s the kicker: We don’t build trust by offering help; we build trust by asking for it. When you lean on a friend, you give them the opportunity to show up for you, and that’s what strengthens the bond. When was the last time you reached out to a friend for support, not because you wanted to be strong, but because you wanted to be real?

The Balancing Act: Friendship, Family, and Career

Now, you might be thinking, “I’m already juggling so much—my career, my family, my personal growth. How can I possibly make time for friends?” The answer lies in shifting our perspective. Instead of viewing friendship as an optional luxury, see it as a fundamental part of a fulfilling life. It’s not about squeezing friends into the gaps of your schedule; it’s about prioritizing them alongside everything else.

Imagine if more leaders publicly acknowledged the importance of friendship. If a CEO openly said, “I’m leaving work early today because it’s my friend’s birthday,” it would set a powerful example for others to follow. Friendship is not in competition with family or career; it complements them. A well-balanced life includes all three.

The Ripple Effect of Friendship on Mental Health and Society

We often hear about rising mental health issues, loneliness, and even the radicalization of individuals who feel isolated. There’s a common thread here: a lack of genuine, supportive friendships. When people lack community and connection, they seek belonging elsewhere, sometimes in destructive ways.

Fostering friendships can have a ripple effect on society. When we learn to be better friends, we teach others to do the same. We build communities that support mental well-being and provide a sense of belonging. It’s a chain reaction that can counteract some of the most pressing issues we face today.

Make Friendship a Priority: Starting Now

So, how do we take action? Start by reaching out to a friend. Schedule that dinner, plan that trip, or just call them to talk about what’s really going on in their life. Share your struggles, ask for support, and be there for theirs. It might feel a bit awkward at first, especially if you’ve let some friendships drift, but it’s worth it.

Friendship isn’t just the spice of life; it’s the sustenance. It enriches our experiences, provides support in tough times, and adds depth to our successes. Remember, you’re not just working on your career, family, or personal growth—you’re also building a network of people who make life meaningful. So go ahead, make time for your friends. They’re not just an add-on; they’re an essential part of your journey.