The past must be forgotten

One of the persistent ideas that continues to keep me up at night is the future I'll never share with my ex. Sometimes I spend far too much time thinking about, wondering if we would have stayed together permanently, enjoyed our time together, or if it wouldn't have worked out.

In actuality, I'll never know. She ended it before we even had the chance to move in together and experience day-to-day living as a couple. I occasionally question whether she was correct to call it quits and whether it would have been pointless to continue.

However, this concept continues to send my thoughts and feelings into a tailspin. A part of me still desires her, and that same part yearns to experience what additional time with her would be like, to hug her once more, and to tell her everything that has been circling in my heart over the past few months.

But I now understand that part of the recovery process is letting go of this. I have to stop thinking about the past and let go of what may have been. I recognize where you're at if you're in the same situation, which is why I wanted to share my ideas on how to let go of the future.

Abandoning the Future

The past must be forgotten. That is common knowledge. The gravitational pull that person has on your life eventually fades away as the memories of what it was like to be together disappear.

However, we also need to let go of the future when a relationship ends. We had a notion of a future together the entire time we were with that person, wondering what it would be like to travel together, meet each other's parents, and perhaps go on to the next stage of our relationship.

When it all comes to an end, especially when it does so against our will, we are left with the painfully obvious reality that none of these things will ever occur.

Wishful thinking is useless.

It's simple to become caught up in a loop of thought that imagines things to be different. This is due to the delusion of positive feelings brought on by picturing the fantasy scenario. The issue with this is that it makes you feel worse once you realize how miserable the circumstance actually is compared to this ideal.

When you saw a true future with this individual, this is very difficult. It's possible that you intended to establish a home with them, make decisions together, and combine your lives. Another step in the healing process is realizing that thinking about this is wishful thinking and that it would be wise to quit going down that rabbit hole.

Wishful thinking won't get me anywhere, tell yourself. Keep bringing that to mind throughout the day.

You Are Ignorant of Your Own Ignorance

"You don't know what you don't know," a wise man once stated. I'm not sure who said this saying in the first place, but it's one of those cliches that kind of rings true no matter what.

What it might have been like for you two together, you'll never know. That is the straightforward truth since it is impossible to anticipate the future that has never existed. It might have been favorable, unfavorable, or indifferent. Accepting that you can't imagine what it would have been like also entails acknowledging the possibility that you might be happier without this individual.

When we still have feelings for that individual, that is difficult to do. It's a test of rational comprehension of the circumstance that liberates us to explore the notion that they weren't really the appropriate person for you.

In the end, what matters is that the appropriate person will pick you.