The Secrets of Effective Communication as a Couple

A sincere expression of feelings and thoughts should be the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

Therefore, it is important to discover the most effective method of communication with our partners. If you are in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, communication will play a key role in solving problems. For healthier communication, consider the following suggestions:

Always find the right time

If there are issues that bother you and you want to have a serious discussion with your partner, make sure you choose the best time to do so. Do not interrupt your partner when he is working, reading, or preparing to sleep, or is stressed due to problems the next day.

Let him know that you want to have a discussion at some point and find the time when you are in the same room and do nothing important. Do not start serious discussions in public places, because the aspects related to the couple's life must remain private.

Choose the direct approach

Avoid addressing serious issues in writing. Messages, letters, e-mails can be misinterpreted. Also, such an attitude denotes a lack of respect for the partner and for the relationship itself. Have a direct conversation so that there is no room for interpretation.

Do not engage in aggressive behavior

Even when we are well-intentioned, there is a possibility that we may be misunderstood because of the words we use at some point. The use of aggressive language and nicknames such as "you" will create the impression that your partner is being attacked, thus approaching a defensive attitude and being less and less receptive to the messages you send.

Instead, try to express the idea of ​​“you.” For example, it's better to say, "I feel like we haven't been very close lately," in the last period".

Be honest

Although the truth often hurts, it is the key to a healthy relationship. No one is perfect, and mistakes in the couple are often inherent, so it is better to admit your mistake and give up finding reasons to hide the truth. You will notice that when you tell the truth you will feel better, and this will strengthen your relationship with your partner.

Learn to listen

When you have something important to communicate to your partner, it is very important to know that you are heard, but it is at least as important that the discussion you have is a balanced one, not an endless monologue at the end of which to wait like the other. to react positively.

Moreover, focusing on what you want to communicate will strain you excessively, with visible reactions to verbal and non-verbal language flow. This attitude will be perceived as aggressive by the partner, and his attention will no longer be focused on what you say, but on the way you do it.

This technique, known among specialists as "active listening", gives your partner the degree of attention he needs so that he does not feel pressure from you. You need to be constantly aware of the other person's presence and help them to be part of the discussion, allowing them to intervene whenever they feel the need and encouraging them to interact so that the discussion is productive and not destructive for both.

Pay attention to non-verbal language

Encourage eye contact while talking. Sit down and position yourself towards your partner so that he is aware that you are listening to him and that you care. Give up any other activity. Do not answer the phone, do not send messages, and do not work on the laptop when talking. Pay attention to your relationship.

Keep in mind the 48-hour rule

If your partner does something that annoys you, you should tell him or her. But you don't have to do it right away. If you still feel affected after 48 hours, then it would be better to tell her. If not, forget the event. However, keep in mind that your partner may not be able to read your mind.

If you don't say what's bothering you when you're upset, you can't expect them to apologize or change their behavior. From the moment you confess how you feel and your partner sincerely apologizes, you have to forget everything. Avoid bringing back to the forefront things that are not worth your attention.

Avoid important discussions when you are nervous. If this still happens, consider the following:

• If you see that things are going in an undesirable direction and the tension is getting stronger and stronger, stop, take a step back and breathe. Take the time to calm down by watching TV, talking to a friend, walking, listening to music, or doing anything else to help you relax. The fact that you refuse to react in such a moment will make things not degenerate and will relieve you of regrets.
• The next extremely important thing that you will probably do naturally after you calm down is to think about the whole situation and the reasons why you became so nervous. Were you irritated by the way your partner spoke to you? Were you upset by what he told you? Try to figure out what the real inconvenience was and then think of the best way to express how you feel.
• The final step is to talk to your partner, keeping in mind the basic rules of communication: be honest in what you express, but remember that it is just as important to listen. You both must express how you feel in an environment that encourages healthy communication.

Each relationship represents a continuous series of ups and downs. It is normal for problems to occur from time to time and not everything is pink every time.

Every couple goes through such a phase! But the most important thing is to resolve the conflict. It is never easy to do these things, it can often seem strange and unnatural, but these few tips are a real help for effective communication and a healthy relationship.