The Timeline

I know that working on my book with my personal experiences of marriage is a working construction project. However, time is on no one’s side! I wanted to give my kids a snapshot of the lives of their mother and father during our marriage. Now of course I will not remember every detail, but can assure you the timeline will have nothing but truth!

For those who are reading this, I hope you look at your own situation, and ask yourself, when am I going to be honest with myself and do what’s right; or continue to live as if my secret life will never come out!

Again, it’s not up to me for you to believe what is written but know this is information in plain sight.

First year of our marriage was not solid because of misunderstanding during our dating phase. Yes, we should not have even tied the knot, but people ignore stuff and move on foolishly. The misunderstanding, yeah, she went into my phone and read messages from past relationships and did not clarify. We discussed the details and I thought things were cool, but that was far from the truth! We moved to Baltimore as she was completing her fellowship in adolescent psychiatry with the University of Maryland. Here is the second problem! She goes to work without her ring on! Now where’s the problem? The back story on this is that she interviewed with this department months prior to our arrival in Baltimore as a single woman.

Later that day, her phone rings with a Baltimore number as she was sleeping. I can’t recall what I was doing at the moment but she was sleeping. I checked the message and it was a male coworker asking if she was ok, and seeing if she needed anything. Well, I called the number from my phone and left a message telling him he didn’t need to check on a married woman and she was fine. He never returned the call, but you see the mistake I made in this situation? Yeah, that was big because what I tell you next is also key!

Weeks later we are shopping for household items and I see this incredibly beautiful woman down the isle. So if she wants to play this game (my wife at the time), then two can play this game. I approached and with no shame made sure my wife saw me. The lady just so happened to be an insurance agent and we were looking for coverage on both of us to start a new family. I played it off as the reason for talking to her and we left the store.

So my wife never asked about the situation in detail but monitored my movements. Days later, she noticed a Baltimore number in my phone. Now both of us not even two months into a city, so who could this be calling me as the thought went through her mind. So time comes and she decides to confront me about the number. She wants to sit down and call the number on speaker phone from her phone. She dials and her coworker answers the phone.

So she ends the call and walks off as I ask her should we continue the conversation of who number this belongs to who she called, thinking it was someone I was trying to cheat with. At this point, all bets are off and we both think each other are faithful is the last thing on our minds. No deep discussion about either situation, but I’m certain that she made it up in her mind that this marriage was over soon as she finished her fellowship.

Our marriage did not start out with full disclosure as she was still in communication with her sugar daddy and I was not honest about completing school! We both lied to each other! However, she was still receiving monetary gifts from her sugar, daddy! I will get into that later.

So Baltimore was a bit rocky and then the triplets came along. This was year two of the marriage. My mother offered to come out and assist because daycare was $900 per child a week in Baltimore. Now my mother and my ex was never cool as my mother did not attend the wedding! My mother wanted to help and there was about a three year span of time where my mother didn’t speak to us. So mother come out and helps with the kids because no one had $2700 a week for daycare!

I come home from work one day and my mother want to go back to Phoenix where my brother lives. She wanted to leave immediately, like next flight out. I go to my ex and ask her what the problem is and she says that my mother makes her feel uncomfortable. I ask her why, but my ex never gave a reason. She just felt uncomfortable. Now I’m thinking who are we going to find a sitter, or $2700 for these kids a week.

Her mother came out with her niece to “help” with the kids. During this time as I was working two and a half jobs, yeah 2.5 jobs, I came home to dirty dishes, all the clothing washed and folded, but mine and my ex had the nerve to tell me that we ought to pay her mother $600 a month!

Well my response was she needed to catch the next plane smoking because we went from paying no child care expenses , meals cooked, and help with clothing to $600 a month and two extra mouths to feed, doing nothing around the house.

I was too done with my ex at this point! So fast forward a couple of years later and we moved back to Texas. I was not wanting to move to Jefferson City, MO and gave her a choice of staying in Baltimore of moving back to where we met. I’m glad that I was firm on that.

So as the years passed and she got grounded in her job, it was time for me to establish myself as the kids start preschool. I was daddy daycare because I was not living another situation in Baltimore. I established myself as a claims adjuster, making a fair 6-figure salary. My ex was not feeling the VA job and wanted to venture off into a private practice. I told her to go do it because I’m making a fair salary to manage the household. In return, she double-down and picked up two ER shifts to save more money as if she was competing against me.

I then had my moment of “why am I here” as money problems surfaced in the marriage. At the time, she had a few bank accounts I didn’t know about and constantly complained about the things I wanted. The fact I wanted an Escalade drove her crazy. I even purchased a new Accord for her personal use, but she was not at ease from me getting my caddy that she claimed I never mentioned about wanting.

We were not hurting for anything at the time, between the two of us, we made well over 200k (not counting what she was hiding) and had two other cars paid off. However a new problem resufaced. The old sugar daddy continued to send birthday cards with money gift cards from Nordstrom‘s to our new address. Now this was a problem in Baltimore to carried back to Dallas.

He visited his daughter when we lived in Baltimore and the 4 of us met for dinner (prior to the kids). Dinner was awkward as my ex and him were acting “suspect”. Now come back to Dallas and I’m looking at a card from him, inscribed, “married sex”! So of course she played it off and I thought back to the day the triplets were born, but one of them didn’t have the mother or the father blood type! Ok, enough of that!

So other situations came about with her coworker at the VA, called AJ. So here I am living Baltimore over again. I confronted her about the cards and the strange hours at work, but that didn’t seem to encourage her to do right!

So I’m tired at this point, kids and didn’t want to leave the marriage when I should have. The wrong side of me wanted to teach her a lesson. I took a woman out and purchased her flowers on the joint bank account so that my ex can see the transaction.

We are about year six, maybe seven into the relationship. The kids were about five at the time. We had our conversations, I moved out, but wanted to work on things. She “invited” me to Vegas for a coworker’s birthday party. Please reference: https://shopping-feedback.today/humans/she-got-caught-in-vegas%3C/p%3E%3Cstyle data-emotion-css="14azzlx-P">.css-14azzlx-P{font-family:Droid Serif,Georgia,Times New Roman,Times,serif;font-size:1.1875rem;-webkit-letter-spacing:0.01em;-moz-letter-spacing:0.01em;-ms-letter-spacing:0.01em;letter-spacing:0.01em;line-height:1.6;color:#1A1A1A;margin-top:32px;}

At this time, she wanted the best of both worlds. Knowing that assets and money was going to be divided in a divorce, she wanted to stall. I moved back in to force her into divorce. It wasn’t even a month back in the house she wanted to file.

Our proceedings lasted almost two years with false accusations of me trying to kill her and me abusing the kids. After me getting rid of my worthless attorney, I told her attorney that I will walk away from all assets as long as there is no child support and 50/50 child custody. Those accusations went away and we make our way to the final hearing as me as self-representation .

Again, her attorney altered the paperwork and I didn’t sign. The judge signed off and that day in July, a ton of stress came off my back.

During our divorce, crazy things went on as she was stalling and I wanted to get things over. She started a fight with me at the Richardson PD parking lot. You can reference story: https://shopping-feedback.today/families/fear-of-loosing-freedom%3C/p%3E%3Cstyle data-emotion-css="14azzlx-P">.css-14azzlx-P{font-family:Droid Serif,Georgia,Times New Roman,Times,serif;font-size:1.1875rem;-webkit-letter-spacing:0.01em;-moz-letter-spacing:0.01em;-ms-letter-spacing:0.01em;letter-spacing:0.01em;line-height:1.6;color:#1A1A1A;margin-top:32px;}

No lies told in this one. Shortly after she took a photo of my plate, my front tires came up missing, I stabbed hers and she had it on tape. Knowing that I was going to retaliate, I fell for the trap.

There are far too many details about what happened and I will write about them later in my book. Most importantly, I wanted my kids to know not to choose sides, but to know some details as to why the marriage ended.

I owe them that because I was not the mature one to walk away and caused them to see turmoil in there earlier years. I think this is why they bicker so much at each other and it’s my prayer that they live closer together and not as their parents did.

We had more bad times, then good and there was always financial, and social infidelity going on with each other. She’s married to one of her coworkers and the continue to blame me for the kids disrespecting them, which is far from the truth.

If I don’t write anything else, I would want my kids to learn from our mistakes and do better. She will beg to differ from these events but I know the nature of those who lack integrity.

She caused a greater divide of crying “wolf” to the church leadership by showing them tapes of events from me, which she antagonized. Not to mention to so called friends who supported her infidelity. That choice is theirs alone but the most disheartening thing to me was the leadership and their false concepts of restoration.

After dealing with the disappointment of supporting someone while they get on their feet and build their career, spending money to get their startup cost for them was very difficult to swallow when I was left for a coworker. They never came to me once to find out the situation. They heard about the infidelity but swept it under the rug. Contributions can have a heavy influence on people.

Nonetheless, this story is for my kids to grow from it and make better decisions!