The Power of Prioritizing Value Over Volume in Your Circle

After turning 40, I noticed a strange change in my life: My circle of friends began to shrink as my cat count grew.

Some might ask, "Aren't you an entrepreneur? Networking is money! Why don't you go out of your way to attend events and meet more people?" But the truth is, for the past few years, I’ve barely attended any networking events, yet I’ve made just as much money. My life and work are still moving forward steadily—in fact, more freely than before.

My takeaway is simple: Before your earning power reaches the billion-dollar level, networking doesn't mean much.

What you really need isn't more connections, but greater value. You should create connections that attract people to you—your high-value connections—rather than simply building a network without being able to provide meaningful value. The underlying principle of business networking is value exchange. Therefore, the most meaningful aspect of business networking is focusing on cultivating your own abilities.

This focus stems from simultaneously doing two things: streamlining my relationships and streamlining my social life.

The Boutique Network

I began to consciously filter my relationships, retaining only those who are genuine, comfortable, and supportive. The result is that my circle of friends has become miniaturized and refined—like a boutique with only a few VIP clients. Although small, each relationship is enduring and warm.

There’s even a scientific theory to support this: British anthropologist Robin Dunbar found that the human brain's cognitive and emotional capacity for stable social connections is capped at approximately 150 people, and deep, intimate relationships rarely exceed five.

In other words, even if you have 5,000 friends on social media, the only people you can truly connect with and deeply trust are those few. So, I don't think my circle is small; I just happen to be living within the optimal capacity of my brain.

Filtering for Value

At the same time, I've reduced unnecessary events and socializing, retaining only those interactions that are truly valuable. I no longer force myself to attend every networking event, nor do I waste time on meaningless small talk. After all, energy is limited, so it’s better to save it for those worthwhile conversations with... and my cats.

Why do I strongly recommend everyone do the same?

1. Your time and energy are limited. I used to spend a lot of time meeting people who "wouldn't change my life," leaving little time for myself, my career, and (very important) my cat. After streamlining, my priorities are finally back where they belong.

2. Reduce emotional waste and feel lighter. Some interactions are like taking a sip of bitter juice that takes two days to digest. Now I only keep the ones that "go smoothly"—the ones that make you want to refill your cup.

3. Make real connections last. They're few, but they're real. These friends will confide in you when you're down, and they'll be genuinely happy when good news comes.

4. Save time for what makes you shine. Freed from the constant barrage of ineffective socializing, I have more time to focus on what I truly want to do. My pace has slowed down, but my progress has become more steady.

The same is true of Shuji Nakamura, the scientist who won the Nobel Prize for the invention of the blue LED. He disliked socializing and spent almost all his time in the lab. To him, "socializing" meant chatting with his lab equipment. The result? His dedication revolutionized global lighting technology and proved that spending less time at cocktail parties and more time in the lab (or studio) can also help you shine.

5. Being less involved is the greatest kindness you can offer yourself. No need to cater to others, no need to perform, no need to fake smiles until your face cramps. With less forced involvement, life becomes more authentic, and even breathing becomes easier.

A Final Thought

Streamlining your relationships is about selecting who; streamlining your social interactions is about selecting how you interact.

When your life is filled with the right people, the right occasions, and a few of the right cats, you'll be amazed at how light and free you can become.

Thank you for reading!