The Power Of Maintaining A Special Relationship

Often we don't realise the effect on our mental and emotional health of being closely connected to someone we really care about. Eight years ago, when I was having complicated health issues and couldn't care less about meeting someone, he walked into my life and changed it dramatically with his presence, his humour, his affection, his never-ending hugs, and his genuine love for me. It has been the most awesome relationship at this stage of my life, and I have no doubt that it has helped me to deal more positively with my health issues, to laugh much more and to simply enjoy life to the full each day. Just having him there is the greatest blessing I could have wished for. I did not need him to complete me, but together we have had the most amazing time, enriching each other's experience and life-quality in unexpected and life-affirming ways.

Relationships form the cornerstone of our society, but apart from coming together through the need to procreate, do we really appreciate what relationships actually do for us? In fact, we take them for granted so much that their main function might have escaped us. One of our greatest needs is to belong, to feel included, wanted and significant. Relationships not only fulfil that need, they also affirm who we are and reinforce whom we wish to be. As those factors are essential to our happiness, good relationships can be the key to a long and happy life.

Researchers have found that the friends and family networks we have are the second biggest factor in extending longevity because they give us emotional security. People who are isolated tend to fret or whinge themselves to death because they lack the essential life elements of feeling significant, valued and included. Lacking in role models, mentors, friends, relations and people to affirm them, their existence is often a lonely one which keeps them stuck in a isolated groove without regular affirmation of the wonderful people they are.

Having a social network of people to value, affirm and encourage us is thus essential to healthy living and keeping us alive longer. It keeps us connected to others in an inclusive way and feeds our will to live. We enjoy life more and appreciate it when we are surrounded by people who care or who value our presence. That is why social networking sites like Twitter, Instagram and Facebook etc., are so popular because they are playing a vital role in extending our lives through greater purpose and meaning than even we could guess.

Relationships help people to feel special and valued which keeps them feeling more positive and dynamic. Communication through mutually satisfying dialogue is also vital in relationships because it allows us to be heard and increases our feeling of significance. Affirmation and reinforcement then emerge as a natural process when people are interested in one another, are enjoying the connection and wish to impress each other. In such situations, people feel much better about themselves, tending to enjoy their life more and extending their years of living.

Ram Dass, the spiritual writer, describes human interaction as the 'greatest gift' between people. We are on this earth "not to live sad, lonely lives of isolation, but to interact as kindred Souls in a spirit of reinforcement and encouragement", he says. Nothing matters to us except through another human being. Our love, our affection, our reinforcement, our promotion, our encouragement, our hugs, our victories are all achieved through others. Without another human being, life as we know it is not possible. We would simply go insane without that essential interaction to affirm our existence and value. We would also live much shorter lives because our lives would lack the meaning and purpose to keep us motivated.

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