The Most Common Problems of the Couple

What are the most common couple issues? There are some specific issues in each couple, but - surprise! if you talk to other couples, you will find that in fact, you are not the only one facing these difficulties.

Much is written about this topic, even on the site you can find at least two more articles… Why? Because you read, you agree, you say, "Yes, I should do this, I should change this," but… look after a day and in a while, the problem affects the harmony of your relationship again.

We all - even all of us - have these common problems as a couple, but for some, it is easier to get over (especially when learning to make small changes), while for others these are some stones in the way, which hinder the relationship…

What are the most common couple issues:

Don't listen to you! Maybe every woman had the feeling that he just doesn't listen, she's far away when you talk to her and nothing comes into her head! And when you feel like you're talking to the walls, that he approves of you quietly and solemnly just to end the conversation, you light up and start screaming - maybe that's how he'll hear you…

He doesn't pay attention to you, he doesn't appreciate you, he doesn't care what you tell him - it even seems to him that his priorities are anything but you: his profession, his mother, his friends. And this is a problem for him too: you, as a man, don't know what she wants from you!

Even when you try to listen to her, she is still not satisfied - now, you don't understand her! It is important for you as a woman to understand that this is how all men are: they may seem disinterested in your little day-to-day events, ideas, they may have no desire but to relax in peace! It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, but he learns once and for all that men are different.

And when you want to talk to him for more than ten minutes, learn to get his attention, go to him, kiss him, and let him know that you want to talk for a few minutes; and stop anything that will distract him: computer, TV. Keep calm, because if you get angry and the discussion turns into criticism about him, of course, he won't be interested in hearing you cry again.

Friends and activities. If you had a group of friends before, you don't know what a great advantage you have! Because every partner in a couple usually comes into contact with their friends and their leisure preferences. At the beginning of the relationship, although you are not very attracted to each other's friends and group activities, you accept them more easily.

But after a while, you may not be able to stand the group of friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend, what they do together. Frequent quarrels are about going out together: going out with his or her friends - two different groups of friends are rarely combined. What you can do: Give yourself a regular day off, where everyone stays with their friends.

As for going out together, try to keep the tie: a week with his group, a week with her group. Neither of you should criticize the other's friends too much and try to separate the other from his group. Just think of the major influence a close friend has on your partner! So, try to get used to the group activities and integrate as best you can.

If you don't succeed, you will have problems in the future: you will be reproached for being too distant, for not caring for him/her if you don't like his / her friends, for wanting to change him/her. Another important tip: when she or he has a very close friend, but of the opposite sex, try to keep your jealousy under control: don't ask them in any way to break up the relationship, and if they are too close, simply tell them it's just that the intimacy between them bothers you too much, without asking them not to see that friend again.

Quarrels out of nothing. Among the most common problems of the couple, there are quarrels, but quarrels that do not start from a real problem, but seem to appear suddenly! As long as it doesn't happen often, it's not a problem - they both build up inner tension and release it spontaneously through a small quarrel.

But when they show up regularly and start for stupid reasons: "Why are you wearing that dress", "why don't you have a hat" (!), Then you have a serious problem and you need to take care of it. There can be two situations: first, you may have a past misunderstanding that has not been resolved satisfactorily for one of you (about the future, about activities, tasks, etc.). Think about what happened between you and why you are not happy.

If you can't find anything, there is a second situation: one of you needs a change in his life, he is frustrated by a certain aspect (not necessarily related to the couple). So, think carefully and find the little stain in your life, then try to do something to improve the situation and reduce frustration, stress, dissatisfaction.

When you are stressed by a situation, even if it is not directly related to the couple, you unconsciously find small things that you cling to start a conflict - because your mind needs to somehow get rid of stress. So, when you have small and frequent quarrels, don't just reconcile yourself and forget them - find the hidden reason and you will be more satisfied.

Housework. Eternal discussion in the couple:

SHE: "why don't you help me, don't you see I'm doing a great job?"

HE: "I'm tired, I just want to relax a little, what's wrong with this, I worked like a mule!"

SHE: "Well, I also worked today and I still have to take care of the house!"

HE: "Well, who puts you? Leave them and we'll do them another time. Nobody is forcing you. "

SHE: "If I leave them, no one will ever do it! When you put your hand "… .etc. etc.… And you know that if you don't do it, the dishes/laundry/dust will stay there for days, weeks… Among the most common problems of the couple are the constant misunderstandings about who and what they do in the house. It has been said in other articles: it is essential that from the beginning of your life as a couple, you establish some rules about who and what you do and for how long. But it doesn't always go easy! You have to know an unpleasant truth: no matter how feminist you are and no matter how understanding he is, usually the woman ends up doing more in the house! Maybe this is normal, maybe this is how we are used to from parents (especially men caressed by their mothers), maybe it's unfair - but it's the reality. Accept her, show her everything you do and ask her for even a little appreciation - she doesn't do everything like a silent martyr. Ask him to take on small responsibilities (at least the garbage, the vacuum cleaner, the table set) and do the rest, even if you work. But always remind him - not with malice or sarcasm, but calmly, how much you work at home and ask him to appreciate you. And when you work too hard, when your professional life is very important, it means that you have a somewhat satisfactory salary - which allows you to hire a girl in the house to gather once every two weeks!

Sex life. Don't get me wrong: sex life, quality, frequency is very, very important in the smooth running of a relationship. Open communication and the desire to satisfy the other is important - may be just as important as love.

After all, what is sexless love? Friendliness! You should also know that any other problem, the tension in the relationship affects the sex life and diminishes the desire and satisfaction. As in any other aspect of a couple, you need to work on your sex life, talk about it, and make compromises to please each other. But this was discussed in the article Are You Satisfied With Your Sex Life?