The Night That Changed My Life

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. — Lao Tzu

Four years ago, on a hot mid-August day, I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror getting ready for a date. An ex and I had split ways just a week prior. He told me “I’m sure you’ll marry the next person you go out with.” I rolled my eyes and did what any reasonable woman my age would have done – I hopped on Tinder to set up a date out of spite. And that’s how I met my K.

“Just here for friends, no hookups.”

Swipe right. “Just here for the cuddles.”

Swipe right.

“It’s a match!”

We began talking and eventually both shared that we were recent divorcees and had children from prior marriages. His boys, N and G, were 5 and almost 8. My son, S, was 3. We chatted about career goals and what we wanted out of life. I was fresh out of college and struggling to find a job, he was working hard to build a business doing what he loves.

We set up a date at a local Mexican restaurant. As I was getting ready that evening, I contemplated canceling. I’m an introvert through and through and I just wanted to relax at home that night, but I made myself go.

I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach as 6′ 3″ K got out of his truck and approached 5′ 2″ me with his arms wide open. I dodged his hug attempt and booked it to the restaurant door. He’ll never let me forget!

Conversation didn’t come easily at first. I’m shy when I meet new people so while he was scrambling to get me to talk, I was overthinking everything I wanted to say. It was an awkward dinner, to say the least. But something happened as we walked out into the parking lot that night. We started talking and the conversation became so natural.

At one point, K said, “I’ve been telling my mom I need to find someone to help me raise my boys.” He laughed, but I understood. Single parenting can be a challenge even with an excellent co-parent. Raising a family takes two… and friends, and aunts, and uncles, and grandparents. What I didn’t know at the time though, was that K was also struggling with heartbreaking circumstances surrounding a special little boy he’d yet to mention, and Baby J was due any day. But that’s a story for another time.

I couldn’t tell you exactly how we managed to spend two hours in deep conversation out in that parking lot, but before we knew it, the restaurant had closed and the parking lot had emptied. K bravely reached out for a hug again. Only this time, I couldn’t resist.

Shortly after we left, Snapchat chimed. “So can I get your phone number now?”

And the rest is history!

I often think about how close I came to cancelling the date that changed my life. You never know when one small decision, one introduction, one leap of faith could become the best thing that ever happened to you.

So keep your plans. Talk to new people. Step out of your comfort zone. Take that chance.

Life is full of surprises. Go find them.